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Crimsonlpn's blog: "First blog"

created on 02/25/2020  |  http://fubar.com/first-blog/b371773

Where do I start? What do I do? Our weekend together was amazing and so comfortable, well after the first few hours. I was so nervous I wouldnt be what you thought or wanted. I bought special clothes for that first time you would see me. I wanted to feel so pretty but still was still aprehensive. You have never made me feel that way but it's inside me. I melted when I looked into your eyes the first time. I wanted to kiss you so badly... but was too afraid to make that first move. Then you didn't either and I got even more nervous. The thoughts running through my head made me feel so scared. All I kept thinking was "He's not into me... He's not attracted to me." That night... you showed me I was wrong. 

We had so much fun together. We laughed and talked and got to know more about each other. I would wake in the middle of the night and just look at you, watching you sleep. Wanting the night not to end but wanting you to wake and hold me. You would wake and move closer to me after I had dozed back off to sleep. I would wake feeling your arm around me. I never wanted the nights to end. 

That first time you took my hand in yours, I melted. When you placed your hand on my back and opened the door for me, my fires ignited. Could you tell what you were doing to me? I tried to look into your eyes and show you, but I dont know if you saw. I would look into your eyes and stare until you caught me, then I would smile and act like I had just looked up. Did you know? Could you tell? I felt my heart filling and wasn't sure what to do... I still don't.

Saturday, I started falling more in love with you. I know it's soon and not sure what you are feeling but I cant stop it. Everytime you looked at me when you were singing  made my heart grow more. You have no idea how much those two hours meant to me. 

I'm falling in love with you and don't know how to tell you. I know there are things going on that make this hard, but I am willing to wait. I just need to know if you are feeling the same way. How do I ask? And when I can, how do I deal with it if you don't? 


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