This ones kinda weird. This may be the girl coming out in me. But I've been thinking. A lot...I guess maybe I am ready to let go and settle down..(cough!!) I have never had a man tell me that they couldn't live without me in their life. I have had so many tell me they loved me. But none that ever appeared to be my knight and shinning armor. I have never had a old friend confess love. Excluding Tim. Sometimes I wonder whether I am good enough or not to even have the man I want. Dreams may fill my head of him all day. But when days turn to nights and I lay in bed..alone and wonder what life would be like with him by my side. What it would be like in the morning waking up to his angelic face. What it would feel like to know he was coming home to me. Wondering what it would be like to know he was looking forward to looking in my eyes. I never had a man really purpose to me. The whole nice dinner or the on one knee thing. I have had many men purpose to me but it was never the way I wanted it. Thats one of the reasons I always turned them down. I have the exact plan of how I would like it to be. But also cause most of them more pussies. I'm not fond of men that I can beat up or cant have my ass. And not in the sexual sense. I want one day to be able to walk down the isle for the most perfect wedding. But you must not misperceive this. The perfect wedding to me is in a field some where or on a beach. With my dearest friends and maybe one family member. Not a big gown. But a gown. With my hair bound up in flowers or something gay like that. I want the most perfect man of my dreams. One thats sweet and caring. One that knows me inside and out. Someone who's not afraid to just explore life. Someone who is him. Lets go left..no right..thats what I want. Spontaneousness,its the most wonderful thing in the world and its what makes up me. I want someone who hasn't seen me for a while and when they do its the most wonderful thing in the world to them. Because in those few moments of being reunited they remember why it is they fell in love with me in the first place. Thats what I want. I want forever in a bottle in a heart in his hand.
Night guys.
