Can You Fill The Hole In My Soul's blog: "Blah"

Now i got a ring in my tongue......hard to eat but w/e. Nobody thought i'd do it...hell i'm glad i did. its worth it to relearn how to eat and be careful, and its helping me to obtain better teeth...believe it or not...the constant gargling and the constant brushing and the cleaning right after eating is making my three times a day into six times a day....they have never been so damn pearly white!!...hehehe

Everybody come check it out, i got a new addition. I actually think it looks better with two, but yanno....it's all up to you guys to tell me.. i think two is enough on this brow...but i could probably be talked into three. lemme know...

1.) How many times a day would you kiss me? answer: never, your breath stinks! 2.) Would you hold me? answer: choke hold maybe 4.) Would you take me places? answer: Fuck no! 5.) Would you love me? answer: Always BFF mutha fucka! 6.) Would you lie to me? answer: I'm guessing I just did 7.) If I was sick what would you do? answer: laugh at you 8.) Would you leave me for one of my friends? answer: Hell no! Your friends are fucked up! Unless she's hot........... 9.) Want to have a future with me? answer: Fuck no! 10.) Would you listen to all my problems and help me solve them? Answer: Hell no! 11.) Would you introduce me to your mom/dad? answer: I did..............mom's never been the same since...........asshole! 12.) Would you care about what I wore when we go out? answer: Ummm...........I could care less what you wear asa long as you are wearing some sort of underwear, don't want to see your balls 13.) Would you hang out with me AND my friends? answer: Only if your friends are hot 14.) If your friend tried to get with me what would you do? answer: You are more than welcome to hook up with Kent........just don' t fuck him on my couch 15.) Would you give me your fubar password? answer: It's saved on your computer dumbass 16.) If I gave you mine would you read all my mail? answer: Yes, I will continue to read all your emails 17.) If I said I loved you would you say it back? answer: Fuck no! 18.) How good do i look from 1-10? answer: at least 1, lower if possible 19.) How do you feel about me? answer: I like long walks on the beach with you big boy *smooch* 20.) Have i ever made you smile? answer: Last night when you bent over 21.) Want to spend the night with me? answer: Fuck no! Stay on the couch! 22.) Would we just chill together? answer: We would cuddle 23.) If you had an empty house would you call me to come over? answer: Only to pay your half of the rent 24.) Are you gonna repost this so i can reply? answer: Fuck No! Post it back if u want or send it to me and let me kn ow ur answers...

I'm single....not happy about it...but single. any takers? i'm easy to train......

Taking things one day at a time, trying to figure out who I truly am inside. It's hard to look inward and to fix yourself, but for some eason, I know I have to. This difficult journey is truly hard when I don't have the support of my best friend. I don't understand a lot of things anymore, and it's hard for me to figure all this out on my own. I hope I can be a better person, and this is what my goal is.

and i get to call a client today and tell them i can't go there today because i get to go visit a shrink so that I can start to get a handle on this life i'm living. I really don't like doing that because the problem is important, but so is my mental state. I'm trying hard not to break down, and I still have no clue what i'm going to do. I can't go to the appointment, but i forgot about it on thursday when we set the appt. Hopefully they are understanding.....

Waking up anymore just seems more difficult than what it's worth. Where is the girl i can hold in my arms all night, and wake up next to every morning? When I can just look into her eyes and see the beautiful day ahead of me. I tend to get myself hurt alot, and I don't know why. Is it that I truly love to be abused? Is it that I want to be hurt? I don't think this is possible, because I really don't like feeling this way. The chaos that surrounds my life is not pleasing, and I don't enjoy it. I tend to be very rational with others problems, but why can't I be as rational with my own? I have troubles remembering what love feels like anymore. Don't have anyone to lean on, to protect and nurture. Someone to be my one and only at the moment. Sometimes it's just hard remembering what it feels like to caress and to be caressed. Sometimes I just wonder if it is all just a tragic nightmare that I need to wake up from. Somebody wake me up?

I'm wondering if love is really worth it? I mean, seriously, how many times can your heart be broken before you give up? Faced with the situation, i am wondering if i should still continue to go on letting myself get in the situation or should i just completely give up altogether.....i dunno...opinions?

I'm brand spanking new to this, kinda confusing and jumbled around. w/e. Anyways trying to figure it out...so bear with me until i get the ropes....if i'm doing something wrong or something just send me a mail and i'll correct it...