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Amy's blog: "Contradictions"

created on 02/06/2008  |  http://fubar.com/contradictions/b185441
I can be a very contradicting person. I love to cook but rather others cook for me. I love the beach, but I don't like going if it's hot or if there will be tons of people there. I don't like it when people are loud at my house, but I am usually the loudest one; especially after a few beers. I say I shouldn't eat fast food, then order a burger and fries. I will also get scared of scary movies, but watch them all the time. I like to be lazy but hate to be bored. I am not a liar, I just sometimes can be a hypocrite; even though I try hard not to be; that's a big pet peev of mine. If anything, I am too honest for my own good. I'm a home-body, I like to stay in and watch TV, watch movies, or read. But I get tired of being at home all the time. If I find a good book, I can read it in a day and not put it down. I love my alone time, it helps me sort out my life when things become overwhelming. I love to meet new and interesting people, but I have social anxiety and a people phobia. I love hard, I love deeply, if I let you in my heart you will always have a spot there even if we are on bad terms. I am very good to those I love, even though they treat me like a door mat. I'm easily taken advantage of, but do my best to help anyone who asks for it. I'd rather email or IM than talk on the phone, so don't be surprised if I rarely call. I love to dress up and put on my make-up, then put my hair in a pony tail. I never wear high heels and I love my pajama bottoms. I try hard to make a good first impression, but fall short, not because I am a rude, simply because I'm socially inept to engage in conversation right off the bat. I am a sensitive person but amazingly have a hard time letting go of old hurts. I'm tough on the outside and pretend things don't hurt me when really, on inside they cut me to the quick. I am unforgettable and one of a kind, once I'm in your life you will never forget me, or at least I hope you won't. I like to spend time with friends, BBQ's, camping, going to dancing, and just have a good time with people I care about, but would rather stay home with my husband and children. I love my friends, I CAN take a joke, and sarcasm is awesome. I love God and am passionate my faith in Him. I could not imagine living any other way. Even when I screw it up. I am fun, loud, loyal and a bit weird. I'm cynical, neurotic and compulsive. I like to laugh at my own jokes and find the most ridiculous things funny. I do have a bit of a temper, but I am laughing far more than yelling. I think I am friendly and funny, albeit a bit shy at first. I am very self-aware and know my faults. Trust me. I am constantly trying to be a better person. Not just for myself, but for others around me. I trust my own instincts, but tend to misjudge or second guess myself. I am full of contradictions.
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