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Totti's blog: "jokes"

created on 08/22/2007  |  http://fubar.com/jokes/b118888
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------

Date: Mar 19, 2008 9:18 PM


Don't Call Home For Money





A 16-year-old boy comes home with a brand-new Porsche one day. As you might expect, his parents freak out a little bit.





"Where on Earth did you get that car?" demands his mother.





"I bought it today," the boy calmly replies

"With what money?" his parents exclaim. "We know what a Porsche costs.



"

"With my allowance money," answers the boy. "It was just 15 bucks.



And look, here's the title to it!"

This gets the parents even more worked up. "Fifteen bucks??? Who the heck sells a brand-new Porsche for fifteen bucks?" they ask.





"It was the lady that just moved in up the street," says the boy. "I don't know her name. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.



"

"Well, there must have been some kind of mistake," says the mother. Turning to her husband, she says, "John, you go right up there and see what's going on.



"

So the boy's father walks up the street, where he finds an attractive middle-aged woman in the front yard planting petunias.





He introduces himself and says he's looking for a woman who just sold a Porsche to his son.





"Oh, yes," she responds. "That was me.



I hope he's enjoying it!"

"Er... Yes, very much," replies the father. "But to tell you the truth, we can't understand what just happened.



Why in the world did you sell it for such a low price?"

"Well," she says, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend that he ran off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't plan to come back.





He said he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.



"
---------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
Date: Mar 19, 2008 11:49 AM


A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.




Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch.



They discovered that they both
brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth
grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.




He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it.



"




"Why?" he asked.




She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said.




"Okay" and she pulled up her skirt.




He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.



"
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.



He said
to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers
down there too!" She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!






She said "Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!
REDNECK LOVE POEM SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE; SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO. PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER. I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER. SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL, BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, "THERE'S TROUBLE STILL. YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER, BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO' I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER. BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY. MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE. YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.
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