Hey, I'm reposting this. A few of you saw it in December, and to you I apologize that you're seeing it again. But I have a lot of new friends, plus I reposted NSFW pics, so I thought it apropos to repost.
So, as time goes on, I become increasingly annoyed by certain things online. Believe it or not, I started out on this whole online adventure very optimistic, friendly, and patient, but that has eroded with time and treatment. If you don't believe me, ask to see my chronicle of stupid, offensive, and horrific behavior I experienced in a few short weeks online (after that, I stopped keeping track 'cuz it got too depressing).
As a result, I've come up with what I'm starting to think of, not as *rules*, exactly, but more as guidelines for dealing with me. If these sound overly harsh, it's because these are things I run into time and time again. Don't take them personally. If you're actually reading this blog, they probably mostly don't apply to you. And if they don't apply, then don't get annoyed on behalf of the assholes out there. They're the ones ruining it for the rest of you. Blame them, not the women reacting to their ill treatment.
Physical Appearance
If someone finds me attractive, that's great. That said, I am more than a pic. Hell, I'm a lot more than just my NSFW pics, let alone my pics in general. So READ MY PROFILE! I'm serious about this. My self-image is not based on my appearance, but rather on my personality, intellect, etc., and if you treat me as if those things are unimportant, I won't like you. And especially read the damn thing if you're about to talk to me. I answer such basic questions as "where are you?" "are you single?" "what do you do" IN MY PROFILE.
Look, I know we all read a lot of profiles. People start to blur into one another. But before you shout at me, or IM me, please review my profile so you don't sound like an idiot. 'cuz I will think you're an idiot if you're asking me questions that are answered at the very top of my profile.
Speaking of NSFW Photos
I take my NSFW photos for me. For me, myself, and I. If you like them, that's a side benefit, not my goal. I reveal as little or as much as I want to reveal. If you have complaints about what I don't show, much of the internet is porn -- go out and explore. I won't hold it against you. Just don't complain to me, because I will A) not care, and B) think you're an asshole.
No, I will not post full nudes. Because I don't want to. And no, I will never EVER post cunt and tit photos. I don't care if you want them. They aren't my style. I repeat: much of the internet is porn. Go look at someone else. If you can't appreciate the sexiness of the images I choose to show, you aren't worthy of them.
Also, yup, I have NSFW photos. I also have tons of other images posted. Photos I've taken, family photos, art I like, humor I appreciate. I also (obviously) have a long blog full of stuff about me. I'm a sharer. And almost all of what I choose to share is not about my sex life. Sure, some is. My sexuality is a part of who I am -- a part I embrace and enjoy. But it's nowhere near all of who I am. And I despair of those people who choose to view me, and treat me, as a whore because 25 of my 110 photos are NSFW.
Oh, and if I don't really know you, I don't really care if you get off to my pics. So, please, don't share.
Well, what about MY NSFW photos?
Nope, I won't rate and comment your NSFW photos. You won't get points, and my comments will be stupid. I ran out of creative things to say about penises about 100 penises ago. And if you are a stranger to me, I won't care about your NSFW photos. For multiple reasons.
First of all, your pride and joy... I know it's special to you. I know you love, cosset, and enjoy it. But to me... it's a penis. It looks exactly like every other penis. Maybe the size is different. Maybe it's slightly curved, or a different color. But generally, it looks the same. Not only that, but you probably took your photos from exactly the same angle and distance, with exactly the same overexposure from the flash, as the last nine guys who asked me.
Plus, you're a stranger to me. And I do not get attracted visually. I might have some small physical reaction, but I'm a girl, and generally (and I'm generalizing here) women don't care about the physical reactions as much as the emotional and intellectual ones. And quite frankly, I don't care 'til I know you and am attracted to you. Even then, I will probably really only care about your cock when it's in person, and we're naked, and I'm about to get lucky. Before then? Really doesn't help me, now, does it?
Write me some erotica. That'll do it. Visual odes to your pride and joy? Won't. Or, here's a tip (and this isn't just me... I've seen a lot of mums on this topic as well): if you want to share NSFW pics of yourself, take full body shots. Or tease us -- give us open shirt, unzipped pants, and the suggestion of your bulge... maybe give us the arrow of joy leading to your pants, but only a glimpse of said joy. Or, give us face, chest, and groin area when you're turned on... and look turned on. We'll mostly be looking at your face.
Speaking of sex...
No, I don't really want to talk about sex with you. Wanna know why? You are the 4th guy to start talking about sex with me in the last hour, and the 37 millionth in the last year. I'm a woman on the internet, and you are boring me. I'm an intelligent, interesting woman who can discourse on a wide variety of topics. And you are a stranger to me. I'm not attracted to you. I don't care if you're hot -- I'm still not attracted to you because that's not how I work. I'm attracted to people after we've conversed, gotten to know one another, and developed a wonderful conversational and intellectual vibe. Then you can ask me about sex all you want. 'til then, I'm not attracted to you, and talking about sex with you will bore me.
How to talk to me
Before you say anything to someone through the internet, imagine you just met this person at a party, or through a mutual friend. And think, "how would I go about getting to know this person?" For example, the first words out of your mouth should probably not be, "ur so hot. id fuck ya." In real life, that would get you slapped in a lot of cases. So why do it here? We're still people. And no, I'm not taking the internet too seriously. If you can't figure out that there are real people at the end of every conversation, and that talking to that person like the above example is rude... well, I despair. I have nothing else to say.
Getting back to profiles...
Why does your profile have nothing in it? Or, worse yet, the dreaded statement, "ask me?" Do you really have that little to say about yourself? If pressed, couldn't you come up with a personality description, what you do for a living, your interests, likes and dislikes? Then why don't you? So that I have someplace to start with conversation when you start talking to me? Because, no, I don't want to ask you those questions, because I had to ask the last ten guys, and I'm annoyed with it by now.
We all know why you haven't filled out your profile... you didn't feel like it. You're too lazy to do so. Well, here's a good reason to do so. Women who've been around a bit are annoyed by empty profiles. And I'm seriously at the point where I'm going to start denying add requests from people who can't bother to fill out some basic information about themselves.
I'm not even gettin' into the people who can't seem to post photos of themselves. How lame is that?
A few other things
Contests: I think contests are annoying and stupid, and just end up being popularity contests more than anything else. They're all about who can guilt-trip the most friends into voting for them. If forced by guilt to go vote, I may not vote for you. I will vote for whomever I think deserves it. So don't ask me to vote in contests. You won't necessarily like the results. And you will annoy me.
Bulletins: If your bulletin threatens to drop me if I don't read it, I won't read it. Simple as that. Most of the bulletins that make those threats are alerts or whatnot, and I've already seen 10 of them, which means most people have already seen them, and my reposting them is just going to annoy all of the rest of my friends and fans. Honestly, I read bulletins that look personal, and that's it. If you're pimping someone, and I'm bored, I may go be a good pal and rate/comment that person, but in all likelihood I have enough trouble keeping up with my own friends and don't have time for more.
Photo Updates and Blog: I WANT so desperately to be a good friend and keep up with your photos and blogs. And I really do try. But unless I devote about 50% of my day to CherryTap, I can't. So if we're really good friends, and you really want me to see your new photos or a blog entry, point it out to me. Drop me a message or a comment, and I'll take a look. I will want to!
To sum up
I love CherryTap. I love meeting new people. I'm excited every time a new person starts talking with me, and when a really great conversation gets going, I am overjoyed. I love people, and making relationships -- they're really the joy in my life. But there's so much other shit getting in the way of that. *grumble*
So, thank you very much for reading my venting/ranting. Although I doubt most of you made it through this whole thing. Hopefully, someone at least learned something
