ok, so my current relationship is kind of complicated. ...i guess i have to start from the beginning with this one...
September 13th 2008 i met this incredibly cute boy. we had been talking online for a while, but finally decided to walk a few blocks in the rain to meet. [it was cute.] so anyway. we ended up really hitting it off. and we started dating that night.
we were cuddling and checking out myspace and he told me that he had two "myspace girlfriends" that he would be happy to ditch for me. i agreed to discontinue any other relationships i had. he said that he didn't typically "break up" with girls though, that he'd just ignore them, and generally they got the point.
so everything was going relatively smoothly for the next week. i saw him every day. and although we lived quite some distance apart the drive to see him was well worth it. his outgoing personality made me smile. and i found that i was more happy when i was with him than i had been in quite some time.
the only conflict i really had with him was the fact that he refused to change his mypsace status from "single" to "in a relationship". it wasn't really a big deal though, he told me he just didn't feel like messing around with his page, and he was too lazy to change it.
then came a night that he and i were supposed to stay at my brother's house. my brother is one of the most important people in my life, so this was a big deal. i really wanted them to meet. i was waiting to hear from my boy of when it was ok to go pick him up. he told me he was waiting on his friend, he had to pick something up from him and he wasn't sure exactly when he'd be back. [this was typical. they never make set times.] he told me he'd call me back in 10 and i could go get him. well i didn't hear from him for over half an hour. so i called him. and no answer. i waited and called back again. this time someone answered, but it wasn't him. it was his best friend who told me that my boyfriend was passed out and he was carrying him back to his house. and their band was playing a show the next day. so he didn't think they'd be coming over. i was pissed, but whatever. sometimes things happen right?
so i talked to him the next day and he apologized. he said he didn't realize how exhausted he was, he hadn't slept in days. i let it go. the next few days it became more and more difficult to see him, as he was always somewhere different and he gave shitty directions. i'd get frustrated with him constantly. another thing i had realized by this point was that he really didn't trust me. there was no reason for him not to, but he was constantly going through my text messages and call log. half the time i don't think he even knew i noticed him doing it. but whatever. didn't bother me. because i had nothing to hide.
the one night i was going to pick him up from his friend's house, and i met another of his friends that i hadn't really "met" before [i had only seen him at their friends house briefly...and he was standing in the kitchen in his boxers.] he was very attractive, and he seemed to be a nice guy. as my boyfriend and his other friend ran errands, Aaron and i got stuck waiting in the car several times. we talked a little bit, just about general things.
when my boyfriend got back in the car he picked up my phone [as usual. his was always dead.] i saw him playing with it. and as i parked, i noticed that he had started calling one of my contacts. i quickly grabbed the phone and hit the end key. thinking he had accidentally clicked on it [its not that uncommon with the touch screen]
it wasn't until later that i looked to see who he had called. and it finally clicked that he REALLY didn't trust me. he had called my friend Aaron. [i'd guess he was thinking i got his friend's number while he was running errands.]
but i let it go for the most part. then i started getting more suspicious, why didn't he trust me? maybe it was because he had something to hide? so i added Aaron on myspace, and sent him a message asking him how my boyfriend is around other girls when i'm not around. and we ended up talking about other very general things. just the "how's your day going? how was work". at that point, i considered him one of my friends.
my boyfriend asked me the next day if i had been talking to Aaron on myspace. i told him i had been. and it was no big deal. he and his friend said "yeah, he was bragging about ho he talked to you...he thinks he's gonna fuck you"
Aaron tried to get me to come hang out a few times without my boyfriend. i never did though, because i said i would feel awkward. especially if my boyfriend showed up like he typically would at that house. he understood. and was fine hanging out in groups. and i questioned him about what the boys had told me about what he supposedly said. he got frustrated that they were so childish and promised that they were just saying that to turn me against him. [Aaron and i talked on the phone a few times too. mostly about my boyfriend. and politics, and other very general things.]
then one night, i was on my boyfriends myspace page, and i saw a comment from one of his myspace girls that said "i miss my boyfriend" so i left a comment that said "apparently that girl still thinks she's your girlfriend" of course she read it and the name calling began.
then, i got a message from another girl, she was very nice, but was curious about my relationship with my boyfriend. she said she'd been seeing him for about 5 months. and he told her he loved her. and he said he wasn't seeing anyone else.
i was kind of hurt, but i figured she was just as he said, a "myspace girl" so i started asking these girls questions, they both said that they actually hang out with him in person. the one girl had been seeing him for 5 months, and the other for about 3 months. i planned on calling my boyfriend and confronting him about it, but it was still early for him, so i figured i'd wait. then came a comment i wasn't ready for, the one girl left a comment with part of a conversation they were having on AIM [their conversation was going on while she and i were arguing] it was her asking him about me. and him denying that i was his girlfriend, she said "well thats not what she's telling me" and he said "well she can go fuck off" i was PISSED. i called him right away. and confronted him about it. he played dumb. and it ended with him hanging up on me. the other girl later apologized and said that she realized i was only trying to look out for her. and that my boyfriend had told her that i was "all Aaron's anyway"
i called him later asking when i could come pick up my hoodie and my video game. i guess that was my way of confirming it was over.
i talked to Aaron the next day. he said i should come over and hang out. now there was nothing to hold me back, i didn't have to feel weird about hanging out with my boyfriends friend... because he was no longer my boyfriend.
so, i went to hang out with Aaron. we were watching hellboy and he ended up putting his arm around me. it was cute, because i found him amazingly attractive. and let's face it, i was on the rebound. we ended up making out, and, then some. maybe i was wrong for moving so fast, but i was an emotional wreck. either way. it turned out to be a good night overall. and Aaron and i are now dating.
my only problem now is, i am so stuck on my ex. Aaron is amazing. and i like him, he's gorgeous, but i can't stop thinking about my ex, how much i wish i was still with him. and it complicates things because i still see him on a regular basis. we are on friendly terms, but i still find myself getting the urge to kiss him before i leave, or hold his hand. or push him against the wall and make out with him when he jokingly says "i'm so horny right now".
at this point,
i'm not afraid to admit that i don't have a clue what i want...
if you've read all of this thanks! i give you a lot of credit. and if you can give me any feedback i'd appreciate it. :]
