noopz please pin yerself on me map BRIT...'s blog: "blog"

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of drinking and thought 'How did I get home?'? As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the bar to your home. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter. The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these magical devices. The beer scooter works in the following fashion: The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the slurring gland begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal. It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This generates the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'. Beer scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for 90% of all UDI (unidentified drinking injuries). An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of trans-dimensional portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This generates the third question after a night out 'What happened?' With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the EMIT (embarrassing moments in time) add on, that automatically allocates (for removal), in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one's EMIT is not necessarily the EMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained over a suitable period. Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom often with horrific consequences.

Well today I went to the Skintech tattoo convention at the Picadilly Hotel in Manchester. Thought I would go along on the train with the my kids. So we get ready, get in the car.. find somewhere to park the car then get pissed wet through walking to the station in the wind and rain. My brolly got so battered on the way that I had to dump it in the bin. Only to find that there are NO trains running on a Sunday!.. Not a one!.. 2007 and we have no trains running...just buses and the next one is not for another hour. FFS! So.. bollox to sitting on some grubby bus for god knows how long with my two sprogs (there and back).. we get even wetter going back to the car. Get in car.. empty water from shoes and drive bare foot to Manchester. Well anyhow.. it was worth it when we got there. Loads of exceptionally nice people being tattooed by exceptionally talented artists.. bliss! Kids loved it. Paul Naylor (who is the muts nuts) asked my seven year old if she was 'next' she responded by looking up at me and saying 'let's go!'. My other kid had her photo taken by Skin Deep magazine and will now drive me insane until the issue comes out featuring the expo.. probably to find that they don't publish her pic..grrr. Anyhow.. if you want to see what we have been up to today pop along to my profile page and see my slideshow under my General Interests section.

Hey, Please pop along to my page and pin yourself on my new guestbook map thingy... it's nice to see where you all are in the world.. Snoopz x Just gonna post some pics down here of stuff in my town (feel free to yawn at will...) Where I'm at Our beautiful town hall and 'golden gates'. The Cottage in Church Street, Oliver Cromwell stayed here apparently. Parish Church The Barley Mow Pub by the old market place.

Please be a dear and pop along and say hello to my friend Throber.. a Cherry Tap Newbie. It can be a bit weird finding your feet on here somtimes.. Ta ever so.. Snoopz

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THROBER

As most people will probably know.. I am not really into this whole valentines lark.. It is just a big commercial exercise.. like Easter, Christmas and just about every other holiday.. so just to show that I am not a complete miserable old bitch I will indulge the occasion by posting a belated Valentines Blog... don't get too excited..here it is.. ............................... ............................. ........................... ........................ .................... ................. ................ ............ ......... ....... ..... .... ... .. .

I am blogging this to humour my good friend Gee.. cos I love him so... 1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. What does it say? "Fucking" is not a four letter word. It's..it's a seven letter word. Isn't that your lucky number? from The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks. 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there? Seph.. he is at arms length because i am a bit guffy. 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Celebrity Uncensored or summat like that. 4. Close your eyes really tight. What do you see? Blackness 5. Grey hair - Distinguished or "not a good look" - It depends whether you are sporting the salt n pepper look or the mad wizard look really. 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Seph's X box game.. I think it is Lord of the Rings.. i hear Orcs! 7. Have you ever wished you could be somewhere else? Yep.. when my kids tell their teachers personal issues about me in front of me. 8. What's in your pockets? im naked 9. What are you wearing? are you deaf or stupid?.. 10. Did you dream last night? Yep.. can't remember what. 11. When did you last laugh? Tonight.. I went to the cinema for the first time with Seph (my first time with Seph not my first time to the cinema)..we watched Hot Fuzz it was ace. 12. What age do you feel? about 22 or 23 i spose 13. When did you last swear? about 5 mins ago i think 14. You have one million pounds, What's the first thing you do? Book a holiday to New Zealand 15. What do you see when you look in the mirror - Some hot chick with purple hair and a fine set of knockers. 16. How will you die? peacefully I hope 17. Tell me something about you that you think i'd like to know: Gee.. I think you know all the stuff about me that I think you would like to know... ;)... If not ..then you only have to ask x 18. You have the power to change one thing about the world, what will it be? Climate change from Co2 emissions.. the drowning polar bears make me sad. 19. You look good when you smile - Smile. Just for me. Smile :-) 20. Indecent Propsal (1 million for one night with your partner) - We both already did that.. for free.. you should try it! 21. Political Correctness - "About time" or "The world's gone mad!" - complete bullshit! 22. What gives you that fluttery feeling in your stomach? - Going over a hump back bridge to fast in a car... makes me assume foetal position too! 23. Do you truly, honestly believe in love? - yes I do.. aww Gee you answer to this gave me another sad gee moment.. bless you.. I do adore ya. 24. Name the thing that pisses you off the most. - alarm clocks!

I was watching our local News for the North West last week I think it was and they featured an artist called Anthony Brown. He is completing 100 portraits of people involved with the city of Liverpool to capture the spirit of Merseyside in 2007, 800 years since Liverpool was granted its charter. They are no ordinary portraits... each one is a canvas covered in a collage of clippings and other items all personal to the portrait subject and then the image is then applied over that. I was really taken aback by the images which were really endearing because of this personal connection. The 100 Faces will open to the public on the 24th January 2007 at the Capital Buildings on Old Hall Street

Happiness is........................NEW INK and we got some yesterday!

My gorgeous purple princess down the side of my right calf Seph's Evil Nun, down the back of his lower left arm