Habit's blog: "Avlei Zion"

In these quietest of times I wish for you in my arms. Here by my side to cradle your head upon my chest. Feeling the silken caress of your hair upon my shoulder, the ardor of your body so near to mine. These little things that I miss so much when you are away from me. Those smallest of things so precious that consume me with thoughts of you. Those tiny, caring, tender nuances that join two hearts as one. Unspoken words that can be shared with but a glance between two eyes of those truly in love. That enchanted feeling that makes the heart swell, when beside you at this moment is the onethat makes you whole. Each time I gaze upon your face I see reflected in you, all that I have ever wanted. The myriad glow about you that sweeps me in it's aura. The radiance of your smile, that sparkle of heaven in your emerald green eyes. Yes, my love, my heart of hearts I have you inside me. Like flesh, like blood, as life's energy rushing headlong sustaining me in all ways, for all time. I hunger for your taste, our lips touching, seeking to quench each others thirst. I long for your touch, our bodies sculpted in passions perfection. Our fingers interlaced as palms do touch and the fabric of time stands still, passing between us our souls embrace. In the quietest of times I am so there with you. So inside of you my love, rushing headlong like life itself into your very heart.

Near the rivers of Bavel— there we sat down, we shed tears, when we remembered . Upon the willows in the midst, we hanged up our harps. For there they that led us captive, enquired of us words of song, and they vexed us with mirth: “Sing us one of the songs of .” How shall we sing a song of YHWH upon foreign soil? If I forget you Yerushalam, let my right hand forget its skill, and my tongue cleave to its palate, if I remember you not, if I will not bring to mind Yerushalam during my greatest joy. Remember YHWH, against the children of Edom the day of Yerushalam; who said, “Strip it bare; strip it bare! To its foundation!” Daughter of Bavel, who is destroyed: Happy shall He be that will repay you in retribution,for what you have inflicted upon us. Happy shall He be that takes and dashes your little ones against the rock.

The other day on my way home from the office a song came on the radio that brought me to tears. My father's mother is dead, she has been dead since October 29, 1993, but there are times when I cannot help but miss her, and all that she meant to me. If I had to call any person on the face of this planet by the terminology "Mother" then she would get first chances. This woman raised me from the time that I was three months old when my father, and mother divorced, and my father one custody of me, and my mom's other son whom was not his child, but he adopted. My father moved us in with my Grandma who placed it upon herself to raise us, and this she did to the best of her ability having been 65 when I was born in 1977. It was not as difficult to raise me as it was my older brother whom was a trouble maker of the worse degree, but she managed her best. She is dead, and according to her beliefs, and my beliefs, this mean that she is in a state of unconsciousness, and thus I attempt to not think of her too often, or cry over her, but there are times that I miss her so dearly that I cannot help but cry, and pray that she was till here with me this day. Her memory will always be blessed in my mind, and she will always have a place in my heart!

You have enslaved me with your lovely body; You have placed me within a kind of prison. Since the day we parted, I have found nothing that is like your beauty. So I comfort myself with a ripe apple-- Its fragrance reminds me of the myrrh of your breath, Its shape of your breasts, its color Of the color that used to rise to your cheeks.

I am not Chabad, nor will I ever be Chabad. We are both B’nai Yisra’el, but our beliefs are not one and the same where the Torah is concerned; that is, in our understanding and practice. I believe much of their understanding and practice to be greatly influenced by ancient pagan civilizations in which my people were captives. In truth, I think this way concerning Talmudic Judaism in general. I think that Talmudic Judaism has been clearly and dearly influenced from the beliefs and philosophies of Babylon, Persia and Rome, and I weep in anguish that my people are blind to this, but, does not the Miq’ra state, in truth, “Who is as blind as My servant?” (Sefer Yihayahu [Isaiah] 42:19) Even though I feel this way about Talmudic Judaism in general, and about those among my people who are Chabad, I have found myself greatly impressed with the words of Chabad Reggae artist Matisyahu. He does something that most within our time, among my people, have forgotten – he calls for a return to Torah. Of course, his idea of Torah and my idea of Torah are not one, and the same, for being Chabad he surely thinks that there are is both a written Torah and an oral Torah; whereas, I only see that which is written as Torah, and all else is merely commentary upon that Torah, some good, and some bad. But, the significance of his call for a return to Torah designates the he realizes there is a problem amongst our people in general, and it is this that I admire. And it is this that makes the music call out to me. I find myself singing his music passionately, as if they were the songs of times past, the songs of Dawidh. I have always greatly been endeared with music, being eclectic in my tastes, liking almost every genre, as long as what I am hearing sounds good to my ear. And I can even write lyrics to almost any rhythm, and beat, and it sound good; whether, I am singing my lyrics, or rapping my lyrics (only to goof around). But, even though I can write lyrics, and I can place them to rhythms, and beats, I am unable to play proficiently any type of instrument in which to create instrumentals for my own music. If I could then, like unto Matisyahu, I would write music calling B’nai Yisra’el back unto éäåä and His Torah. I wish that those among HaQara’im who have talent like unto Matisyhau would do like unto Matisyahu and bring praise unto éäåä within our era through song. áøåê éäåä ìòåìí àîï åàîï