I WOULD SAY I AM JUST AN AVERAGE GUY. BE IT GOOD OR BAD! I AM A 31 YEAR OLD SINGLE GUY WITH NO KIDS. I AM A HUGE NASCAR FAN! I AM ALSO A BIG HUNTER. DUCK HUNTING IS THE MOST ADDICTIVE THING I HAVE EVER DONE. I LOVE MY ST LOUIS CARDINALS. I AM VERY BIG ON STAYING CLOSE WITH MY FAMILY (EVEN THOUGH WE ARE STRUNG OUT ACROSS THE COUNTRY). I HAVE ONE SISTER WHO JUST GRADUATED FROM NURSING SCHOOL! I LOVE HER TO DEATH. IF YOU MESS WITH HER WE HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM! ALL MY FRIENDS SAY I AM A HIGH CLASS REDNECK. NOT REALLY SURE WHAT THAT MEANS BUT I GUESS I LIKE A LOT OF THINGS "REDNECK" BUT I LIVE IN THE CITY.

You're A Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.