A few bits and pieces about me and what I'm about in this world-gone-screwy:

- I was born at St. Alban's Hospital in New York City, New York, on June 20, 1964

- My family and I moved to Mebane, North Carolina, in August 1974

- I am a graduate of Eastern Alamance High School in Mebane, North Carolina, on June 11, 1982 .... And yes, I STILL miss those simple, care-free fun days as a teenager after all these years!!!

- I am a graduate of Alamance Community College (The Carrington - Scott Campus) in Graham, North Carolina, where I earned an Associate Degree in Commercial Art and Audio-Visual Technology on August 16, 1985.

- I am currently working two part-time jobs: One as a Team Member at Bojangles' Famous Chicken 'n Biscuits (Restaurant # 606) in Mebane, and the other as a Customer Service Clerk at Lowe's Foods Supermarket (Store # 236), also in Mebane.

- I am hoping to someday return to school on a Resident Underachieving Wallflower Scholarship .... Anything else is just that classic food fight scene from the greatest college movie of all-time: "National Lampoon's Animal House"!!!!

- Contrary to unpopular speculation and folklore, I still live with my parents, who I love and care about very much. Now if only they would just understand how much watching the televised newscasts every weeknight depresses me like nobody's business all the time ....

- I am single; and have been since Day One. Let's face it, folks, all the best ones are already taken (both on Planet Fubar and in Real-Life), and I'm not sure if I can deal with anymore disappointments in love than any one human being from any walk of life or business can actually deal with without falling apart at the first sign of trouble.

- I am deathly afraid of growing up; always have been, always will be. The negative pressure, politics, and perils that come with dealing with realistic issues are more than enough to make me wish I was somewhere else and never have to worry about such issues ever again. Can you say "Fantasy Island"? Sounds like an ideal retirement destination, if you ask me!

- Would I like to get married to a totally rich, young, sexy, drop-dead gorgeous young woman somewhere down the road? Well, let me put it this way: As long as they don't have a problem taking a road trip to Stamford, Connecticut, and exchange our wedding vows on "The Jerry Springer Show", then there's a good chance we might have a shot at making our relationship work as perfectly as a finely-tuned Rolex!

- My Ultimate Dream Job? To become a Basic Internet Surfer, where I get to hide in my office all day long, and have countless hours of fun (even during weekends and holidays) checking on my e-mails, play free online video games, view some classic video clips on You-Tube, and scoping out all the latest happenings on such social networks as Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, and of course, Fubar. And to get paid very well for doing what I love and love what I do would definitely make my future days and nights all the more enjoyable in more ways than one.

- I am a Cheeseburger Guy .... and Damn Proud Of It!!!!