we all have are flaws, sometimes something always goes bad, we all make mistakes.
my flaws seem to becoming more eventful and to be seen. people keep telling me what is wrong with me, things i was born to feel, mistakes in who i was raised to become. that sometimes is more an always where something has and will go wrong, either by fate or my own mistake. and finally we all make mistakes though i seem to be making more, often and more destructive.
i hate who i have become, i once loved who i was even if no one believed so, i am scared of who i may hurt and what i might do to myself. i have become a coward, fearful, paranoid, lonely, tired, weak. i dont feel i have purpose, nor to i feel the fight in me to continue. call me weak call me lazy to find a reason to fight, though i have always appeared strong. though when i know i am not flawed though am a flaw then why fight?
i love though even that holds no strength against me, nor does it hold reason or power with those whom i do love. everyone seems to believe it is just a word, something i give out like a "hello", i love and love has been taken away even left behind and it kills me. i wish hate was more my passion, they are both of equal strength of heart. i have done wrong and i have seen wrong being done. i stopped what i could, i protected what could be, i loved who i felt for. my life and all i have done has no success, no fame, there is no accomplishment in who i am or what i have done. i saved a life, i watched a life being taken, i survived near death moments, and i have tried to be the hero, the listener, the one who always wished to be there, and now i hold no patience for it, i no longer want to be a hero, let them save themselves, i am tired of listening, you never hear me anyway! i have been there, i always wished to stay and what did it get me?? you leaving me once you thought you were better... once you were happy with yourself. my weapons of choice against myself... ?
