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AbbyNormal's blog: "Everything"

created on 01/14/2008  |  http://fubar.com/everything/b178216
So, not too many people on here know about my dad. Actually, very few. Any who, if you know me at all, you know I hold nothing back. I tell it like it is and I'm not afraid to share my personal information with the public. I have nothing to be ashamed of. On that note, I want to elaborate a little on my sperm donor. My dad is a very bad diabetic who doesn't watch what he eats, half of the time forgets his insulin, drinks entirely too much pop (soda for you west coasters), etc. He bounces in and out of the hospital all of the time with no care in the world. Well yesterday around 9am I get a call from my mom saying that my dad called her and he's really sick. Ok, what the hell do you want me to do about it? I'm still at work! (I get off around 9:15 or so, so it wasn't long until I was leaving.) I called my dad and asked him what was wrong and his blood sugar was up over 400, he hadn't eaten in 2 days and couldn't keep anything in his stomach, not even liquids. At this point, he has to go to the hospital, I know that, but being that I had JUST got off of work, had only 2 hours of sleep and hadn't eaten anything in almost 24 hours, I was cranky and tired and hungry. Does anyone care? Nope. I get the luxury of going to my dad's to rescue him while his "girlfriend" stays at home and sleeps. Lovely. This wasn't the worst of it. When I get there, he's very weak and can barely dress himself, so I gotta do that for him. He can't stand up, so I gotta help him walk. I probably should have called an ambulance and let them take him, but oh well, too late now I guess. Thennnnnn he made me mad cause he lives like 4 blocks from a hospital, but would he go there? Nope. He wanted to go to the one that was 15 miles away. I took him in his car, so his gas and everything, but still. So we get there and he's about to pass out so I go inside and get a nurse and a wheelchair to get him in and they take him back right away and all well then the twat of a male nurse that was in there was making me mad. They wanted to put an IV into my dad but couldn't because he had a temp. of 101.7 degrees and he kept tensing up. Would they get him a blanket? Hell no. The nurse is almost yelling at my dad to relax.. well damn, if you're laying there about to pass out and freezing at the same time, aren't you gonna tense up? I would. I asked the nurse to get him a blanket so he could warm up a little bit and the nurse told me no. Excuse me, oh no, that crap don't fly with me. So I went and found the person in charge (can't think of the direct name for them at this point) and I reamed him a new ass. Needless to say, he got a blanket and then he was able to relax. So by this point, it's like almost 12 noon and I gotta leave cause I gotta go to work. I told my dad this and he's like "ok bye". Not one f'ing thank you, not an I love you, nothing. I go down and rescue him and don't even get a thank you? That's BULLSH!T!! This man has done nothing but cause me pain all of my life. I think I have another blog on him somewhere around here. *looks through blogs*. I don't know, anyways, I bust my ass to try and do everything I can to keep him from dying and he doesn't appreciate it. I'm tired of being used. He's slowly killing himself and there's gonna become a time when I just can't be there. Then what's he gonna do? His girlfriend don't really care, my mom says that he's not her responsibility, and all of his other family either lives far away or he doesn't talk to, so who does that leave? Me. I'm not gonna be around forever. Hopefully in the next few months to a year I can find a place other than Western PA to live. I hate this place. Then he's screwed. So, I've realized that really none of this pertains to the title of this blog. In order to make this blog make sense, let me explain. My dad has never been a father to me. He cheated on my mom since day one of their marriage, and he left us when I was about 4. His girlfriend was always more important than I was. He never had time for me. When I got old enough to realize what he was doing (around 12 years old or so), I wrote him off completely. I talked to him as little as possible, didn't see him for months and months at a time, etc. He was always making me promises that he had no intention of keeping, and even as of recent, for my birthday, he did it again. He promised me that for my 21st birthday he would get me a tattoo that I really wanted. It was going to cost around $100, which isn't TOO bad. Well, 2 days before my birthday he calls me and says "I can't come up with the money, I bought concern tickets for me and Martie". Martie is his girlfriend, if you didn't figure that out. Needless to say, I was BEYOND pissed off. He promised me for months and months that he would get it, and 2 days before he bailed. So, why do I still help him do you ask? I couldn't tell you. He's nothing more to me than a sperm donor. I do not love him. Although, when he dies (which I'm sure will be soon with how things are going), I'm going to be upset. I couldn't tell you why though. How can you be upset at something you don't care about? Obviously deep down I do care a little bit, but eh, I don't know. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who has had a no-good father, but it does hurt. All in all I guess I just have to sit and watch my.. umm.. father.. kill himself. He knows what he's doing and like I said before, he doesn't care. He doesn't care who he hurts. He doesn't care who he leaves behind. I guess you could call me the pot (the pot calling the kettle black). I've said stuff in the past to which I didn't care, but my situation is a bit different, in a way. It's not right of me to do, I'm aware of that. Maybe I'm just losing my mind...........
So, today is the ever awaited Pittsburgh/Dallas game. I'm more than excited. This is a very serious game for me, as I have $150 bet on this game. I must say that I REALLY HATE Dallas. I'm more or less writing this because I was talking to a friend of mine earlier, who happens to be a die hard Dallas fan, and he told me to "tread lightly". So, in order not to piss him off, or at least not as bad, I'm going to blog my thoughts. This person and I were talking about Homo, I mean Romo, and so many thoughts came to mind. As most of you know, or should know, or will know, he has a broken finger. Wanna know how he got it? From sticking it up T.O.'s ass. Kind of sad, really. Ok, I'm kidding, but to say he got hurt during play? Not a chance. He sucks. I saw a couple shirts today online that I really want. One says "Dallas sucks. T.O. swallows". The other one said "I have two favorite teams. The Steelers and whoever beats the Cowboys". Yes, I will get those shirts. =] If the particular person who I talked to earlier happens to read this, no hard feelings. I have a lot of friends who are Dallas fans and we all know the Steelers are gonna win, so it's all good. =]
Be honest no matter what! [ZERO] Who was your last text from? My friend Jason [ONE] Where was your default pic taken? in the same place I am right now [TWO] Do you love the last person you kissed? Yes.. my momma! [THREE] Your relationship status? ummmmmmmm [FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend? yes [FIVE]What is your current mood? tired [SIX] What's your brother's name? don't have any siblings [SEVEN ] What's your favorite color(s)? PINK [EIGHT] Where do you wish you were right now? Chicago [NINE] Have you ever been in trouble with the cops? A couple times, nothing big though. [TEN] Ever had a near death experience? yup [ELEVEN] Something you do a lot? b!tch lmao [TWELVE] Angry at anyone? eh, not really [THIRTEEN] What's stopping you from going for the one you love? don't have the money to go.. :( [FOURTEEN] When was the last time you cried? couple days ago [FIFTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for??? yes. are you one of them? probably not. [SIXTEEN] What do you think about when you are falling asleep? stuff [SEVENTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? On the phone now with John [EIGHTEEN] What is your favorite song? I have way too many [NINETEEN] What are you doing right now? phone..this.. [TWENTY] Who do you trust right now? a few people [TWENTY-ONE] Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? the store? I dunno. [TWENTY-TWO] Who did you hold hands with last? Nikki [TWENTY-THREE] What are your lucky numbers? 4 TWENTY- FOUR] Who is your friend that is closest to you? I have a couple TWENTY-FIVE]Describe your life in one word: fascinating [TWENTY- SIX] Have you ever kissed in the rain? Yes [TWENTY-SEVEN] Who are you thinking of right now? is it really any of your concern? [TWENTY-EIGHT] What should you be doing right now? sleeping TWENTY-NINE] What did you do yesterday? worked [THIRTY] What are you listening to? John complain about a site lmao [THIRTY-ONE] Who was the last person you hugged? Nikki [THIRTY- TWO] What do you dislike at this moment? My bum. It hurts. :( [THIRTY-THREE] Do you act differently around the person you like? Not at all. [THIRTY-FOUR] What is your natural hair color? Dark brown [THIRTY- FIVE] Who was the last person to make you laugh? John
This is everything I had to drink last night: 25 shots of Washington Apples 5 shots of Wet Pu$$y (it's a shot, look it up) 1 Pina Colada 2 Strawberry Daiquiris 2 Miller Light 6 Rolling Rocks Do you even realize how much booze that is? And the bartender was making mine extra strong because it was my birthday, lmao.
So, let me first start out by saying this statement: "Friends are people that you help when they are in need." Is this a true statement? I've been inclined to believe this. I have friends, people that I consider true friends, that I would do anything in my power for, and I know they would do the same for me. Those are the people that I can confide in when I need it. Those are the people who I know I can trust with personal information and my secrets. Those are also the people who I have the most respect for. Out of these people who I consider friends, 99% of the time, and whoever knows me know this, all that I usually ask for in return is respect. Is that too much to ask? Occasionally I do ask for help, but only if I really need it. On the occasion that I do ask for help (and usually it's very small, especially on Fubar), I more or less do expect it. Is that wrong of me? I don't think it is. Ok, so I rambled on a bit, but let me give a bit of background information on this subject. There was a girl on Fubar who I did consider to be a good friend of mine. Her and I talked all the time, I helped her when she needed it, never asked for anything in return. Now, the ONE time that I ask her for ANYTHING, which in this case is fubucks for me to get spotlight, she can't do it? She said that if I blinged her, she would pay me in fubucks. If I bought her a VIP when hers ran out, she would pay me in fubucks. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing things like that for people at all, when I have the money, but to automatically assume that I'm obligated to do that? It's crazy. I was the one who leveled her from pretty much level 10 to level 21. I helped her boyfriend level. Over HALF of the bling she has came from me, and only because I wanted to, not because I wanted something in return. I was the one who listened to her for WEEKS when her boyfriend was treating her like crap, and all the time I never asked for anything. So, why is it all of the sudden when I actually do ask for a little help, I'm obligated to buy her stuff? Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. Well, I guess it's not even the worst part that she expected that from me, but when I said something to her, and I TRIED to be as nice as possible, she flips out and says "if your gonna be a bitch I'm just gonna block you". How am I being a bitch? Someone please tell me that. I just don't understand. I'm going to post the conversation so that I'm not made out to be a liar, I also do have screen shots so that she can't come back and tell me that I made stuff up. (remember to read from the bottom to the top. keep in mind that after she said she would block me, she did. I tried to reply back only to find out that I was blocked, so now she is. I'm not dealing with the fu-bs.) **BABY LET...: if your going to be a bitch to me for no reason then i will block you...i have never tryed to screw you over but what ever ->**BABY LET...: yeah, nothing but try to screw me over **BABY LET...: dont get mad at me i didnt do anything to you... ->**BABY LET...: anytime you need leveled, I'm there. I've made you how much shit, I've blinged you how many times? ->**BABY LET...: yeah really I have, but ok **BABY LET...: you have not helped me as much as you think you have... ->**BABY LET...: and I sent 6 credits.. so thats 60k, not 44k ->**BABY LET...: and as far as that goes, with as many times as I've helped you out in the past, I don't think I should have to pay for your fubucks, b ut whatever **BABY LET...: i sent you 44,000 fubucks ->**BABY LET...: and I thought you were giving 10k per 1 bling credit? **BABY LET...: what did you say before sometime this week? ->**BABY LET...: huh? **BABY LET...: what did you say? ->**BABY LET...: this week sometime ->**BABY LET...: and I thought you were giving 10k per 1 bling credit? **BABY LET...: ok when will that be? ->**BABY LET...: ok thats fine but he'll have to wait for bling until I get more again **BABY LET...: i will make zi get on here after he gets off work today and add you kk... **BABY LET...: ok ->**BABY LET...: ok, they are sent ->**BABY LET...: ok **BABY LET...: yeah ->**BABY LET...: for your mom and the lava lamp for you? **BABY LET...: Funky Monkey ->**BABY LET...: which one **BABY LET...: yeah thats cool ->**BABY LET...: how do you want the bling split up.. 5 for you, 1 for your mom, or 3 for your mom and 3 for Zi? **BABY LET...: yeah my mom is in my fam list ->**BABY LET...: I have 6 credits left. I can send her 1 and you a lavala lamp, or I can send her a 3 credit and save 3 credits for Zi, but since he wont add me, I'm not waiting forever ->**BABY LET...: is your mom in your fam list? ->**BABY LET...: uhh there is one in 15 minutes I think **BABY LET...: lilmonkey@ fubar **BABY LET...: kk when will there be a hh? ->**BABY LET...: I only send it during HH, but you can link me to her **BABY LET...: you can send bling to my mom if you want... Maybe I shouldn't even let this bother me, because after all, it is only a website, but friendship is not something that I take lightly. I find it very hard to trust people, and when I do find people who I can trust, I try my hardest to keep them happy, even if that means that I'm not happy. So, am I right?

Ok, so most of you know that I do not believe in God. Please, if you didn't know that, do not preach to me. I have my own beliefs, if that's what you want to call it. No, I do not worship Satan either. Anyways, whether you're a Christian or not, or whatever religion you may be, please take the time to look at these videos. *NOTE* I am in NO way trying to change anyone's thoughts. Your opinion is simply that, yours. Mine is mine. I just thought I'd share. Just some interesting stuff to think about. :)

So, it has been brought to my attention that there are only 69 more days until Christmas. Woo f'ing hoo. Bah humbug. All of the holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc.. they're all just another day of the year for me anymore. I couldn't care less about them. It seems like something bad always happens between October-December that doesn't permit me to have a Christmas. This year is going to suck even more because it's the first Christmas in a few years without Kyle. I don't even remember what it feels like to have a REAL Christmas. For the last however many years that I can remember, I haven't really had a Christmas. Granted, Christmas isn't about presents, but when you're a kid and hardly get anything, it hurts. I've dealt with this for many, many years now. So why is it bothering me now so much? I don't know. I guess I should be used to it by now. As for the whole Kyle thing.. him and I got together right before Christmas '05, so Christmas is something that I'm NOT looking forward to this year. It's just a reminder of what has already happened, and what never will. I don't even know why I'm writing this. To vent? Probably. In hopes that someone cares? Maybe, although I'm sure not too many people do, but hey, that's ok.

I watched this a while ago and I found it to be very interesting. A lot of people don't agree with it, but everything that is stated makes perfect sense. What do you think?


:(

So, tomorrow (8-8-08) was SUPPOSED to be my wedding day. :( For those that don't know, my fiance and I broke up at the end of June. I talked to him off and on for about 2-2 1/2 weeks after the break up, then I caught him in a lie, called him out on it, and he refuses to talk to me now. It's very upsetting, but with the help of my wonderful family and friends (in RL and on Fu) I'm starting to get over it. I'm sure that it's going to hurt for a while, but it really is for the better. All of the crap that he put me through, if I'd have stayed with him, and even married him, I'd have probably killed him. I will always love you! I'm more or less writing this blog just to vent. Last night as I was on the phone with one of my best friends, he mentioned that the Olympics started Friday on 8-8-08, and that's when I realized what ELSE was supposed to happen. I couldn't help but to just break down and cry. He talked to me for hours and helped me improve my mood a little bit. I'm sure that for the next few days I'm going to be in a very depressed state of mind, but rest assure, I'll be ok. I just have to think of how much worse the relationship could have gotten if I'd have stayed with him. On a happier note, the first Steelers game is tomorrow! Yay! It's only an exhibition game, but when it's Steeler season, it's the happiest time of the year!! LET'S GO STEELERS! Photobucket

Photobucket I can't even say enough thanks to everyone, past and present, who has helped me to Godmother! A special thank you to Freak and Mikey, who were determined to level me, one way or another. To everyone who has helped me, thank you. I'm not going to sit here and name everyone, but you know who you are. I'm trying to pay back the love that was given to me, so please bear with me. If I miss you, it's not intentional and please send me a message and I'll get to you as soon as possible. Again, thank you!!! Much Love From: Abby♥Normal

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