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"What a Loser He Turned Out to Be..." . If only I was able to collect some monetary fee every time I had to hear that line. Hell, I'd be charging myself just as much as I would my friends. The thing that's most interesting about that statement is that he didn't "turn out" to be a loser. He always was one. We just didn't see it until reality was slapping us in the face. For whatever reason, when we meet someone new, there is a delicious sense of novelty swirling in the air around them. Or maybe it's those alcohol fumes. At any rate, we end up light headed and don't see the signs in front of us. We wax over obvious details. We build his image up in our minds into something that doesn't even resemble the person in front of us. If it's anyone's fault that he "turns out" to be a loser.... it's ours. The same could be said about how men are with women. As long as she is attractive enough and deems you worthy enough to fuck, you'll overlook just about anything. It takes you guys just as long to figure out that we're neurotic nutcases as it takes us to realize that you not having had a car for the last 2 years is a pretty good indication that you are not going to rush out and buy one now that we're dating you. If you like the look of our tits and we let you touch them, then you'll let the thousands "just checking in" phone calls slip past your lunatic detector. I'm a fanatic for novelty. It ties into my ENFP nature and is further compounded by my Aquarian trait of being flaky. If I decide that I like you, I'll shower you with attention for days, weeks or months. I'll send you emails, call you in the middle of the night, and generally be a fixture in your life that you can set your watch to. That is... until the day arrives when I up and stop. If I could explain the thought process behind how I can make a person the center of my world and then just wake up one morning and carry on as if they never existed, I'd write a damn book about it. I'm sure there are scores of people out there who would buy it. I've left befuddled masses in my wake, people clinging to the question of "But I thought you liked me!?!" Thing is, I DO still like you. I just... lost focus after your novelty wore off. Generally I will find someone or something new to occupy my time and that is why a friend will go from main feature to occasional amusement. Sometimes I get into my version of an emo funk and ignore everyone. Even other times, I will be thrown off guard by the force of the returned affection. I might like to call people on my whim, but those who do it all the time to me tend to creep me out. I'll inundate you with attention, but you better act like you could live without me. Something clicks off in my brain when I sense that you might actually "need" me. Here is where my "turned into a loser" issues come in. I'm a dreamy person, an imaginative person, a creative person. I will take little things that I learn from you while I am in that inundation phase and turn you into something you are clearly not. I will gloss over all the signs. When I get that strange tingle in the lower part of my spine that screams: "WALK AWAY! WALK AWAY!" I'll brush it off and convince myself that I'm being too harsh. Trouble is, in the end... that tingle was always right. There have been a few instances where there was no tingle. Where the person really should have been a keeper. These are the ones that are the most disappointing of all when you find out their loser/psycho status. How do you handle walking away from a situation like this? When all other evidence in your past doesn't add up to the final product? How can you gracefully make an exit from something that you never thought you'd be walking away from? I can apply this to romantic relationships as well as friendships. I've commonly been quoted as saying: "People have a shelf life." This applies to everyone who passes through our lives. People are not meant to be kept forever. Even those that adore the most just don't make it from the starting line to the checkered flag with you. There comes a day when everyone must move on. So who cares if they turn out to be a loser then? And what does it matter if in the long run that chick was a psycho? Sure, I'm disappointed and sometimes I even cry at that moment in a friendship when I see the ticking clock. But I've discovered that it's far easier to say that "it was what it was when it was" and leave it at that. Then I walk away and don't look back. Well... it would be a lot easier not to look back without the damn internet. But fuck it. Eventually I get bored of checking their profile hourly until they turn into an occasional fond memory. You can do it too. As I once told a friend... forget the emo. Get in touch with your ENFPmo. Come on... you know you all want to be a flaky psycho like me
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