this is my life
when god was making angels he dropped one from the sky she fell into my lap one day she had no wings to fly seven months of being scared the time was finally here what will it be like my heart is filled with fear. you are here you looked at me with big scared eyes i could not hold you i just smiled and cried. no time to count fingers no time to count toes i ran my fingers threw your hair and i kissed you lil nose the dr's rushed you away to check you out they came back to say like they had a doubt it is confirmed laynee has half a heart she will go to nicu and you will have to part. eight hours of waiting i was able to see you i was not allowed to hold you what was a mommy to do you lay in your tent and every waking moment by your side i spent. finally seven days later the time has arrived i was allowed to hold you seven days you and i was deprived wires out your belly needles in your arms monitors everywhere setting off alarms i held you for three straight hours not knowing nothing but you they made me let you go i did not know what to do. the next time i saw you i was saying goodbye they wheeled you away and i cried and cried. i ran from our family but there was no where to hide i sat in a corner and still cried and cried. nine hours of surgery what a long wait i waited and waited for some kind of update the nurse walked in with no expression on her face i closed my eyes and she touched my leg everything is going just great she said i took a deep breath and whipped the sweat from my head. i walked in and saw you and your half way fixed heart i knew it was time for our long journy to start your poor lil body all bruised and swollen i tried to hold back but the tears they kept rollin i could not hold you so i held your hand i closed my eyes and asked god now what is your plan a few days later you opened your eyes you looked so scared and i was dying inside. i wanted to pick you up and snuggle you to my chest i was not allowed i knew it was for the best. i am your mommy i yelled out a nurse came over i know you love her with out a doubt she has to rest to get strong so she can go home dont worry momma she will never be left alone what did i do to deserve this i said out loud then i looked at you and said yes what did i do to deserve this i said so proud look at her she is a angel with no wings i want to feed you and rock you and lalabyes i will sing i am your mommy and your two weeks old never changed your diaper and only three hours i got to hold. it was not fair you are so brand new mommy's with healthy babies just dont have a clue some can say they understand the pain and hurt you dont understand my family has been drug threw the dirt. but still i got a angel that shines she is here forever she is forever mine
shelly
@ CherryTAP my cousin wrote this about her little baby Laynee
