Jay's blog: "change!!"

Time for a change, then maybe I will no longer feel the way I have been feeling. I have always been the "nice guy", I have always been the one there for someone when they need to talk, vent, or a shoulder to cry on. But it seems once that is done, I'm no longer needed. I have no problem being there for someone, but for them to act like I no longer exsist once they have moved on from what ever was bothering them...SUX!! I am very selective about who I "let in" my life, but lately it seems like a few have taken advantage of the type of man I am. I kind of feel like, if I'm not good enough to be involved in the good parts of someone's life, then don't come to me when your having a rough time. Problem is, I have a problem saying no, I can't bring myself to ignore a friend who needs me. I spend so much time worrying about the ones I care about, I dn't make time for me. Sooooo, it's time for that to change. I will always be there for the ones who matter the most to me, even if I dn't matter to them. But I'm done going out of my way to check on them, try to talk to them or whatever. I deserve better, whether it's from a real life friend or a online friend. Sorry, it just hurts to have ppl you talk to every day, on the phone and online, just kind of fade away from you. I can never her from my close friends, and I will care about them and worry about them, that will never change. I will always want the best for the ones I am closest to. Maybe I just need to learn to not let things bother me...just hard when someone doesn't talk to you, but you see them active on multiple sites talking way. Idk, call me a pussy, whatever....Just have a feeling, once I move within the next month, I'm just gonna say fuk it, delete all my online accts  and walk away from most everyone....because, more stress is one thing I don't need in my life. For those who I know truly care, Thank you

p.s.   never rite a "blog" when you have been drinking