I'm an opinionated intellectual with an abundant amount of energy. I'm a man who enjoys life without regrets. I live life with passion, and I enjoy every minute of it like a fat kid eating his last cupcake. I have a megawatt smile, nice looking shoes, and a cute dog. I don't have time for petty drama, or emotional hysterics. I do what I want, when I want, and I know exactly what I want out of life. I'm old enough to know what I'm doing, and young enough to do it often.

I’m seeking a woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings. I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we’re lucky - both!

The five coolest words in the English language are pickle, monkey, cobalt, spackle and wasps.

***If you use "ur" in place of "your" or "you're", then you are an idiot and I automatically hate you.***

If you made it this far, you might as well contact me; even if it's only to tell me what a jerk I am because you don't get my sense of humor.