You’ve been out on the dates, made those late-night phone calls and sipped your coffee or digestif with her. The dessert has been devoured and you find that the walls of the restaurant have been replaced by the walls of her home or your apartment. You’re almost too aware of that soft surface beckoning you, and you impatiently want to sink under the plush covers -- that is, while you plunder and sink into the woman you most want to unravel.
Yet, while you fumble with clothes, a niggling little thought appears in rapid and dampening succession. Does she want me to stay? Is the bathroom clean? Is that my roommate coming home? Is her roommate coming home? Did I wash the sheets? Did I put that picture of my ex away? Tiny little questions like these can quickly become your bane if left unchecked. After all, these considerations can mean a second encounter or can sadly result in your unreturned phone calls.
Here are some tips to secure that your first time with her will lead to a second time and a third and a fourth…
Be clean and receptive:
At this point common practices of cleanliness apply. By "common" I’m referring to your home or apartment as well as your body. Your space should be free of garbage lying around or your dirty laundry sprawled out. This also includes removing any pictures of your ex or underwear from “some girl” you had over the other night.
If your bathroom is unclean, she will not be comfortable -- she won’t want to stay and she won’t want to return. If you have pets, put them away for the night. This includes any roommates. Any scents in the bedroom should be light and clean-smelling, nothing heavy or lingering.
Focus on her:
The first time you experience each other should be free from accoutrements. The focus should be solely on each other. This is especially true if you haven’t yet established comfort levels for sex play. This is not the time to break out the sex toys, the fetishes or any pornography. Do break out the condoms though.
It would also help if neither of you were dangerously inebriated. It is good to have her sound judgment on yes or no, and your sound mental faculties to heed what she says.
You should be patient and make it your utmost concern to please her and let her know how much pleasure she’s giving you. This can be done by your very vocal appreciation of her movements, her body and your moans and groans. This isn’t the time for over-sentimentality, professions of undying love or crying jags. If you shed tears, she’ll wonder who the real woman is -- her or you.
Be warm and generous:
There’s something nice about staying the night. And whether you like to admit it, there should be cuddling. Many women do enjoy this, and most men do as well.
However, if you prefer your space, learn to read the signs, or give some indication that your intentions are to please her immensely. If she invites you to her place and she mentions how she will need to get up early in the morning or that she is a troubled sleeper, she’s telling you that it’s more than OK with her for you to leave after both of you are glistening with sweat and smiling like loons.
If she tells you about this great coffee place down the street that she visits every morning, she may be telling you that she would like you to stay for breakfast. Your response should be honest. Women can and will interpret much more than they ought to.
If she suspects that you’re dissembling she will probably resent you. Your best play is to be gently upfront with her. Let her know what your intentions are. Work, appointments and life keep revolving and sometimes have to take priority. Just make sure she knows that you want to see her again, and make sure your words follow through with action.
A great first experience will invite a second, third and fourth.You can help to insure your success by following the guidelines above. Don’t forget about the little things. If she winds up staying the night, get her a glass of water and place it next to the bed. Leave the bathroom light on and the door slightly ajar so she can find her way in the middle of the night. Keep a soft, clean bath towel for her to use and offer her a T-shirt to sleep in. These details will help her see that you care enough to want to see her again. She won’t feel like a one-night stand, especially when you want her to come again.
