Mylene make-up artist 80’s + 90’s life is as perfect as you want it to be brocollis are as good as an orgasm just like the wind, a breeze on your skin and then i'll disappear mature enough not to care about immaturity i know where i'm going i know what i want and most of all i know who i am An old friend once said that I was a superficial, materialistic and snobbish girl. Which is true, if you only bother looking at who I am on the outside.Sometimes, I'll be a reflection of the person you think I am. No point in showing you the real me if you already labelled me.I tried to commit suicide the day after my 18th birthday. I obviously failed.I don't usually talk much around people. It's not because I'm bored, it's because I love listening to you. And because I'm bad with words, I feel more than I talk.My best bud and I often played Ninja Turtles/Batman/Power Rangers in his basement. Heck, I was young and boyish...Overall, in my life I took many private lessons. Ballet, art, painting, drawing, singing, piano, only to name a few.I like kissing people. Girls or boys, whatever. Give me lips.I love showering my friends with gifts and pay for their dinner even if I'm broke. But don't buy/pay me anything, chances are I'll feel bad and I'll probably end up being mad cuz of it. Or if you do, you can be sure I'll give it back to you one way or another.I seem to have a talent for hurting the ones I love.I am obsessive and compulsive. Sometimes. Depends.When I was a little girl, I wanted to marry some very old rich guy so he'd die soon after our marriage and I'd inherit all of his money. Today, I still do.During winter, I love walking downtown and invite shiveringhomeless peopleto dinner, even if it's just for 99cents pizza, and listen to them talking about their life. Haven't done that in a year, and I fucking miss it.Getting older is a great feeling. Well, since my face keeps looking younger...wtf, I am NOT 16.I had my first plastic surgery at 11. Yeah, 11 years old and already obsessed with my appearance. Had to go back under the scalpel at 12, because I wasn't happy with the overall result. I was awake during the surgery, and there was a light above me, you know those like they have at the dentist? With some kind of mirror around it. So I kept looking into it, blood, blood, blood, surgeon cutting skin, blood, blood, saw it all. Awful memory.I have an aunt in a psychiatric hospital and I visit her once a month. And everytime I go, patients always showus their boobs or their butts. Very entertaining. Last year at their Christmas dinner, a woman removed her shirt and licked her tits in front of us. Hmm, such an erotic sight it was.I finished my first year of highschool with an average of 98nmy final exams. I was such a geek.In French classes, I always had 99n my written essays, but barely had 60nmy reading comprehensions.I was seeing a speech therapist when I was younger. Kept mixing up letters when I was talking.A friend and I liked to capture caterpillars, we had a box full of them and they were our babies. We were hiding the box under a pine tree at her place, and someday we looked into it and they were all gone. We cried.I used to believe that cars would fly in year 2000. Now, I'm disappointed.Had a lot of good/freaky experiences with ouija boards. Won't touch one ever again.If I'm alone at home for the night, I need to leave a light on or else I won't sleep. I'm still such a baby. And I still sleep with a plushie. I need protection.I'm obsessed with peanut butter. Peanut butter maple syrup milk = orgasm.I don't like my body. But even if I'd somehow get the body I want now, I still wouldn't be happy, because that's how life is. One can never be happy with what they have. So I live with it and don't complain. Not too much anyway.Lancome lipgloss is sex.I find it kind of funny that the story about me dating a 14 year old when I was 19 often comes up in a conversation, whenthe actual story is totally different. But I guess it's easier to make a joke out of it, hurts less, and the truth is only mine and hers to know.As much as I'd want to travel again, it scares me. What if...As long as you're happy, that's enough to make me smile.When I was about 10~11years old, I often used to talk about rape with a friend. For some twisted reason, we both wanted to be raped. Mental problems I guess. But reality's quite different.Pink Ranger was my role model, wanted to be as pretty and as strong. in pink.I have two rings onmyengagement finger that I never take off. One my mom gave me for my 18th birthday, the other one a dear friend gave me in a cafe. They both always remind me of the most important things in life; family, and friends.I have a dark past that still haunts me every now and then. Past experiences taught me that nobody will ever understand. There are some things that aren't meant to be shared, there are some things that scare people away, there are some things that people just don't want to know.I met one of my very best friends on March 29th, many years ago. Exactlyfour months later on July 29th, he died. Probably the best four months of my life. I miss him more than anything in this world, he was everything to me; a father, a brother, a lover, a friend.I often find myself staring into space thinking of him, talking to him in my head. I don't need your God, I got mine.I'm living for you, doing my very best to make you proud. My heart's beating for you, I'm breathing for you, every step I make is for you. Sometimes, my capacity to forget and move on kinda scares me. But somehow it all makes sense.I will never say sorry for being who I am. I don't need your judgements, and chances are I won't hear them.Perfection doesn't exist, and I'm really far from being perfect. Everyone have flaws. I know what mines are. I'm not proud of some things that I've done, but at least I have enough character, decency and maturity to admit to it.Because of some hot guy, I'm now totally hooked on Chess. I suck at this game so much like you wouldn't believe, but it's all good, I don't mind losing all the time.If I can become half the woman my grandmother is, then I'll have no regrets.I enjoy long walks alone. I think it's the perfect medicine to heal a broken soul.When Spring will come, you will surely find me drawing and listening to musicby the river. I always start drawing again during Spring. And I have the feeling that this year won't be an exception.i'm happy with all i have and all i don't have every breath i take is like a second chance it's up to you to take the next breath with me or to hold it while you walk away i saw a ghost when i was young. STFU i'm not crazy<3 now i'm pretty sure it was my grandpai used to really be into spiritual stuff, and 4 years ago i had a dream about some unfortunate events that took place in the past and my friend was in the dream with me. next morning i wake up tired as if i haven't slept at all, i remembered everything from the dream as if it happened for real. next thing i know, i call the friend who was in the dream with me, start to babble about the dream, only to be cut off by her voice saying "i had the same dream"one day i lit up candles and played ouija alone in my room. the song that was playing started to skip, then it got weird, i started to feel very angry, i blew on the candles real hard and i curled on my bed until i calmed down. when i opened the light there was wax everywhere on my desk, and everywhere on my facei never touched a ouija board after that. but my dog kept looking at the corner of my room and sometimes i heard knocking on the wall when i was going to bed. Got my house exorcised, for like, the third time in a yearthink i'm crazy yet? sweet.i rarely shave my legs during winter"eww" you say? shut up, you wouldn't even noticei'm currently listening to a sailor moon song.my current life can be resumed in two words: alcohol & playstationi was a loser in highschool, i was obsessed with japanese animations and japanese rock and you know what? GOD IT WAS FUNmy neighbour whipped me with a skipping rope when i was ~5 year old because i was treating her like crapalain sous marin est mon soleil quotidienif only i could marry k-maro and the rock...my little cousin and i often played doctors in his room when we were young and now everytime i see him i wonder "does he remember?"i often photoshop my mole on pictures, cuz it's ugly kthnx.i have small boobs and i cheat with padded brasi love stalking people and make up their life in my head, it's like playing barbiei have crooked teeth, and never you will see a picture of me smiling cuz of thati stay in the shower until there's no hot water lefti eat a spoonful of peanut butter before going to bed. if there's one thing i could take to heaven with me when i die, peanut butter it would be.i always forget to cut my toenailsi drool a lot when i sleepmy brother's blacki absolutely love 80 and 90s music, it's allllll about the memories and elementary school dancesi could easily turn into an alcoholicall my life i said there was only one person i hated in this world because she took all my friends away from me back in highschool. my awesome and nice 24h/7 drugged friends. i saw her a few weeks ago at the CLSC when i went for my bloodtests and..nop, i don't hate her. I'm actually glad she took those people out of my life, and i seriously couldn't care less anymore. so now i'm free from hate.if you think i have reasons to hate you, well i don'ti don't hate you, i just don't care about you, and maybe i might even thank youilost my virginity at 19or was it 20i have such a bad memorywhen i was a kid my brother and i were alone for the night at my aunt's place and we were scared shitless and couldn't sleep. so we opened the tv and bleu nuit was on. it actually calmed us. the therapeutic vertues of "porn"i might have to much duck/chick plushies...no wayylife has never been sweeteri used to carve crosses in my skin with my compass in math classused to be totally in love with The Rasmus, i went to their show with friends and we sang all the songs and it was amazing and we were probably the older girls therefrites dorees. know that restaurant on st-laurent? they have the best poutinei'm seriously considering moving to vancouver for a few months