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Top Ten Rights of a Dominant" 1. A Dom/Domme has the right to absolute honesty from the submissive. 2. A Dom/Domme has the right to as much clear communication as the submissive can give. 3. A Dom/Domme has the right to be told All of the submissives' needs/desires. 4. A Dom/Domme has the right to be told the submissives' secret dreams. 5. A Dom/Domme has the right to be wrong, as long as it doesn't compromise the submissives' safety. (That's how we learn to get better) 6. A Dom/Domme has the right to safety as much as any subbie does. 7. A Dom/Domme has the right to experiment with ideas in a scene negotiation. 8. A Dom/Domme has the right to be silly. 9. A Dom/Domme has the right to call a safe-word. 10. A Dom/Domme has the right to Love the submissive for who they are, not who they wish to be for the Dom/Domme. Report as NSFW (Not Safe For Work) [?] Comment on this post..
The gentle Master A confused sub came before a wise Master who adored her. She felt that to submit to him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should he ever leave her. She hungered for him and needed him, but was ready to walk away in panic. The gentle Master knelt her before him and started a tale of love and devotion. As she looked up at him his arms began to widen and open like a large tree stretches its branches to the sky. At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and his impressive size towered above her like a giant tree. Then he began to speak. I'm here for you, now and always no matter how far time and space takes us. Whether you walk away from me today or you stay and serve me I will not turn from you. I am as patient as time itself; I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself, but I give onto you regardless -- for my love is unconditional. Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you, I am there seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth. If you need my fruit to feed your hunger I will give you all the fruit you need. If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from my fruit will restore it and make it glisten. When you need comfort my leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze. When you need discipline my branches will correct you when the wind blows strong. If you just need my shade to protect you from the sun, my branches will shade and protect you. If you need warmth at night my fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe. If you need a refreshing breeze my leaves will fan you and cool you. You are my gardener. When you submit to me, you tend that which keeps me vibrant and full of life. When you kneel under me and till the soil, you give breath to my roots. When you water me, my sap flows strong through me raising my limping Branches. When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands, you strengthen and humble me with your devotion. Although my life will go on, life would not be the same without you. Your dedication and unconditional care for me keeps me vibrant and nurtures my very core. The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude. Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree gives to her heart all that he can! I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk away from me. . But be assured I will survive. One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there, waiting for you in the same spot to offer you all that I do now. Stay with me and be my gardener. You cannot get lost in me for we are complementary to each other. I am your devotion, and you give meaning to my existence. Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally! As the Master finished his last words the sub cried herself to sleep at his feet. That night, he stood planted there like the Olive tree offering her his unconditional love and protection as she slept. As she would tend to him with her devotion the next day and everyday
Master Z's BLUEPRINT FOR A MASTER INTELLIGENCE Intelligence is the ability to learn the proper way of playing with the toys inherent in the "lifestyle" before using them on another person. The willingness and ability to research and learn about the "lifestyle" itself. How many times have you admitted you didn't have the experience, or know how to use a certain toy? The ability to take the time to learn their partner outside the roles of Domination and submission, to learn her as the person that she is, her likes and dislikes. The ability to learn what pleases his slave and to remember those things. The successful Master should take the time to know the physical as well as the psychological tools of Domination, along with some basic psychological aspects of his slave (knowledge should grow as people change constantly). There is nothing uglier than seeing an ignorant Master trying to use humiliation as a tool of dominance. Humiliation is a difficult tool that requires maturity, intelligence, and skill. How many of you can see yourself in the mirror when it comes to this. ACCEPTANCE Acceptance of self, what is within yourself, what your wants needs and desires are. Acceptance of your limitations and those of your slave. The ability to accept another human being for the person they are, including their shortcomings, and especially to accept your Own. Accepting what being a Master is to the individual and not being ashamed or intimidated by the needs within, but happy in ones own mind set. COMMUNICATION This is the ability to talk and discuss things. It is an integral part of any relationship, but an absolute necessity within a Master/slave relationship. A Master should have the skills to communicate his needs, wants, desires, fears, thoughts, limits, or whatever else comes along. The ability to talk also calls into play the honesty and truthfulness of the Master. Once communication is open, it should remain that way, and will do so provided the Master does not stop communicating honestly. To not communicate is to endanger yourself physically (by not telling your slave your experience and other necessities) and emotionally. COMPASSION The ability to see and at least attempt to understand the emotional aspects of your slave's psyche. To understand and be aware of the multitude of things within reality that can affect a slave physically, emotionally, and mentally. To be able to apply that understanding to the many situations that arise within daily life that may prevent your slave from serving to the best of her abilities. Using compassion wisely to allow you to aid your slave, supporting her during times of stress, shows that you are truly a well rounded Master. One who realizes that a Master and a slave are people too. Without compassion you are not a Master, only a sadist. COURTESY Courtesy is the ability to show proper manners, pleases, and thank you's. To address someone with a respectful tone of voice. A Master should show courtesy to his slave (with the exception of a humiliation scene) and other slaves around him. Just because you are a Master does not give you the right to be rude or cruel. This includes courtesy to your peers. GRACE Elegance in the manner a Master presents himself is an important and desirable personality trait that many slaves say they prefer. The way a Master carries himself, his style of play, no matter how graphic, should still flow with style and grace. His actions should not be overly hesitant, stilted, or confused. If this is lacking as an inherent ability, the Master should be willing to learn and grow in this area. DOMINANCE This is the most important trait in a Master. It is the inherent natural ability to lead. To exert control in a respectful, intelligent and humble manner. The strength of character which allows you to exert the control necessary in a power exchange relationship. The ability to care for another person's entire well being HONESTY Honesty is the ability to speak up, to be open and truthful about what you say. A Master doesn't hide his emotions, fears, limits, fantasies, ideas, and thoughts. A Master doesn't tell his slave what he thinks the slave wants to hear. Honesty is the basis of trust, without it there is no trust. And without trust, there is no true relationship. A successful Master is an honest one, one who does not have to lie or attempt to deceive. One who is truthful when he speaks. Most importantly, a Master is honest about his level of experience; to lie is to endanger the very life of his slave. HUMILITY Humility is the ability to see yourself as fallible. To see yourself as a person, not just a Master. To see that sometimes in reality your needs must be set aside for the better of the relationship. A successful Master knows he will make mistakes, that he is not perfect. A successful Master is always open to learning new things, and should not take an "I know it all attitude". Does it make you any less of a Dominant by learning something from your slave, I think not. This brings into play "bullying" Bullying is using your status as a Master to push around your slave without any thought for her well being. Bullying is a completely selfish action. A Master who consistently bullies His slave will turn the slave away from him and lose the respect of his peers. Bullying shows a lack of humility, and can also mask a poor sense of self-esteem or a possible abusive person using the "lifestyle" to hide his abusive nature. SELF-RESPECT A successful Master values himself, and respects his own limits. A bully does not thrill a slave. A solid sense of self-worth is a necessity for a successful Master. Lack of such, can cause serious damage to the slave's psyche. This, however, does not mean you should act like you are the universe's gift to Domination. PATIENCE A successful Master has patience. The ability to wait for things. This does not mean you have to be lax or soft, but to learn the proper time to push and the proper time not to. It is also the ability to wait for those things which take time to develop and to learn, especially within yourself. To realize that it takes time for a slave to learn all the intricacies of serving you, and having the patience to teach your slave what you prefer. PRIDE Pride is the ability to know your capacities, your own limitations, and realize that you are not only a good person, but also a good Master. Pride is the ability to recognize your own strengths. This does not mean you should be close-minded to new ideas, nor does it mean you should be unaware of your faults, or keep an inflated ego. Pride in your Dominance can be a wonderful experience in and of itself when you share it with your slave. Arrogance, or false pride, is deadly. False pride usually masks insecurities which can be life threatening to the slave. RESPECT A successful Master will show respect at all times, until such time as the slave proves she is unworthy of such respect. A disrespectful Master does not earn the respect of his peers or the slaves around him. By giving respect to others, you earn it for yourself. LOYALTY This is a very important trait in a successful Master. It is the ability to uphold your personal honor and remain true to the agreement between you and your slave should the agreement be one of monogamy, or polyamory. Fickleness is a very unattractive trait in a Master, and dangerous to the emotional well being of the slave who serves him. SERVICE A successful Master serves his slave by and through his domination of her. I know what you're thinking, a Master who serves? By intelligently applying his dominant nature, and meeting the physical and emotional needs of his slave, the successful Master mutually serves the slave. A successful Master remembers that without a slave, there is no such thing as a Master. The successful Master will therefore cherish that gift, and do his best to uphold it and not abuse it. This is the key to an exchange of power relationship. (c) 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 MasterZChicago
To Be A Master Requires Humility A Master is a Ruler, but never a Tyrant. But to rule requires understanding and understanding requires humility. A Master has Pride, but never Arrogance. But pride requires dignity and dignity requires humility. A Master commands Respect, but never Fear. But respect requires serenity and serenity requires humility. A Master employs Strength, but never Force. But strength requires knowledge and knowledge requires humility. A Master criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight and insight requires humility. A Master receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving and giving requires humility. A Master completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing and THIS most of all requires humility. ~ Unknown ~
The RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES of a DOM by LES IS MORE(m) Copyright©1998 The RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES of a DOM Being Dominant/submissive is a state of mind. It is not a sex act, it is not a game, and it is not a role. It is a state of being and is totally asexual (neither male nor female) First and foremost, a Dominant is always a Gentleman or Lady. There is no excuse for being impolite or rude to others. Save this for the submissive that needs and requires this of their Dominant. Second, a Dominant must always be in control. Drugs, even alcohol, are mind and body controlling agents. They affect relationships and most importantly can affect a scene, therefore taking away the control the Dominant MUST have. Third, a Dominant is always honest. To lie is to show you cannot be trusted and a submissive must be able to trust you to respect you. Every submissive knows that not every Dominant is super experienced and will respect you much more if you tell the truth. Be honest with a submissive about your level of experience with others and the submissive. The submissive can even help you to gain experience and is really an enjoyable learning process. Tell the submissive up-front if You do not wish a monogamous relationship. Most submissives understand and even expect this in a Dominant. You may not get "that" submissive but you will not loose her/his respect. Fourth, a Dominant accepts responsibility for all his/her actions. Everyone makes mistakes. Do what is needed to make amends, and correct it. Accept and admit the fact that you messed up. To seek an excuse for something going wrong or hurting someone will cause you to lose respect. Fifth, a Dominant expects but does not demand respect. No Dominant demands strangers to call him/her Master/Mistress. Respect is earned over time. Demanding Master/Mistress on your name means nothing and is a word that when not earned is meaningless and makes you to others appear to be a petty childish fool. Those that know you and respect you will call you Master or Mistress when you earn it, not before. Remember, to other Dominants you are not Their Master/Mistress you are their equal do not DEMAND them too ever call You that. Sixth, a Dominant knows and understands the differences between needs, desires and wants. The submissive may want a 24/7 relationship with an understanding Dominant. The submissive may desire a short relationship with a crude rude person. The submissive may need a stable sharing marriage with children. Duties of a DOM * It is the duty of a Dominant to control his/her emotions. To punish a submissive in anger or to lash out to anyone is abusive. * It is the duty of a Dominant to remember that submission is a gift. To misuse this gift is abusive. When the submissive is not free to take back the gift it is no longer a gift. * It is the duty of a Dominant to watch over and protect all submissives. This does not mean to protect them from finding some other Dominant and to keep them for oneself. * It is the duty of a Dominant to take only a submissive that will match him/her. A submissive that is not into whips should not belong to a Dominant that loves to whip submissives. * It is the Duty of a Dominant to take only the amount of submissives the DOM can properly handle, control, love, comfort and care for. Do not keep a submissive hanging, giving false hopes. Free and release the submissive so the submissive can get along with finding the right Dominant. * It is the duty of a Dominant to watch and monitor the scene carefully and to ensure the submissive is not being harmed either physically or emotionally. At any time the slightest thing can go wrong and the scene is ruined for the submissive and pleasure becomes actual pain. * It is the duty of a Dominant after a scene to ensure the submissive is emotionally stable. During a scene the submissive is filled with hormones. Afterwards the body reduces them and may cause severe depression to the extent of being suicidal. The submissive must be made to understand the depression and or emotional release is normal and expected. Normal emotions will return in hours to a day. Anything longer is a sign of emotional instability in the submissive and must be corrected before doing another scene. (A Dominant can also experience this depression after a high from the scene.) Each reacts differently some stay high for weeks and when they come down seek the scene again to regain the high. This also can lead to problems such as longer, more intense and dangerous scenes, with unknown Dominants. * It is the duty of a Dominant to know and understand what the needs, desires and wants of a submissive are. Failure to do so may harm the submissive emotionally and mentally. Responsibilities of a DOM * It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure an unowned submissive is guided to a Dominant that is suited to the submissive's wants, needs and desires. * It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive knows what being abusive is. To insure this is to insure the submissive knows when to call it quits. * It is the responsibility of a Dominant to ensure the submissive knows what the submissive's rights are. * It is the responsibility of a Dominant to teach the submissive information about the Lifestyle. The best method is to teach the submissive how to acquire this information and where he/she can get it. An ignorant submissive can be an embarrassment to a Dominant. * It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive grows and develops under the Dominant's ownership, in both the lifestyle and the public life (i.e., job and family). Being submissive only means being a "doormat" when the submissive has made it clear that is what the submissive is looking for. Dishonorable Acts * For a Dominant to allow a submissive to be actually harmed in ANY way is dishonorable. * For a Dominant to allow a submissive's rights to be violated is dishonorable. * For a Dominant to play with and discard a submissive just for amusement is dishonorable (exception is a submissive that has declared this is the treatment they need). * Unless the submissive has declared them selves to be unowned, another Dominant's interference in a relationship is dishonorable. * To chase after or scene with Another's submissive without the other Dominant's permission and full knowledge is dishonorable. No Dominant can be expected to live up to the above 100% of the time, others will respect him/her for trying and the harder she/he tries the more respect all will have for the Dominant and his/hers. Written by: LES IS MORE(m)
Dominant's Creed Author Unknown Above all else a Dom/me cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all.A Dom/me is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to Them, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.A Dom/me is in control of Themselves first and foremost, so that They may control others.As a stern and demanding Dom/me, They can cause Their submissive to cry real tears.As the consummate lover, They will then kiss the tears away, without stepping out of character. In times of trouble, a Dom/me will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.A Dom/me is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality. A Dom/me would never ask a submissive to put Them before their career, or family, just to satisfy Their own pleasure.To win a submissive's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, a Dom/me knows They must first win their trust.A Dom/me will show Their submissive humor, kindness, and warmth. A Dom/me must always show them that Their guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of their attention, that this is a person they can learn from, and that they can trust Their direction.A Dom/me is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, They will fight for Their submissive's honor.A Dom/me proves to their submissive that They are someone they can lean on, and depend on.When it comes time to teach Their submissive their lessons of obedience, They are a strong and unyielding professor.A Dom/me will accept no flaw. Nothing less than perfection from Their student.Never does a Dom/me use discipline without a good reason. When They do punish Their submissive, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand. A Dom/me is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear Their submissive's wants and needs.A Dom/me is patient; taking time to learn Their submissive's limits, and knowing that as their trust of Them grows, so will they. A Dom/me never has to demand ritual behavior from Their submissive. Their submissive responds to Them out of the want of pleasing Them. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. A Dom/me understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Them. A Dom/me is secure enough to laugh at Themselves and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.A Dom/me's tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, and love. A Dom/me understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other.And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.
10 Qualities That Make A Good Mistress by Lapp Topp Here are some qualities I think are found in a good Mistress. 1. Control. Above all, a good Mistress is always in control of herself. She does not rant or rave, and never punishes when angry. On the rare times that temper overwhelms her, she walks away until she regains balance. After all, how can a Domme control her sub if she can't control herself? 2. Creative. A good Dominant puts time, energy and creativity in her scenes. She is not satisfied playing the same games over and over, and goes the extra length to come up with new and different ideas. 3. Human. The best Mistress knows she is human. She realizes she will make mistakes, and is quick to apologize when she does. She knows she won't be thought of as any less "Dommly" because of an apology. On the flip side, she realizes that others will make mistakes also, and even though she may punish for the mistake, she accepts an apology graciously and puts the event in the past. 4. Compassionate. A good Mistress is compassionate. She cares about her sub(s), friends and family. She takes time to listen and respond to the needs of others. She isn't selfish and doesn't have the illusion that the world revolves around her. 5. Technique. A good Domme works on her play technique. She knows how to use her toys and practices frequently. She reads the latest books and talks to others in the scene. An effective Mistress tests her toys on herself before she uses them on her sub. 6. Consistent. The best FemmeDom is consistent in her instructions and requests. She doesn't give her sub conflicting commands. She delivers equal punishment for equal offenses, and equal rewards when pleased. She is firm in her direction and does not waiver when faced with a difficult situation. 7. Thorough. An effective Dominant is thorough. She directs a scene from start to finish to better allow her sub to achieve headspace. She takes away all distractions and decisions...telling her sub what position she desires, what needs she wants fulfilled, and how this is best accomplished. 8. Respectful. A good Mistress respects herself and others. She strives to always project herself in the best possible light, and expects the same from her submissives. She is well-groomed, and takes pride in her looks. She takes good care of her toys and equipment. 9. Safe. A Domme worth playing with is safe. She is aware of the damage she can cause a submissive and does her best to prevent harm. She knows first-aid and attends classes periodically to keep herself updated. 10. Communication. A good Domme is an effective communicator. She says what she means, and means what she says. She is specific and chooses her words carefully. She doesn't rant, nag or whine because she knows this shows a lack of control. She states instructions in a clear, easy-to-understand manner. K, da switch copyright©1997
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