Cece Rose 4 in the morning's blog: "I can't think of a witty blog name"

I’m sure some of you will be laughing at me but I’ve resigned myself to that, lol. So anyway, last Thursday I got home from USD and was pretty wiped out and I decided to take a little nap before work. Stupid me forgot to set an alarm and I woke up to discover I only had 15 minutes to get to work on time (and I hate being late, it’s a pet peeve of mine). I’m literally running around the apartment trying to get dressed, put my hair up, not trample Jersey, and find the stupid visor thingy I have to wear. I had left my backpack on the living room floor because when I raced in there to hunt for my visor, I tripped over it. Total comedy movie type of trip, I went flying. And I landed on the oh-so-soft coffee table. I hit the thing so hard I broke one of it’s legs off and I was lying on the floor in incredible pain and completely winded. Needless to say, I just called in sick. But an hour later I was still in a lot of pain and I had some seriously nasty-looking bruising on the left side of my torso. Jack made me go to the emergency room that night and I got that happy news that I hadn’t broken any ribs- I just bruised 4 of them. They tried to give me this funky belt thing but it was seriously uncomfortable so I just opted for the meds (thank god for Percocet). I had to ice myself for a few days and I’m supposed to take it easy for 3-4 weeks. Thankfully I’m past the point where it hurt to breath (that really sucked) and I can even laugh a bit without twinges. You know, almost a week later I still have some bruising. Damn fair skin. But I have to say taking a couple days off school to lounge in my pjs watching talk shows and playing with my kitten was not a hardship, even with the rib pain. =P Round Table wasn’t very understanding so I quit. I figure in another two weeks I’ll start looking for something else. Retail maybe. It could be fun. What’s not to love about clothes? So, I’m off to finish some homework and give Jersey some lovin’. I’m just gonna focus on school (which tells you that I’ve been slacking, lol) and healing and when I’m better I’ll come and give my favorite CT people some lovin’ too. =)

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been around much. My real life is interfering with my online one, lol. There’s been so much going on. First off, I finally told my dad that my life is my own and I’m going to do what in college and afterward. I expected him to go completely postal but he didn’t. He told me he respected me for the way I handled it and apologized for being too controlling. Total stunner. But it’s a real weight off me. I was stressing about it for weeks. I moved out and I’m living with Jack and Jessica. We have a pretty nice apartment on the 6th floor. Oh but next time we’re hiring movers because shoving that couch into the elevator was an epic battle that I’m not eager to repeat. It’s an awesome building downtown with a rec room, pool, and computer lounge. Sometimes we get on each other nerves (like if Jack doesn’t stop leaving hair in the sink when he shaves, I’m going to cut him with that razor) but so far we’re getting along great. I have a kitten! She’s so cute. All tiny and gray. I’ve called her Jersey. I don’t know why really, it just seems to fit her. Jack found her, slapped a bow on her and gave her to me, lol. She’s one spoiled kitten too. She has a big fluffy bed that she doesn’t even sleep in since she prefers mine. I got her one of those boxy climbing things but I doubt that’ll get used because I’m pretty sure she’s afraid of heights. At least she loves all the toys I bought her. Well I’m gonna go enjoy my night off. I’ll try to be on more, now that things have settled down.

Hey guys, just wanted to tell you all I won't be around for several days. My computer is being really really evil and I have to get it fixed. I'm bumming my sis' laptop right now. If you rate my pics or something and want me to do yours, message me and I'll do it when I get back, On a fun note, my cousin Vivian is visiting from Cleveland! I'm taking off with her tomorrow morning to Mexico for a few days. After that I'm gonna drag her around to class with me and stuff =) I'll stop in when I can. Love you all!!

Nosy fucker*: Hey, I have a question for you ->Me: Ask Nosy fucker: Do you have yahoo messenger? ->Me: Yes Nosy fucker: whats your yahoo name? ->Me: Why should I tell you that? Nosy fucker: um to chat? ->Me: I realize that, I'm not dense. Let me rephrase: why would I want to chat with you? *name has been changed to protect the 'innocent' Evil of me, I know but what can I say, I'm in a spiteful mood. Bah humbug (does that only apply around Christmas? So what, I'm using it now) and all that.

It's official. I'm dumped. I called Haeli today and she sounded normal this time but she still meant every crazy thing she said last night. I know she's home by now and part of me wants to drive over and talk to her face to face about this... but the other half feels like, why should I have to convince my girlfriend to be with me? So there goes six months. The tender nights and even sweeter mornings. I had started to think about what a life with her would be like. And I liked that picture... I really don't know how I feel about any of this. It's kinda... blurry. Unreal. I'm gonna drown myself in country music. Night all.

Holy fucking shit. I need to stay off the crack before I go to bed. I dreamed there was a huge party in the middle of the night at Blanchet (my old high school in Seattle). People were running around, dancing in the hallways, defacing school property and all that fun stuff. I was with my ex Robert and my friends Julie and Marie when someone yelled that the cops were coming. Everyone scattered, looking for ways out or places to hide My friends dragged me downstairs into the textbook storage room and we waited, giggling and whispering. After a while, the doorknob turned and the door was yanked open. It was my dad and he looked scared. He grabbed me and told me “We have to go, right now.” We all went upstairs to the main school hall and I saw why my dad was frightened. The walls, ceiling and floor were splattered, sprinkled and splashed with blood. I had to step around a severed hand and some stray fingers. We tried to find a way out. I had wandered a little bit away and pushed open some swinging double doors and there they were. The other kids from the party. They were all sporting gruesome injuries and were very dead… if you didn’t count the fact that they were still moving around. Yep, fucking zombies. And they had seen me. I screamed for the others to run and tried to fight them off but they ate my face. I died and there was all this bright white light. Suddenly I was on this huge campus, kinda like the university one. The sun shone, butterflies fluttered by, birds tweeted and all that crap. The same kids were there but they looked normal and happy and were milling around, playing games or chatting in small groups. I saw Julie and Marie and a few other girls I knew and ran to them, crying. We hugged and cried together because we knew we were dead. After the crying we got happy because we were at least together. But doubt was creeping into my mind and part of me was sad that I was going to be 15 forever. The girls sprawled on the grass, laughing and I joined them half-heartedly. Robert showed up and joined us too. He was holding my hand when a woman came up to me and told me my dad had arrived but was having a hard transition. I followed her inside to a room where my dad’s broken body was laid out on a shiny table. I was upset but his wounds were healing before my eyes. Then I thought “If this is heaven, where’s my mom? She died 5 years ago so she should be here.” I asked the woman that but she just smiled and walked away. The happy little heaven spell disappeared and I ran out of the room screaming “I want my mom! Why isn’t she here? This isn‘t Heaven! This isn‘t real!” The other people in the building were looking at me curiously when two big men grabbed me and hauled me into an elevator. I was screaming and fighting them until they told me to calm down because they were just taking me to God. He was a smiling older man and the second I saw him I knew it was wrong. He tried to tell me things were fine, I could see my mom soon. I yelled at him “You aren’t God! You’re just some sick soul sucker! You’ve stolen our souls and you’re keeping us here! Soul sucker!” His face faced changed, he grew fur and 8 eyes, like a spider. He hit me, beat me and then threw my body into a dark hole with a steel door... Then I woke up. I was totally freaked and had to turn on all the lights, lol.

So I'm a little teensy bit late for Creative Writing and I get the 'look of death' from my teacher who then launches into a speech about the importance of being on time. Later when he hands back our memory essay, I got a freakin' D. I know I rushed but I didn't think it was that bad. So grrrr, I'm mad at myself for that. Theater Appreciation was a welcome relief. I'm going for the extra project, going to see "Because of Cain" and reviewing it. Apparently it's a humorous drama so I'm very interested to see how that works out, lol. Then I get home and Haeli calls me, bawling because the kitten she found and brought home a few days ago was dead. She'd come home and found her curled on the bed and she just thought the cat was sleeping... So when I was tired, grumpy and just wanting a nap, I had to drive over and help her bury the poor thing. Finally I come home, take my tired grumpy ass to bed and can I sleep? No. Tried for a whole freakin' hour. Nothing. lol and to top it off, I go to make that profile link thing and I'm so distracted I misspell my own damn name. How sad is that?