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Totti's blog: "DarkSide"

created on 08/22/2007  |  http://fubar.com/darkside/b118757
Date: Mar 19, 2008 11:28 PM


I thought this was really good and wanted to share it with you all.



(both men & women, sons & daughters - need to read this)

BEING A MOTHER...

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to
take another woman out to dinner and a movie.



She
said, ’I love you, but I know this other woman loves
you and would love to spend some time with you.




* * *
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit
was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years,
but the demands of my work and my three children had
made it possible to visit her only occasionally.




* * *
That night I called to invite her to go out for
dinner and a movie.




* * *
’What’s wrong, aren’t you well,’ she asked?
* * *
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a
late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign
of bad news.




* * *
’I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some
time with you,’ I responded. ’Just the two of us.




She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
’I would like that very much.




* * *
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick
her up I was a bit nervous.



When I arrived at her
house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous
about our date.



She waited in the door with her coat
on.



She had curled her hair and was wearing the
dress that she had worn to celebrate her last
wedding anniversary.




* * *
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
angels.



’I told my friends that I was going to go
out with my son, and they were impressed,’ she said,
as she got into the car.



’They can’t wait to hear
about our meeting.




* * *
We went to a restaurant that, although not
elegant, was very nice and cozy.



My mother took my
arm as if she were the First Lady.



After we sat
down, I had to read the menu.



Her eyes could only
read large print.



Half way through the entries, I
lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at
me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.



’It was I
who used to have to read the menu when you were
small,’ she said.



’Then it’s time that you relax and
let me return the favor,’ I responded.




* * *
During the dinner, we had an agreeable
conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up
on recent events of each other’s life.



We talked so
much that we missed the movie.




* * *
As we arrived at her house later, she said, ’I’ll
go out with you again, but only if you let me invite
you.’ I agreed.




* * *
’How was your dinner date?’ asked my wife when I
got home.




’Very nice.



Much more so than I could have imagined,’
I answered.




* * *
A few days later, my mother died of a massive
heart attack.



It happened so suddenly that I didn’t
have a chance to do anything for her.




* * *
Some time later, I received an envelope with a
copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place
mother and I had dined.



An attached note said: ’I
paid this bill in advance.



I wasn’t sure that I
could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two
plates - one for you and the other for your wife.




You will never know what that night meant for me.



I
love you, son.




* * *
At that moment, I understood the importance of
saying in time: ’I LOVE YOU’ and to give our loved
ones the time that they deserve.



Nothing in life is
more important than your family.



Give them the time
they deserve, because these things cannot be put off
till ’some other time.



Have you ever gone outside at night and looked closely at the new moon? Or looked through a telescope at the moon when it was crescent shaped? Although what we see is a bright slice, we know there's more. Even when the moon is full and lights the night sky, there's a dark side to the moon. There's a dark side to us too. We all experience jealousy, envy, bitterness, resentment. How about neediness? Ugh. Who wants to shine a light on that? What about all those fears? Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of intimacy, fear of going broke, fear of the unknown, fear of growing old, fear of being alone, fear of being with someone, fear of losing control. Then there are other parts of us that we would prefer to keep darkened and out of sight, parts such as greed, dishonesty, intolerance, disgust, hatred. Although some people have no problem showing anger, others of us prefer to keep that out of sight too. And what about our manipulative part? Who wants anyone to see that? Some of us may even consider the dark side of ourselves forbidden. We may refuse to acknowledge it exists because we believe it's wrong. Not acknowledging our dark side doesn't wish it out of existence, any more than not seeing the dark side of the moon makes it disappear. Most sane people agree that they don't want to be controlled by their dark side. We don't want parts of ourselves - jealousy, neediness, and greed - to control our behaviors. But when we don't acknowledge these emotions and traits, they can gain control. The more we try to repress something, the more it fights for its life. Don't be afraid. Shine a light on that dark part. At least look at it briefly. Acknowledge it's there. Take some of the pressure off. Let yourself be well rounded, instead of one-dimensional. We don't just have a light side, a bright side. Nobody is always loving, always kind, always generous, and always thoughtful.
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