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12-07-2007 I'm listening to Christmas songs as I write in here. I sat and watched my favorite Christmas movie last night "A Christmas Carol" with Alistair Sims. I really like that one and there is one other "A Christmas Carol" and I think I found it on line it is the one with Reginald Owens it is the one where he takes toys to the Crachitts. I'm listening to Christmas music which is unusual for me. My back is bothering me so I will relax on the heating pad today. I don’t decorate not that I don’t have some but not a lot of decorations But just being alone I don’t really get into it. I noticed this morning while having coffee trying to remember some of the Christmas' as a child. Well a cup of hot chocolate sounds great. I know I totally understand where I come from in my mind thinking there things been 6 years and my ex remarried within 2 years and what got me it was a guy who wouldn’t work so she lost everything well they say paybacks are a bitch. I know how I wonder if I will ever have anyone. But I refuse to get with someone just so I wont be alone it has to be for the right reasons. Well the holidays they do say gets to everyone and I am no exception. Then to top it all off on Wednesday there was a massacre at the Westroads Mall a troubled kid went nuts and killed 8 people then his self. Why cant these people just do themselves and not hurt anyone else. I'm surprised God has not decided to end it all for everyone look at what we all have become with the liberals and the people who want God off of everything and then the politicians and presidents that let them get away with so they pass laws things have gotten so ridiculous. It is why I and some people cant get into the holiday season anymore. And all of this at the Mall at this time of the year really makes it bad. I know watching "A Christmas Carol" and news on the massacre made me just sit down and cry. But I do have someone I think is very special and beautiful she is my heaven sent angel she has been through things just like me. We both lost a child. She is beautiful and sexy. I would love to be with her. Well that is my dream. We email every day. And share pictures. Well as ususal things are the way they are and in some cases not much anyone iof us can do about it. I know my thoughts and prayers go out to all those families and what they are going through. And especially the family of the kid who did all the killing. I can not imagine what they are going through or what they will go through.The one part I do know about is losing a child. I had to bury my oldest 4 years ago and it still haunts me. I think of him every day and the way things were and what they might have been. Maybe it is this time of year that brings all this out more sharply in our minds. It brings out a lot of depression in people.
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