Bush resignation speech
Even if you are one of the rabid Bush - haters, read this. It might
have some value. Many of you deserve a PRESIDENT Pelosi. It has a
ring to it that you will find dramatic. Maybe, even a tad mind-
bending. I have NO clue as to the author or his/her intent. I think
it is a masterpiece. If it were to happen, it just MIGHT awaken
this sleeping mass of indifference we once called the UNITED States
of America, before we disintegrate into a multi-cultural,
politically correct pile of corrupt mush. If he were to give the
speech, I would hope some of you might be smart enough to get out
of the market one day before. The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:
Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans."
Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who
more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has
happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all
in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution
or something, let me assure you: there's been no breaking of laws or
impeachable offenses in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people.
I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on
in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And
the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and
figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and
the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is
in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners including
record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning
minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an
all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the
Clinton Administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it
doesn't seem to have sunk in.
Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has
rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating
in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and
most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because
there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small
handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront
property than your economic security.
We face real threat s in the world. Don't give me this ~`blood for oil"
thing. If I was trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil
fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this
'Bush Lied, People Died' crap either. If I was the liar you morons take me
for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could
be 'discovered'. Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was
faulty. Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the
goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was
official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named ' Clinton '
established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during
the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models
squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the
Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to
outspend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't
care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long
as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they
can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over
the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in
the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because
you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law
enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.
When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and
difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and
difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor'.
Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things
through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that
wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.
Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a
cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dammit, you might just as
well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over
the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC
News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would
rather watch American Idol.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will
always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city
that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I could say more
about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the
money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it
would sail right over your heads.
So I quit. I' m going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient
house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully
self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and
as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe
I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your
new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I
still have a glimmer of hope that there're just enough of you remaining who
are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God bless what's left of America . Some of you know
what I mean, and some are too damned ignorant to have a clue as to what is going on!
