| | jokes for my mummer friends |
| created @ 02/8/2007 02:22 pm |
| mum expired. [EVERYONE] |
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Pinocchio and Raggedy Ann
Q: Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the Toy Box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, saying "Lie to me!"
Ice Cream Cone
An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?"
One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away." The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer.
Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, "No, there would be one -- the one that the farmer shot."
The teacher replied, "No, Johnny, you're wrong, but I like the way you think."
"OK, teacher, I have a riddle for you," boasted Johnny. "Let's say three women are at a bar and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone. The first one eats it by gently licking it around the edges, the second slowly sucks the ice cream off the cone from the top, and the third gobbles the top and then sucks the rest out of the cone. Which one is married?"
After a few seconds of contemplation, the teacher replied, "Well, I think it must be the third, the one that gobbles the top and sucks out the inside."
Johnny responded, "No, teacher, you're wrong -- it's the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think.
Mad Genie
A man walking down the beach sees an old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed-off genie emerges. She says, "normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son-of-a-@#*%, I am going to grant only 1."
The man thinks a minute and says, "Okay, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed." She says, "So be it!", and disappears back into the bottle.
Next morning, the guy wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance.
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