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DAWN's blog: "A FUBAR Christmas"

created on 11/20/2007  |  http://fubar.com/a-fubar-christmas/b157096
Have a very FUBAR Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the site,
Not a member was stirring, things didn’t seem right;
The Stilletto Girls hung their stockings with care,
In hopes that Baby J soon would be there;
The bombers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of bouncers danced in their heads;
With Stang in her 'thong, and JD in his cap,
Someone heard Scrapper yell Good Lord and Oh snap,
When from our speakers there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the monitor we flew like a flash,
Oh it’s just Achilles updating his stash.
So to the mumms did many of us go
Nothing but whining from a Fubar point ho,
When, what to our wondering eyes came along,
A miniture sleigh pulled by eight girls in a thong,
With a little drunk driver, so lively and gay,
We knew in a moment it must be Baby J.
More rapid than eagles his members they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Ash Weee! now, La La! now, Cherry and Kimmy!
On, Punky! on Donna! on, Sassy and Wendy!
Go to my profile you heard him call!
Now rate away! rate away! rate away all!"
"Quicker than referrals appear on our screens,
Members are becoming Fu-Kings and Fu-Queens
A gift from Baby J, for cheaters galore,
A bank full of bucks, They never had before
And then, in a twinkling, the member count rose
Former top members crying this fucking blows.
Once honest members are now being ripped
For deceitfully using the add a friend script.
He was dressed in rags, from his head to his foot,
And his jeans were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Sitting on the street holding a sign,
I need money and members Baby J did whine.
His eyes -- how they teared with a vacant stare!
Looking pathetic in a state of dispair!
His droll little mouth quivered and shook,
As he looked at the numbers in his little check book;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
What is he smoking so many would ask,
As he takes a swig from an old rusty flask.
Many remember a time not long ago,
When the site was about fun, not a sack full of dough;
Faster than Fu_Daddy or Ms Dallas could flinch,
Baby J went from hero to the greedy Baby Grinch
He spoke not a word, just kept changing the site,
Ignoring our pleas, calling them trite,
Holidays are about giving he said with a smile,
Welcome to Christmas, Fubar style;
He sprang to his feet, to his staff gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, PLEASE GIVE TO MY SITE."

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