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The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Let me repeat that for you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or better yet, do unto others better than you ever expect anybody else to do unto you. Go the extra mile. Don’t stop at satisfactory when it comes to life. Just because we are suppose to care about each other and love each other, doesn’t mean we do. Just because we are suppose to have basic human kindness and respect for each other, doesn’t mean we do. Just because we are suppose to value each others opinions and right to privacy, doesn’t mean we do. Just because we are suppose to put our loved ones feeling above our own, doesn’t mean we will. It is too easy to assume people know how we feel. We take for granted that just because we love them, they KNOW we love them. We automatically assume people know how important they are to us and how much we care for them, but they don’t. Just because you said it once, or once a week, doesn’t mean it carries over like clean socks. (Clean socks stay clean indefinitely until you wear them) Our emotions and our feelings are not clean socks. I’m not sure if it is human nature or human reprogramming that causes most people to always be looking out for number one. They seem to put their own wants, desires and feelings way above that of anybody else. Even our closest friends and relatives usually come second to ourselves. In my opinion, that is backwards. If we always put ourselves first, then nobody else needs to, right? If we love ourselves above all others, we don’t need anybody else to love us also, right? Wrong. If we made a rule to put others needs, wants and feelings above our own, and everybody followed suit, there would be dozens of people caring about us and our needs. Not just one. Not just yourself. If we put others before ourselves then we would get the same kindness in return from most of th people in our lives. It probably would not happen with strangers. Strangers are funny people. We are all friends to some people and strangers to some people. But it never fails to amaze me how unfriendly and rude strangers are to each other. Rude with no regard for the other persons feelings or what their personal life or home situation may be. We are so quick to be rude to fellow human beings that we do not know; to cut someone off in traffic because god knows our time is so much more valuable than anybody else. We are willing to endanger the lives of hundreds of strangers every time we get in a rush and speed to our destination. Even though, if someone else was doing the exact same thing, and ran into our car in traffic, we would be irate and want to pull their fingernails out with pliers. We see the evil and flaws in everyone else, but never see it in our own selves. We are allowed to be rude. We are allowed to speed in traffic when we are in a hurry. We are allowed to be hateful to the young cashier who ring up our order wrong because she is distracted by her own life and problems. We are allowed to be shallow and self centered. But god forbid anybody else be or do the same. Not to us. Not on my watch. If you were at, say, the doctors office and the counter girl was snippy and a bit rude to you, most people would immediately get an attitude and be rude right back. Ask yourself this; Why is she acting like that? What could be going on in her day or in her life to make her treat a total stranger with disdain and impatience? She may just be normally rude, but not usually. If you found out that she had just found out her mother or father was dying of cancer, would you react differently to her? Or if her husband just lost his job and she was about to have to take her kids out of private school and dance classes to save money, would you feel sorry for her and maybe treat her better? If you knew she herself was dying, would you overlook her rudeness and be kind back to her? Let’s assume everybody has these types of issues in their lives at any given moment, and not jump to conclusions about people. Treat people with kindness no matter how they treat you. You would be amazed at how that can affect people in a positive way. If she is being rude to you, and she knows it but she is so upset she can’t help herself, and she sees you disregarding her attitude and being kind to her anyway, can you imagine how this could possibly make her feel a little bit better about the human population in general. It comes down to the old golden rule. Always treat others how you would want them to treat you. When you are about to be rude to an older lady at the grocery store, remember that she is probably someone’s mother and how you would feel if someone treated your mother they way you are about to treat this other person. Always look at fellow human beings as just that; fellow human beings. They are someone’s mother, brother, father, uncle, cousin or wife. They could be your family. If you perform random acts of kindness and undeserved politeness to others, it does pay itself forward. Kindness is contagious whether people like it or not. When presented with a situation where your choices are to be rude back, or to be kind, always choose to be kind. It can’t hurt anything, right? It can only help. Imagine what the world would be like if for just one day everybody was kind to each other and everybody out someone else’s feelings before their own. Kindness is an amazing thing to behold, when you see it in pure form. Not the kindness most people give; the kindness that makes them look good to others, or the kindness they can brag about later. Self less kindness is a wonderful thing. When it comes to our daily lives, everything seems so BIG and so IMPORTANT. Our social lives, what we are going to do this weekend, what pre-school we are going to get our kids into, what kind of car we drive, what kind of clothes and things we own, everything seems so important. But when it comes down to the reality of it, nothing is as important as our relationships and interactions with people. If you found out YOU were dying and only had a week to live, the electric bill or those shoes on sale, or even the argument you planned to have with your spouse later, would disappear and seem so insignificant. Close your eyes and imagine you have just been told you only have one week, 7 days, to live. What is the first thing you would want to do. How would you want to spend your last week? Would you go shopping, swimming, driving around erratically in traffic, or would you pull your loved ones close and spend every waking moment with them, making sure they know how much you love them and how important they are to you? Now...think about this...You leave your house this morning on your way to drop the kids off at school and head to work, and you are hit by a speeding bus and killed instantly. Is your life in order? Are your relationships in top form? Do the people closest to you know exactly how you feel about them and how much you love them? If not, you need to get your affairs in order. I don’t mean making funeral arrangements and a will, I mean our raw human relationships, with our kids, our spouses, our close friends and relatives that are important to us. Something else a lot of people do that is not necessary is spend a lot of time trying to make sure people like them and spending untold energy on relatives and friends that are toxic people and are not really beneficial to our lives. Our lives are way too precious to waste one single moment on anybody not worthy of our possible last day on earth. If a person is in your life and they do nothing but suck the life out of you and stress you out most of the time, cut them loose. Just because someone is blood kin to you does not mean you have to keep them close to you in your life. I have friends that are closer to me than my own blood relatives. It is a matter of caring and kindness. If you look at your caller ID on your phone when it ring, and grimace at the sight of certain people calling; start to phase those people out of your life. You don’t’ have to do it all in one day, but let them know you are at a different place in your life and only want to surround yourself with people who bring joy and kindness to your heart. People will get their feelings hurt. They will get over it or they won’t, but you cannot let that concern you too much. You can be kind and still let someone know they no longer fit into your plan for your life. You can stand up and be strong and take charge of your own life and your own surroundings and yet still be kind. Being kind doesn’t mean pleasing everyone. It just means being kind while you do exactly what it is you need to do in your life. I have found it to be true that most people are actually kinder to strangers than they are to their own family. If a casual acquaintance came to your house for dinner and accidentally spilled red wine on your good rug, you would more than likely say , “Oh no, don’t worry about it, really it is no big deal”. But let one of your kids spill ketchup or kool-aid on that same rug when nobody is around. How would you react to them? Would you react the same way or a bit more harshly? We all could use some life lessons on how to be truly good people without letting anybody run over you in life and only keeping good people close. It is possible to do, with a little guidance.
Ok, so here is what I did. I am reading Stephanie Lynn's blog awhile back about her possibly wanting another little doggie. And hearing her tale of her doggie it kinda makes me want one. So I go investigating breeds, looking up breeders, researching the breeds, looking on the internet for certain types of dogs. It was a toss up between a daschund, a min pin or a teacup poodle. I eventually settled on a female half min pin half daschund, perfect right. We adopted her from being put to sleep at the local animal shelter. I found her on pet finder.com by accident, and fell in love with her picture not knowing she was right here in my town and half n half of the two seperate breeds my husband and I were at odds about. I saw it as a sign that she was meant for me. Turns out she is a wonderful, sweet, HOUSE TRAINED (thank the lord) most loveable dog I have ever seen. And unbenounced to us at the time, she was/is pregnant. Took her to the vet a few days after I got her to see about getting her fixed and he said wellll um uh Im not sure she is not pregnant right now, bring her back in 3 weeks and lets recheck her. Ok, by the time we take her back in 3 weeks Ray Charles could tell she was obvioulsy preggers. Not what we bargained for, but is what we got....SOOOOOOOOOOO I have never had a dog that had puppies. Never been around a dog giving birth. I dont know what to do. Dont know if she will need help or if I let her do it on her own. I am so scared and nervous now every time she makes any noise I say OMG is she in labor?????????? Like a worried husband. What to do what to do...Have you ever been around a birthing dog? Do they need help? How long does it take? The vet did a sonogram on her last check up and it appeared she has 3 puppies in there. Any words of advice would be appreciated!!!!! Oh and a big ole P.S- she is due any minute now, any day...we are just waiting and watching. She pees alot like a big ole pregnant gal too, every hour on the hour. She makes it about 4 hours at night before she has to go out.
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.' One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.' This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side no matter what the situations. Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren. Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets. Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down – Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive, still around and have ones that love you, will be there for you no matter what and would do anything for you. And when you are tired and complain about your job – Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
15 Rules Of Drunk Dialing Before you go out getting sloppy drunk and start phoning every friend, family, relative, or random person you can come across - there are a few rules you must know. Etiquette is very important, especially when drunk dialing. Only drunk dial when you’re drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. It’s okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen. If you’re going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you.” Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to get bent over? Voicemails are always better. This way your friends can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, or even weeks to come. Drunk texting is OK, but only if you’re prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you sober up. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they ever had, and everything they know they learned from you. This way you can all sleep well at night. You can also call this same ex and let them know, that you know, that they still love you. Then explain that I would still love me too! If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time. It’s always a good idea to sing on someone’s answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted, or dirty and sex crazed… Never angry. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They’re usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that “you have a problem”. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is a bad thing which usually leads to angry dialing. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend’s. It’s karma.
Never try to outsmart a woman A man calls home to his wife and says,"Honey, I have been asked to go fishing at the big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box? We're leaving from the office, and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas". The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! lots of walleye, some blue gill, and a few pike. "But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do." The wife replies "I did, they were in your tackle box". Never, never try to outsmart a woman...
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE
This is too funny!!! In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40: 60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS) As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game , s he doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pan ts making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! Andy Rooney is a really smart guy! Femmes & Fellas, forward to five fine, fun, fabulous, fancy-free female friends over 40 or who have female friends over 40!
Ten Life and Love Enhancing Attitudes and Behaviors One Be willing to endure "healthy suffering". "Healthy suffering" is the kind of suffering that comes naturally when you are attempting to accomplish something of virtue that is difficult. For example, quitting smoking, disappointing someone with bad news, writing a book, or correcting a mistake are difficult tasks where we experience some kind of discomfort. Life is choked full of difficult problems to face. If we don't face them because we want to avoid the discomfort that comes with them, we actually create other, often more difficult problems. These new problems create "unhealthy suffering" and will continue until you honestly face the original problem. Decide that you are willing to suffer for a higher good. For example, if you don't want to quit smoking because you don't want to gain weight, decide that you are willing to gain weight if that's what happens. Take the weight off later after you are secure as a non-smoker. Be willing to suffer the sadness that comes with a betrayal, the embarrassment that comes with a mistake, the anger that comes with unfairness, and the fear that comes with risk. If you try to sweep pain under the carpet, you will suffer more. If you face it, you are free to go on with your life. Decide that discomfort and suffering are a natural part of life. Don't run from it. Move through it. It will lead you to resolution, increase your self esteem and feelings of empowerment, and even bring you enlightenment. Two Be direct. Ask for what you want. Many people are able to ask for what they want when they are relatively sure that they are going to get it. Even so I am amazed at how difficult it seems for many people to just tell another person what they want. It is equally important to ask for what you want in the face of difficulty, when you feel vulnerable, or unsure of the results. For example, when you are faced with what appears to be a difficult or unreasonable person, do not hesitate. Calmly ask for cooperation and help. More often than not this approach opens a door for positive negotiation. Do not expect that others will see what you need and offer it automatically. Slow down. Calm yourself. Think of positive ways you can ask for help and support. Offer your help and support in return. Most people avoid the easy direct route to filling their needs. It's as though they are waiting for someone or something else to fill their needs, offer the solution, or provide the opportunity. Many people "beat around the bush," never saying what they really want and never taking the necessary steps to reach their goals. In fact, they may work toward other people's goals more readily than their own. They put off, unwilling to suffer the discomfort of doing the job. I remember a client whose husband wanted to go on a skiing vacation. She did not want to go. However she did not tell her him. So she calculated the amount of money the trip would have cost and spent it redecorating her living room, even though it didn't need redecorating. She knew that after she spent the money redecorating, her husband wouldn't spend money on a trip. She couldn't simply say to her husband, "I don't want to go on the skiing trip." All her communications were similarly indirect. No one knew what she really wanted. What an unhappy way to live. Directness is a sign of maturity. It allows others to know how you feel, what you need, and what you expect. There are no confusing mysteries. Directness opens the door to more aliveness and creativity. Be direct. Be kind. Be respectful. Three Decide that all your communications will be win-win. We have been raised in a competitive world of win-lose attitudes. We grow up with the notion that there is only so much love, only one prize, and a limited supply of anything we value. Without even knowing it we learn to communicate defensively or offensively, automatically discounting any possibility of negotiating a win-win solution. We do this simply because we subconsciously assume that others don't care if we get our needs filled. I know this perhaps sounds extreme, but observe yourself and others for a while. See what you learn. Adopt the attitude that everyone can and should win. Be willing to negotiate until everyone is satisfied. Don't stop until everyone wins. Be willing to make reasonable compromises. Never aim to defeat or withdraw without a win-win resolution. You will find that most of the time everyone can win. Four Set healthy boundaries and limitations with reasonable consequences and be willing to enforce them. People often get overwhelmed and defeated by circumstances that they have set up themselves. For example, scheduling too many things in a day, allowing inappropriate people into personal business, or allowing others to take advantage can produce some serious problems that may not go away. Decide what is truly important, appropriate, and healthy for you. Do not allow yourself or anyone else to go over those lines. Do not allow yourself to be seduced or intimidated into experiencing something that is not in line with your personal ethics. Communicate your boundaries and the consequences of broken boundaries to others. When it is right, say "No," even if it may seem to hurt another. Follow through with the consequences you have set up even when it creates problems. Be willing to deal with the problems. Remember that enabling or allowing another to take advantage of you is ultimately harmful for that person and erodes their character, not to mention your own. Five Listen. It seems that we humans have our own agenda and that instead of fully listening to others we are busy with our own opinions, needs, and attitudes. Some people may appear to listen, but are actually silently preparing for what they want to say next. Good listening takes effort, sometimes even strenuous effort. Partial listening isolates us and sets up a win-lose relationship with others. One cannot truly connect with another unless one listens. When another is speaking set aside your own agenda for a while and really listen. Focus your attention entirely on the speaker for a time. This is work, but be willing to do it. Being a good listener does not mean that you have to give up expressing yourself. It means concentrating on what the other is attempting to say for a time. Then you can weigh the message, attitudes, and needs of the other person more intelligently and respond more responsibly. Good listening allows you to connect with others, expands your horizons, and offers the opportunity for real viable solutions to everyday problems. The pay off is big when you really listen. Six Do not let your fear of loneliness or of being alone run you. Some people will endure unthinkable pain and abuse just to avoid loneliness. "But if I do what I want I might end up all alone." I have heard this so many times. What is your life purpose? Is it to live for other's desires, to do anything just to avoid possible pain or loneliness, or to live so others will approve of you? If so, you are not really living. You are just surviving. If your life purpose is to experience a high level of integrity, love, and creativity, you can be sure that there will be times when you will be alone and feel lonely. This is a small price to pay for being fully alive. What a waste it is to just survive a life. Be willing to suffer the pain of loneliness. If you stick with it, in time you will find someone that you can always depend upon and give you great company - yourself. You will learn that loneliness is a part of life. Every person feels it. Being alone and loneliness is not a sign of incompetence or inadequacy. It can, however, be a sign of self-responsibility and creativity. Learn to spend quality time alone. For example, take long walks where you can think through things, sit quietly and reflect on your life, or do some mindless task like weeding the garden while you reflect. This is quality alone time and will support you on your journey through life. Seven Be willing to delay your gratification. Instant gratification is the culprit of much unhappiness. By taking the quickest, easiest, cheapest, or shortest route, you most often guarantee that you will get inferior quality. You are cheating yourself out of real value and often will have a price to pay for it. Some people pay the price of their very lives. Be willing to wait a little longer and effort a little harder. Do not settle for less than you deserve. Don't take strawberry when you want chocolate. Don't stop at a high school education when what you want to do requires a college education. Don't allow lesser people to take your time when you deserve quality people in your life. Take the long road if the long road will take you to a better place than the short one. By delaying your gratification you are building your character, exercising and developing self-discipline, increasing your self-confidence, and increasing your happiness quotient. Delayed gratification is an act of love, an expression of how much you care about yourself. Eight Speak respectfully even when you think you have been wronged. Speaking disrespectfully to another not only hurts another but it hurts you, too. When you do this you shift your focus from what is virtuous to what is low. Where you focus, you follow. When you respond with respect your focus has to be of a higher nature and that is where you will automatically go. Refrain from "joke shaming" or sarcasm. "Joke shaming" is putting someone down or revealing their weaknesses under the guise of a joke. Many people are unaware that much of what they communicate includes joke shaming and sarcasm. The end result is often a combative relationship that breeds silent resentment and lacks essential respect. Do not attempt to motivate or "teach" others by putting them down, no matter how amusing the joke or justified the sarcasm. It is better to say what you want and need in a direct and kind way. Support people by showing them this kind of respect. They will return it in kind. Nine Keep your word even in little things. Sometimes people say, "I'll call you tomorrow," and don't; borrow something and don't return it; say, "I'll buy you lunch next time," and forget; or say, "I'll come to your event," and cancel at the last minute or simply don't show. This behavior reflects a lack of sincerity and integrity that subtly undermines trust. When you give lip service to something not only do you confuse and undermine the trust of others, you do so as well with yourself. Do what you say you will do no matter how small or inconsequential it seems even if it is inconvenient. Don't make casual promises you can't keep just to look good in the moment. It doesn't really pay in the long run. People learn not to trust you and you learn not to trust yourself. Ten Prioritize your tasks. Do first things first. Start now. This has something to do with your "healthy suffering." People procrastinate because they don't want to feel the discomfort that is associated with doing something inconvenient, distasteful, or difficult. As a result new problems arise often causing more discomfort than the original task. Keep this as a rule of thumb: Do the things you resist doing first. Then you will be free to enjoy the rest of your day. Adopt an attitude of setting your feelings of resistance aside and forge ahead in spite of those feelings. You will still feel them. You just are not giving them power to choose your actions. Now you are in control, not your feelings.
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