BOO BOO KITTY FUKK's blog: "All About me"

This is How i am feelin today.. Ive learned its better to Get it out and Share then to bottle it in or this will happen... :(
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My son was just here.. I got to spend an hour with him.. His dad was actually cool with me.. But then again he also had something to show me.. Like it really mattered.. He got his dick pierced.. SO Yea he wanted to show it to me. HA HA like I really needed to know right.. But anyways My son got his ear pierced and He really likes it.. Im so Excited i got to see him.. :D I missed him soo much.. He has a cocky mouth on him though that sucks.. But Imma go now.. Tiff

I got 2 new tattoos.. One on my left hand and one on my right hand.. the one on my Right hand is a heart with a crack in it and a bood drop coming out.. It Symbolizes My Heart that is broke and the blood drippin outta it.. Then the one on my Left hand is a Smiley Face Above it, it says R I P and under neath it says JEFF .. Its for my uncle Jeff who passed away last year.. Feb 6th 2006 He died :( Check out the pics if u wanna

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with Your negative traits: Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down. Your ideal partner: Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt! Your dating style: Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another. Your seduction style: Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship. Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild. Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac. Tips for the future: Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you. Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing. Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first. Best color to attract mate: Aqua Best day for a date: Wednesday

Well I went to court this morning and The charges were dropped but i knew that was gonna happen.. What i didnt know was that My Arresting officer wasnt showing up so even if My grandparents didnt drop the charges my case would hav e been dismissed cause the officer didnt show.. HA HA THATS GREAT NEWS FOR ME>. Then i got this paper in the mail,., I pay 191.97$ BI-weekly for Child support... And owe 237.97$ IMMEDIATELY For back support.. AKA ARREARS.. ITS SUCKS ASS>.. SO Im off to find a job..

Fuck.. I dont even know what i wanna say so imma let my mind free and just write as i think.. So watch out this will be fucked up.... Ok here we go.. i miss my son.. I dont get to see him and I hardly get to talk to him then when i do talk to him like today My son was too busy to talk he was listenin to a song.. so he wouldnt talk.. That hurts but yet i know i deserve it.. Then ya go the whole fact that im living in a fucked up World.. And this world i speak of is my own mind.... Its FUCKED... im fuckin sick of getting hurt.. Im fuckin tired of being soo fuckin stupid.. And gullable.. I wish you all could see the world through my eyes.. Even for an hour.. You wouldnt be able to handle it.. The fucked up thoughts in my head... The shit i deal with.. The Fuckin abuse i take.. You'd never even know.. Its sooo fuckin hard.. Im 21 years old.. i shouldnt have this shit to think about or deal with.. i should be happy go lucky.. Not worry about how im gonna get things In order and straightened out so i can be the mom i wanna be and the mom my son deserves.... I just fuckin cant take it anymore.. Im sick of getting fucked with.. and Toyed with like its all a game.. Like Im just a Pawn or something.. .. Then My sons dad... Yea Hes Fuckin with me BADDDDDD and i mean BADDDDD I dont talk about him much hes a touchy subject... He's gonna get his 9th concussion from me soon.. The fuckin prick... Tells me i dont know how to be a parent cause im not there for my son everyday... But HOW THE FUCK CAN I BE THERE IF HE WONT LET ME SEE HIM!!!....... Shitts sooo fucked in my life.. But yea No one cares.. FUCK I dont even care anymore.... Im going now ... BYE... Comment if u want i can use some input... Tiff

I hate this feeling of emptiness. I hate bein hurt.. i hate that i put myself out there to be hurt.. I hate not being there for my son.. i hate the feelings i have.. i hate The thoughts in my head.. I hate the ppl who tell me they wont hurt me then turn around and hurt me... I hate All this depression.. I hate not knowing what to do next.. I hate Wakin up in the morning.. I hate the fact that I lived a life so fucked up ... I hate when ppl tell me they know how i feel.. That sayin Been there done that.. is FUCKIN BULLSHIT.. No one knows what ive been through and how i feel inside... You will never know unless u walked in my shoes.. and i wouldnt wish it on anyone.. I hate The world.. I hate not being happy... But then i stop and think out of all of this... What i really hate is......ME... I HATE ME!!!

Im really not feeling good at all.. Mentally or physically.. Im startin to get sick.. So thats the physical part.. Now for the mental.. Are u sure ur ready for this?... Ok here we go... First Ive been thinking about my past.. and basically how i screwed my life up with drugs.. then i think how i wasted time and let it slip by takin everyone for granted thinkin they would always be there.. Until one day last year when My house burned down and my Uncle Jeff died.. Ha Big reality Call.. I lost my life in a matter of hours.. thats when i got really heavy in to the drugs.. I havent been the same since the house burned.. Granted I am Clean off the drugs now But that just makes me Deal with the shit going on in my head.. I miss my son.. I miss my uncle.. I seem to fuck up everything Good out there for me.. I just started a new job.. I hope to hell i can keep it and I like it.. Im falling in love with a Man and Its scaring the shit outta me.. I dont want to be hurt again.. But i dont want him to think I dont care about him.. I can really hide these feelings in me and no one ever notices.. But then there are days that Everyone can tell im upset and bothered.. I wish i didnt have the thoughts i have in my head.. They scare me thinking about them.. I listen to death music and songs about pain and I Laugh at the ones about killin ppl.. and relate to the ones about pain.. Everyone thinks they know how i feel But Trust me you dont.. I go to bed everynight Hoping my life was a dream and ill wake up and be normal.. Then i wake up in the morning realize that it wasnt a dream and I wish i didnt get up.. My son keeps me strong .. I dont know what i would do if i couldnt talk to him.. I cant see him everyday and I havent seen him since dec 26th.. But once again thats my fault.. He deserves a better mom.. I know this.. He deserves the BEst of the best.. and i know i cant give it to him.. all i have to offer is My love and All i have in me.. I would give my life to him if i could.. And this man that im seeing.. Well Wow.. I dont ever feel Upset when he is around or when i talk to him.. and i wish i knew how he felt truely about me.. Anyways My head running in circles and I dont know how to control it. Suprizingly i havent wanted to go back to the drugs.. Im shocked. and proud.. But Imma get going... The last thing i wanna say is... the only things in my life i wouldnt change is... Living with my dad at the moment.. Having my son.. and Meeting G... Other then that.. I hate my life.. I hate me.. I cant even look at myself in a mirror. Let alone look myself in the eye.. I cant stand me.. Im fat.. I think im pretty to a point.. But yet. Im Horrible.. Anyways Gotta go.. Shits too fucked up for me to keep typin TIFF

Well Today Is another day.. Its Feb 5th.. Which means tomorrow is the 6th.. Tomorrow will be a VERY hard day for me so please Please Please If u can do anything to Cheer me up when im on Please do so.. See.. Last Year On Feb 4th I moved back in to my grandparents house.. I Had Everything i owned In that house and Then On the 6th.. My grandparents House Had an Electrical Fire.. and it burned To the ground.. I lost Everything i owned.. My Dog died In the house... He wouldnt leave (Ready for this) Because my uncle was trapped in the basement.. Yes My Uncle Died.. :( At 38 years old.. So To make matters Even better My sons Dad decided to tell me I was in no shape to have my son and He said He was taking me for full custody.. And he did... and won.. So Therefor Tomorrow is Going to be hard.. It will be 1 year Exactly that I lost my life... Along with my uncle and my home... I hope i can handle it... ~*Tiff*~ ******R.I.P Uncle Jeff 06/25/67 - 02/06/06********

I just recently moved back in with my dad.. after having a mental and nervous breakdown.. doing some crazy shit and fuckin up my life once again.. so im here at my dads and im alright i guess ...