syn's blog: "Dumb Laws"

• Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street. • Bernards Township: It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone". • Caldwell: You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue. • Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday. • Cranford: Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn. • Cresskill: All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts. • Elizabeth: It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat. • If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates. • In Berkley Heights you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday. • In Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 p.m. • In New Jersey it is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon. • In New Jersey, it is illegal to slurp soup. • It's illegal in New Jersey for parents to give their children under the age of 18 even a sip of alcohol. • It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season. • It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer. • It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon. • It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the local zoo. • It's also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street. • Lovers in Liberty Corner should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term. • Manville: It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo. • Newark: It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor. • Ocean City: People may not slurp their soup. Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday. Raw hamburger may not be sold. • On a highway you can not park under a bridge. • Raritan: Profanity is prohibited. • Raw hamburger may not be sold. • Sea Isle City: There will be no boiling of bones on the property. • There is no horse racing allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike. • Trenton: You may not throw a bad pickle in the street. Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays. • Unless you have a doctor's note, it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6 PM in Newark, New Jersey. • You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only. • You may not slurp your soup.

• Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces. • If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''. • In New Hampshire it is illegal to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria. • In New Hampshire you are prohibited from pawning the clothes off your back to pay off gambling debts. • It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name. • It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach. • New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe. • On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. • White Mountain Nat. Forest: If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''. • You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt. • You may not run machinery on Sundays.

• A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. • Clark County: An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time. • Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask. • Eureka: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women. • In Eureka, Nevada men who have mustaches are forbidden from kissing women. • In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures. • In Las Vegas you can bet on any team--except The University of Nevada at Las Vegas. • In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal. • In Nevada until the 1960s it was illegal to sell liquor at religious camp meetings, within a half-mile of the state prison, in the State Capitol Building or to imbeciles. • In Reno, Nevada staging a marathon dance is illegal, although posting a notice on a fire hydrant about illegal dance marathons is not. • In the old days in Nevada a man caught beating his wife was tied to a stake for eight hours a day with a sign that read, "Wife Beater" fastened to his chest. • It's illegal in Nevada to have a "house of ill fame" within 400 yards of a church or school. • It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. • It is illegal in Reno, Nevada to conceal a spray-painted shopping cart in your basement. • It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. • Nyala: A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. • Saloonkeepers had to post the names of habitual drunkards if so requested by the local sheriff or members of the imbibers' immediate families.

• A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest. • A parent can be arrested if her/his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service. • Barbers are forbidden by law from shaving a man's chest in Omaha, Nebraska. • If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested. • In the fine state of Nebraska, it is not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing. • It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. • It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup. • It is Illegal to go whale fishing. • It is illegal to sleep naked in a hotel/ motel room. • Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold • Omaha: Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service. • The owner of every hotel in Hastings is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts. • Waterloo: Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.

• It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail. • It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. • In Billings, Montana it is illegal for employees of the city's communications center to program their phones with speed dial. • Balls may not be thrown within the city limits. • It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime in Montana. • Bozeman has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude. • Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. • It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all. • It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime. • It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail. • It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. • Excelsior Springs: Balls may not be thrown within the city limits. • Helena: No item may be thrown across a street. • Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing. • Salisbury: Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground. • Whitehall: It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. • Montana just legalized the production of caviar.

• Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri. • Buckner: In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday. • Children can buy shotguns in Kansas City, Missouri... but not toy cap guns. • Excelsior Springs: Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. Worrying squirrels is not tolerated. • Four women may not rent an apartment together. • Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. • In Ballwin, Mo., the only place you can use vulgar, obscene or indecent language is in your home. • In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." • In Springfield, door to door salesman are prohibited from selling their goods while standing in the middle of the road, screaming at passing vehicles. • In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. • In St. Louis, a law on the books makes it illegal to park your car without turning off the engine. This was to avoid scaring horses. • It is illegal to have oral sex. • It is not illegal to speed. • It's illegal to sit on any street curb in St. Louis, Missouri, and drink beer from a bucket. • Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited. • Marceline: Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters. • Marquette: It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law). • Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters. • Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however. • Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law. • Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. • Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited. • St. Louis: It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets. A milk man may not run while on duty. • University City: Four women may not rent an apartment together.

• Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison. • Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging. • Columbus: The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it. • Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road. • In Brandon, Mississipi it is illegal to attempt to stop someone from walking down the sidewalk by parking a motorhome in their path. • In Temperance, MS, you can't walk a dog without dressing it in diapers. • In Oxford, Miss., it's illegal to "create unnecessary noises." • It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public. • It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session. • Oxford: It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session. One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square. Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited. Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses. • Tylertown: It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street. • Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000. • Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000. • Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine.

• A Blue Earth, Minnesota, law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless monitored by a parent. • A Minnesota tax form is quite thorough. Some would say too thorough. It even asks for your date of death. • A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. • A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. • All bathtubs must have feet. • All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts. • Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony. • Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. • Clawson: There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. • Every man in Brainerd, Minnesota is required by law to grow a beard. • Grand Haven: No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense. • Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays. • Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. • Hibbing: It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat. • In Duluth, Minnesota it is illegal to allow animals to sleep in a bakery. • In Minnesota, it's illegal to tease skunks. (As if being sprayed weren't enough of a deterrent.) • It is illegal to sleep naked. • It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house. • It used to be legal in Minnesota to sell rolled candy on Sunday, and illegal to sell flat candy. The wafer people have gotten this one repealed. • Minneapolis: Red cars can not drive down Lake Street • Minnesota has repealed its so-called "Twinkie" law, under which a Minneapolis City Council candidate was indicted for dispensing $34 worth of Twinkies, Ho-Hos, cookies, Kool-Aid and coffee to some senior citizens. • Minnesotans are forbade from teasing skunks. • No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. • Oral sex is prohibited. • Public intoxication is a crime in Pennsylvania but specifically not a crime in Minnesota. • Rochester: All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. Smoking while in bed is illegal. • St. Cloud: Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays. • There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office. • Virginia: You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street. • Wayland: Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day. • You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan. Kalamazoo: It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

• A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband. • A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. • Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony. • In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. • In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. • In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub. • In Rochester, Michigan, anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer. • It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house. • It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit. • It's illegal in Michigan for a person under the age of 21 to give a gift of alcohol beverage to anyone, even to a person of legal age. • Permitting diners to take home an unfinished bottle of alcohol beverage, rather than consuming it all before leaving to prevent "waste," encourages moderation and discourages intoxication. However, this is prohibited in Michigan. • Smoking while in bed is illegal. • The use of the names of dead presidents to sell alcohol in Michigan is prohibited. • Under an 1889 law, the health officer of East Jordan, Mich., could send any nonresident with an infectious disease back to where he came from, as long as the person could travel. If not, the officer could rent a house for use as a pest house.

• A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City. • A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. • Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal. • Alcoholic drink specials are illegal. • All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. • An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. • At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. • Boston: It is illegal to play the fiddle. Two people may not kiss in front of a church. No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city. No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears. Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except o Sundays. It is illegal to eat peanuts in church. An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday. Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present. Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common. No one may take a bath without a prescription. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs. • Both Massachusetts and New Hampshire had old laws that penalized gamblers who lost money. You'd get fined in Massachusetts if you had any money left. • Bullets may not be used as currency. • Burlington: You may not walk around with a "drink". • Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday. • Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes. • Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine. • Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited. • Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society. • Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited. • Hunting on Sundays is prohibited. • Holyoke, Massachusetts, makes it unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining. • In a law that predates returnable bottles and cans, it's illegal in Boston to rummage through rubbish containers. • In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas. • In Boston it's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. It's also against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole. • In Boston, it's illegal to cut firewood in the street, or shoot a bow and arrow in the street. • In Boston it's against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you're overstocked, you need a permit to move the stuff. And you can't leave it in the street. • In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician. • In Massachusetts, it is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies. • In Massachusetts you must have a license to wear a goatee. • In Massachusetts, if you get caught eating peanuts in church , you can be jailed for up to one year. • In Provincetown, Mass., it's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday. • In Salem, Massachesetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples. • It is illegal to frighten a pigeon. • It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. • It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder. • It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost. • It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines. • It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine • It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building. • It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. • It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. • It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. • It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. • Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green. • Marlboro: It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun. Silly string is illegal in the city limits. One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs. • Massachusetts law declares that peanuts may not be eaten in court. • Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders. • Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden. • Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches. • Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor. • No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. • North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns. • Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden. • Public boxing matches are outlawed. • Quakers and witches are banned. • Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. • Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets. • Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. • Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts. • There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April. • Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder. • Under an old law in Marblehead, Mass., it was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary. • Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand. • You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish. • You may not curse inside the city limits. • You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.