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What are you waiting for?
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride,
then I get to the bottom and I see you again!
Helter Skelter!
-John Lennon
"Everybody I know who is right always agrees with ME" -Rev Lady Mal
THE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS
The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names.
It says little, does less, means nothing.
* Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first.
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The Numeral V sign - Used by Old Roman Discordians, Illuminatus Churchill, and innocent Hippies everywhere. |
HOLY NAMES
| Discordians have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not unique to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son of Mr. and Mrs. VI? And also TITLES OF MYSTICAL IMPORT. A Rival Pope |
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Will whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please return it. |
A =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities.
THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA
by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun,
P.P. POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal
When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours.
It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water.
| And again in his weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succumbed to the pressure and he denied the voice. And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task. |
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And Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.
"The Five Laws have root in awareness."
Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85)
HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1
NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME!
The Discordian Society has no definition.
I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you like.
AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him.
He speaks for himself and for those that say that they like what he says.
THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own sect.
If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't.
Some Episkoposes have a one-man cabal. Some work together. Some never do explain.
There are no rules anywhere. The Goddess Prevails.
THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH
The Initiate swears the following:
FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!
(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German: FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE! or perhaps WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!! which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)
| THE RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE, CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR. MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF '44. |
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Corrections to last week's copy:
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"This statement is false" (courtesy of POEE) |
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Trip 5!
The POEE Baptismal Rite 
This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.
1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something.
2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.
3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather,
The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:
1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING?
The Initiate answers YES.2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF?
The Initiate answers YES.3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED?
He answers YES.4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT?
The Initiate answers PROBABLY.5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME: (The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.)
The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES!
4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who are present.
5) The Ceremony generally degenerates.
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Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway |
DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP |
Answers:
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HOW TO START A POEE CABAL WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER
If you can't find the Polyfather, or having found him, don't want anything to do with him, you are still authorized to form your own POEE CABAL and do Priestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your Official Rank will be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the same as a POEE PRIEST except that you don't have an Ordination Certificate. The words you are now reading are your ordination.
HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN
General License was Sgt. Pepper's Commander
OLD POEE SLOGAN
When in Doubt, Fuck it. When not in Doubt... get in Doubt!
World Council of Churches Boutique
Note to POEE Priests:
The Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived not as a commercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep your cool when seeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via the market place.
The Hidden stone ripens fast,
then laid bare like a turnip can easily be cut out at last
but even then the danger isn't past.
That man lives best who's fain
to live half mad, half sane.
Flemish Poet Jan Van Stijevoort, 1524.
BEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith declare myself a POEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
the presiding POEE Official (if any) responds:
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
| find the goddess Eris Within your Pineal Gland POEE |
To Diverse Gods Do Mortals bow; |
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"common sense is what tells you that the world is flat." |
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| This is St. Gulik. He is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from ours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many names. He is a Roach |
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POEE & It's Priests
If you like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you may wish to from your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of POEE Priestly Things. A "POEE Cabal" is exactly what you think it is.
The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once in a while, he even listens.
Should you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they are all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that Episkoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top.
See the section "Discordian Society"
ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST
There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify.
Who could possibly know better than you whether or not you should be Ordained?
An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as "one who holds an "Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather."
(HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1)
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Application For Membership In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 1. Today's date Yesterday's Date |
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2. Purpose of this application: membership in :
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3.Personal Name Holy Name Address (If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded) |
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| 4. Description: Born: Yes No Eyes: 2 Other Height: fl. oz. |
Last time you had a haircut: Reason: Race: Horse Human I.Q.:150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300 |
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| 5. Historical: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th |
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Medical: Warning! CONFIDENTIAL! |
Professional: FOR PUBLIC RIDICULE |
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| 6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits | ||||
| I wear obscene tattoos because I have ceased raping little children yes no Reason |
I would rather |
7. Self Portrait |
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| Rev. Mungo For Office Use Only Accepted Rejected Burned |
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I hereby certify that all the infornation on the above form is as true as I care to make it without actualy going out and purchasing more than 5 kilos of papier mache.
I an not guuily of the Murder of Rasputin, nor would I ever think of Overthrowing the US. Govt. even on a Sunday.
POEE
POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent deity, reversity beyond-mystique." We are not really esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us.
MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is called The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold.
The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporally and spacially locating the rest of Mal-2.
POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal gland, and has only one scruple--which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain.
POEE has not registered, incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the State.
POEE has 5 DEGREES:
POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian Society Legionnaires.
PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS.
The POLYFATHER ordains priests.
I don't know about the =POPES=.
"This web site is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out."
Lichtenberg
