There was no reality to pain when it left one, though while it held one fast all other realities faded.


We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way.

Submission without domination is when you keep doing what he wants even after he keeps insisting he doesn't want it. Domination without submission is when he keeps telling you to do something and you keep telling him to fuck off.

Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous.

Feelings that originate in the human genitalia are among the most powerful forces on earth. They have a complex relationship with the feelings that stem from the human heart; at various times in competition or in harmony... One of the supreme goals of spiritual work is to harness the sexual urges in service to the heart's wisdom.

Thou art to me a delicious torment

To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself and so to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread.

A riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing.

Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff

The slave escapes her bonds to find a stronger set of chains.

I’ve always been into it in fantasy going way back, and in practice taking what I could, playing around the edges of vanilla relationships. What I’ve come to realize about myself is that I cannot be happy without a strong D/s, s/m element in my lover. I feed to deeply with it for me to try to patch together a relationship, no matter how loving, without having it. So, realizing that I got involved. Started on a path to become the kind of man who can be trusted to Top a woman cleanly and with passion, and tried to find partners for whom my roles, fantasies, my dominant and sadistic nature is not an undesirable or merely tolerated inconvenience, but an asset, something prized and sought.