BabyOutlaw's blog: "Dear Diary"

I just can't seem to get to sleep at night anymore this is driving me and Randy completely bonkers. He is always waking up getting mad at me cause i stayed up all night watching tv again, this morning he didn't even say goodbye to me he mumbled some crude comment under his breath and then walked out the door, if he is gonna be like that i won't tolorate it i will not hesitate to walk out that door. He doesn't scare me but when he mocks stuff like that under his breath all the time when he thinks that i dont hear him, it hurts like hell i figure if you have friggin something to say , friggin say it to my face not behind my back when you think i won't hear you. I'm a woman I just say i can't hear you when half of the time i can its called "SELECTIVE HEARING" I just can't take bashes like that from someone i'm dating it reminds me too much of my ex and i just will NOT tollorate it at all, and i have told him that hurts my feelings but no he goes off on this kick of your just young you don't know anything kick. just because he is 40 don't mean horse crap to me. I damn sure know i have seen and done more things than what he thinks. sorry guys i'm just really pissed off at this point haven't had much sleep cause i'm stressing out and i know that i'm not supposed to be stressing out, but when he does stuff like that it just makes the stress worse. He and I have only been in one fight and that was it, nothing more cause nether one of us like to argue so i guess there is our problem we bottle things up and then it just blows sooner or later? I love him with all my heart but i don't want any emotional abuse and i do not know how to tell him this with out him always taking it the wrong way? ggggggrrrrrrrrr I'm so frustrated at this point i could spit, but i don't spit so i can't do that. I just don't want to sit there at night and toss and turn when i'm laying wide awake and my body won't shut down and end up keeping him awake when i know he has to work early so i get up and go to the livingroom, or come into the computer room and play solitare for a while till my eyes start drooping then i know i will pass out LOL. just my bodies way of telling me ok time for sleep now. well He gets so upset when he gets up for work and i'm awake well hells bells what the heck am i supposed to do here? i'm at a loss...

well due to the munchkin that i baby sit the other day when she thought that it would be funny to throw my cellphone in the toliet, i had to go buy a new phone today. Went and got that movida phone servise, well they totally screwed up my voice mail and then i understand a little spanish but hell all the directions were in spanish LMAO just word of warning to all of you that want cellphone servise with that company hope you can speak spanish? LOL... Other than that after this Thursday i will have 1 more week to go on the baby YIPPY SKIPPY... I can't wait to finally hold my baby in my arms and feed her change her everything its making me more and more ancious everyday i just can't wait

thinking that maybe i shouldn't of eattin so much food for dinner now i feel all blahhhhh and i don't want to do anything i feel like a mack truck hit me guess i'm going to bed early tonight, the baby has the hiccups out the yingyang and keeps tossing and turning making my stomach do flip flops so its making me sick to my stomach so i think that i'm gonna lay down and go to bed night fellow CT's and Blog freaks

Well i ended up not babysitting tonight so me and my Honey Randy and I went and hung out with the Outlaws tonight, I had a blast as I always do with the outlaws. Everyone kept asking me when am I gonna have this baby, well 2 more weeks if everyone really wants to know. I can't wait scared to death but i think that i will do just fine, no need for me to worry i guess?

Well dr said 2 more weeks till the baby gets here YIPPY, thank goodness cause i'm honestly sick of being pregnant. HAHA. well today is gonna be slow till Diana gets here then just sit and watch cartoons more than likely Cause i don't have any toys for her to play with here mom keeps forgetting to bring her toys over, even though i remind her all the time. Randy is off doing laundry, yea i know the man doing the laundry so he doesn't ever let me do it, believe me I have asked before and he still says no, well i guess that is enough bloggin for me today, we went and saw ghost rider last night... VERY RECOMMENDED TO GO SEE in my books, well until tomorrow fellow cherries, and fellow blog freaks... NIGHT

I have had time today to really sit down and mess with CherryTap so i'm slowly figuring this site out it may take me a while so any advice would be helpful. Other than that I just got back from registaring at the hospital for when i go into have the baby in 3 weeks. I can't wait. Tonight i'm not babysitting so i don't know what i'm gonna do yet, normally i go to karaoke but i just feel karaoked out LOL, well I guess that is enough blogging for me today, just word of warning i'm a blogging freak so that is just a warning sometimes you may get on here and i might have come close to writing a novel LOL... HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE OH THANKS SHELL FOR SHOWING ME HOW TO DO THINGS ON CHERRYTAP added song to profile LMAO

finally tommorrow is payday thank goodness have the home phone bill to go pay and that is about it then clean up the house after divina comes and picks up her daughter that i baby sit sometimes during the week And always on the weekends. Randy bought me a JEFF GORDON t-shirt yestday, my first one YIPPY... yeah i know call me goofy ask me if i care, well 20 more days till i have my baby i can't wait for that ether well time for bed cause its 2:53am here...

well finally think i have figured cherry tap out it took me a while but i think i finally figured it out. well its 2:16am and i can't sleep.In 3 weeks im having my baby, found out today that we are having a girl, thank goodness we bought nothing but nutural colors on clothes ect.. i will blog more again later.