Well I was in houston the week after Ike hit, helping to undo the destruction. I have been back for a couple weeks and just am now able to find words to describe everything I saw and experienced.
Things were bad when they got there and were still bad when I left. Ike may not have been as big and as destructive as Katrina, and lets pray nothing ever is again, but it was strong enough to destroy lives, homes gone...literally only the foundations left, lives extinguished, everything people have striven for in their lives erased in the blink of an eye.
This has changed my outlook on life. I have never been one to put faith into objects but after being there, seeing so much damage and so much heartbreak so much sorrow, and at the same time so much hope, determination and love it chokes me up even now.
What I did wasnt very much compared to others but it made a difference, when somone you have never met before hugs you and cries on your shoulder because you gave them some water, thats all just gave the man some water it makes you feel or it made me feel proud of my choice to go and help. Even though my original reason to go down wasnt as unselfish as it should have been, it was by the end of the trip.
Part of me didnt want to leave because there was still more to do, more people that needed help. More starving people to feed, you name it there was more, and even though I was ready to come home to tell my friends and family that I loved them and that I valued them and appreciated them for just being there I wanted to do more. I wanted to help everyone that needed it. I wish nothing but the best for all those I helped and for those I couldn't I want to say I wish I could have done more. And maybe just maybe what I did do will affect you in a way that is positive and helpful to and trials and tribulations you are experienceing because of Ike.
For me I have to say that it was something amazing, as well as depressing. I saw a lot of the darker side of human nature as well as the good. I saw people trying to take advantage of things we were doing, trying to get more than the next person....trying to make a buck off of people truly in need of help. I dont want to remeber that part but I cant forget it because it was part of the experience it was part of what opened my eyes to the things that go on everyday, the things that nobody ever talks about.
The very first time I saw the words "Shoot to Kill" spray painted on a boarded up home I thought it was a crazy Texas thing then somone told me it was a warning to looters. I'm not naive by any means but seeing signs allover town, not just in the hard hit area but in the areas that had virtually no damage at all. Made me think about how desperation can drive man to do low low things. Things that would probably shame anyone else things that maybe they wouldnt do normally. This made me ashamed to be a human, it was the basest thing I had ever thought of.
I'm rambling still, maybe I havent finalized all the feelings and thoughts just yet, maybe I never will. But I do know now what it feels like to be in the middle of a situation that you cant ever prepare for.
I will end this here for now..........
