Over the years I have heard numerous times about Goreans stating that the Master/slave relationship is "deeper" than the BDSM or D/s relationship. I would like to address this issue, not defending either side but to shed some light.
All relationships start with nothing. Both parties know nothing of the other person. As you talk or witness each other in social situations, you begin to make judgements of the person. One person who has been in #DominateRadio a lot lately said "Tal" to me. I was elated to find another Gorean but actually he said he was taking a stab, but that my actions lent to the fact that he thought I would be Gorean (I took it as a compliment though I’m not sure if it was intended as such J). We assess situations and people and decide whether or not to include them further in our lives, if we have a choice in the matter, which SHOULD be the case. (Yes, some countries still have arranged marriages.)
As we get to know the other person, we learn about them. This brings them to different levels based upon likes and dislikes. Let’s use an analogy of a ladder. We consider ourselves on rung 7 and all people we don’t know aren’t even on the ladder. As we get to know someone and like them, our minds bring them up the ladder, closer to us. The goal of the relationship then is to become equals and move up the ladder together.
BDSM relationships begin much like any relationship. Each person being a separate entity, seeking the partner that matches their personality, likes, dislikes, etc. There is a lot of negotiation and discussion because BDSM has a plethora of avenues that people traverse. I don’t think it is possible to find two people who, at the very same time when meeting, have exactly all the same interests. During a relationship, each will probably try the other’s fetishes, exploring and understanding their partner more. So in the analogy of the ladder, a couple will not only become equals, but will discuss ahead to see which way the ladder is going to go and whether or not to traverse it together.
The basis of a Gorean Master/slave relationship is much different in that there are fewer venues to walk. Girls are taught to recite this to themselves:
He is Master, and I am Slave.
He is owner, and I am owned.
He commands, and I obey.
He is to be pleased, and I am to please.
Why is this?
Because he is Master, and I am Slave.1
There is no negotiating or power struggle between the Master and slave. He is Master and she is slave or there is no relationship, period. The Master starts off on the ladder and is always several rungs ahead, leading the girl up one rung at a time. Only he knows where the ladder is going and she trusts his judgement.
(Note: Realistically speaking, I caution all people in Gorean OR BDSM relationships to not walk into something blindly. Make certain you know who you are dealing with, along with references and LOTS of time in person.)
This next quotes sums up the reasoning behind so many Goreans zealousness to proclaim the Gorean Master/slave relationship as the deepest one of all.
"The case with slaves, such as you, my dear, is of course much different. The difference, however, is that respect and attention is not due to you, that it need not be accorded to you. You are slave. In actual practice, of course, masters tend to pay a great deal of attention to the thoughts and feelings of their lovely slaves. It is rewarding and delicious to do so. How wonderful it is to know another human being so intimately, especially one one owns. There are no secrets between masters and slaves. Her deepest thoughts and desires, as well as her most trivial fancies and observations, are open to him and, because he owns her, of great interest to him. A man is much more likely to be in-tensely fond of a girl he owns than of a free individual toward whom he stands in a mere contractual relationship. The latter he does not own
