I know in my last blog I spoke about being strong, holding myself high and being positive. Well yesterday I spent the day out of town in the hospital for some routine treatments, to have some things taken care of, and also because I am very ill right now.
I was a bit humbled by what a new staff member said to me. She was taken aback that I was 'so young' and yet had such an extensive list of health complications and active medications, and was in an obvious amount of pain, yet I was smiling. 13 active medications, she read off. She'd look at me and back at my files, and then at my mother.. "So young"... she said, "and look how bright and pink you are, it brings out your spirit". Pink being my trademark color, of course.
A bit later on I had to have some education on a new treatment I am going to be given, and it's high risk of me developing lymphoma because of how advanced my disease is and whatnot. This is the first I've heard of a high risk of cancer for me, but apparently it's something I must heavily monitor for now. So naturally now I must be careful and make sure all my meds are taken to schedule, all my infections are cleared up before I go back on the suppressants, TNF-blockers, etc. He wasn't so thrilled that I got my nose pierced but he was pleased that I was taking good care of it and cleaning it a thousand times a day. :P
I received the new medication today but I am not to start it until my infection clears up, at risk of developing an even more serious infection. So hopefully by next week, my body will start returning to some small form of normalcy.
I had my knees worked on a bit yesterday. Drained, injected, poked, prodded, and somethin to do with a spur in the right one. Of course I never actually watch, ugh, that's creepy. There's all kinda instruments all up in my kneecapular areas. lol. I don't wanna see that. Well my mom watched and she was amazed that I didn't flinch, actually so was the doctor. Honestly, I'm just used to it. She told me how strong I was and that she didn't know if she could have been so brave, especially with everything I have been going through physically and emotionally the past month or two, and the doctor said 'neither do I, it's gotta be painful, give yourself some credit'.
I really don't see myself as strong as everyone else seems to, for me it's just a second-nature part of life, really.
I'm young and I'm scared a lot, but I'm trying to be strong...
So I gotta stay grounded for a day or two... I'm bored out of my mind and in a good deal of pain. Someone call or text me, lol.
