SEXYSWEETADDICTION's blog: "YOU...."

As I sit and wonder

How did my life get here

Then I realize there's a pattern

of jumping blindly with no fear

Why do I keep doing this

I should have learned by now

I've got to make a drastic change

But I don't know if I know how

So many years of screwing up

Has really taken its toll

All my life on self destruct

I've got to get this under control

So messed up, don't know where to start

Too old to keep up this life

This cold reality is tearing me apart

Gotta get my life going straight

For my kids sake and for mine

Sad to look back through and see

So many years of wasted time

To caress your body next to mine

in ways I've only dreamed

together in the moonlight

My heart beats so I cannot speak

To kiss your lips so soft and warm

to taste of candy sweet

exploring face forbidden till now

my heart beats so I cannot speak

The passion that we share tonight

is greater than the sea

the stars of above the love below

my heart beats so I cannot speak

Now years have come and years have gone

since the first time you gave yourself to me

and even now when we make love

my heart beats so I cannot speak

I look into my grey abyss of nothingness

Down, deeper, drawn, pulled

Slowly, sinking, there is nothing, no feelings exist,

all emotion gone...A hollow heart, an empty hand

Nowhere to turn, no place to go..Help me, bring me up,

pull me out. No one to hear, I am falling

Numbness, death,  all hope is gone. Nothing is there,

I am alone..No one cares, no one listens. Falling, 

falling away from everything, everyone

Pain,  intolerable pain..clutching, grabbing, only empty air

Ever existing, never stopping, forever going

Lost, gone, no more...Silent tears fall, no reason

Take me away, hold me tight

Pull me close, never leave

Please....help

The end of life is close at hand

I don't know how much more I can stand

It gets more depressing everyday

Sometimes I just want it all to go away

Oh how I wish my life wasn't so sad

I wish there was once a love I had

why does love treat me so unkind

why can't lonliness just leave me behind?

I'm tired of having to pretend

sometimes I wish my lonely life would end

why can't life and love just give me a chance

to find some happiness and a little romance

We have a song that fits so right,

I think about you day and night.

I love you and you love me,

I know that this was meant to be.

I want this feeling to last forever,

Cause we were meant to be together.

When it was gloomy, you shed the light,

You always seem to make things right.

You mean all the world to me,

I only wish that you could see.

I want this feeling to last forever

Cause we were meant to be togethe

Once again, I lay curled up, alone in my bed

thinking and dreaming of you.

How I long to have you lying here, right beside me,

holding me and loving me.

To hear the gentle ryythm of your breath

to feel your heart beating

to feel your warm hard body next to mine.

This is what I dream of every night

as I lie alone in bed.

Vision me as your grand piano, a baby grand...

All keys anxiously await the touch of your hands

Let me by you music notes, arranged on the sheet...

Both hi and low will make your melody complete

Hold me like a guitar, gentle yet steady...

Begin to play it whenever you're ready

I desire to be the flute that greets your lips...

I long to feel the softness of your fingertips

My heart beats like a drum whenever you are near...

The tone of your voice whispers harmony to my ears

Escape into my arms, meet me beneath the cover...

I'll be your music piece, and you'll be my...instrumental lover

I have dreamed of what it would be like

to be held by you

from morning til night,

night til morning

To awaken and still have you next to me,

the thought makes me shiver,

the thought makes me smile

I have dreamed of kissing you to sleep and watching

you sleep til the early dawn..memorizing by touch

every inch of your body

Then to satisfy my own desire, I would kiss you awake,

and to hold, and touch you, and kiss you back to sleep

And, I too would rest and awaken in your arms

by the morning sun, my love

When night has closed and all is dark

And the world just seems so cold and stark,

You hold someone and it feels so right,

To share some time into the night,

I touch you hair so soft and fine,

Kiss your lips as sweet as wine,

I don't want to let go or release,

For in your arms, I feel such peace.

Your quiet way has stirred my heart,

I think of you when we're apart,

In memory of thoughts so clear,

In quiet moments of joy and cheer.

Forgive my thoughts, a romantic way

To dream of you each waking day,

You've touched my heart and I might find,

You've cooled the fears inside my mind.

Things aren't always what they seem,

Feelings are often a fantastic dream,

A touch from you my thoughts will seal,

Wake me now, let this be real.

To spend timeless moments with you,

Wishing that each would last for eternity;

To speak by just the mere touch of your fingertips,

To gaze into your eyes and see my whole life in each

delicate sparkle.

To know the feelings of complete lonliness whe we

are apart,

but to overcome it knowing the love I have for you in my heart.

To want for nothing, for you are all my needs and desires;

to lie awake at night and see charades of you in my eyes,

to know the worth of life as I hold you in my arms;

To shutter at the mere thought of not having you again;

to say now and my lifetime through...

I will love you always....