Hi my name is Kaviar.
Yes, I am aware that the chances that anyone will actually reads this is pretty rare.... and I'm sure already with a quick glance at my music list and my pictures...AND MAYBE AFTER READING A BLOG OR TWO AND THE INCESSANT BULLETINS I KEEP POSTING..... You already have a million and one of your own opinions about me...HOWEVER.....
...I Know Who I Am...
Well....at least i'm starting to learn...
And I don't need an autobiography to tell you that…But I felt I should explain myself any ways….
My addictions include: (and not necessarily in this order)
-music
-attention
-cherrytap/lost cherry
-myspace?
-Hip Hop
-women
-sex
-porn
-sweets
-parties
I think I may have ADD at times…among a bunch of other things...but….
I'm not ashamed of who I am though.
There is a reason why I do the things I do…..I am constantly making the most retarded decisions of my life….I always feel like I'm not saying enough...And then get to the point where I say too much……
I wish there were a way to express everything I felt at each and every specific moment of my life…..But that is impossible…..
Partying is my hobby….Music is my passion….porn to me….Is like experiencing the actual sex….without having to deal with the other person's drama…no connections….no strings….I don't even have to talk to her afterwards….or beforehand….or during…..just let me bust one (bitch)….and be on your way….even if I have to live vicariously through the hump she has smashing her on screen….
I don't know how I became that way…it is pretty obvious that I'm bitter and jaded…..yet still a voyeur…..I BLAME MEMPHIS CHIX……I was very happy until I came here….and at this point….leaving wouldn't make it better…..the damage is done…..
I would much rather view the world through a lens for the rest of my life then have to face it on my own….Even the ugliest picture can be edited and manipulated to become a beautiful masterpiece.....
I wish life was really as simple as that….
I am not ashamed….of my vices…..superfluities….and idiosyncrasies…... I look at my weaknesses as art….And I am comfortable to show them off…. apparently
Look at my pictures…..No, I'm not a whoremonger….Get your facts right…..and please don't get it twisted that I only like white girls…..I'm so tired of hearing that….I just haven't met very many black ones….and I date/fuck from my social circle….Pay attention…. Every once in a while…..You might just learn something.
I tend to be a flirt…….It doesn't mean I like you….. I just respond to everyone's
personalities differently……
No…..I don't like your band…….I don't want your girlfriend……unless I actually do….and then….God help us all…..
I sing in the shower…. I love to sing & dance…..especially in public…..And while experiencing….a sugar high ….and sometimes laugh so hard I choke…..
I fancy myself…..but when I look in the mirror…..I hate what I see….not because of the physical…….because that can be altered….but for what I've let myself become….
I'm not about to sit here and tell you I'm a good person at heart….because I'm not….
Don't ever fall for me……Chances are….I'll break your heart….
Lord knows Ive been let down by everyone…..but I "Man Up" quite frequently.
I care about entirely too many people……and I get attached waaaaaaaay to easily………yet….I sometimes wonder if anyone at all cares about me…..
"I can count my true friends on one hand"
I don't believe anyone could have put it any better….that is….because the few people that I love and can trust mean more to me than anything else in the world…..but very seldom is that love reciprocated….and don't get me started on the peeps I thought I befriended….that I showed love to when they fell on hard times …..but I was rejected, ostracized, and rebuked when I needed them…
But anyway….I don't know what I would do without my true friends….I may not have many…..But its about quality, not quantity……Keep that in mind…..I may be one to forgive….but trust me on this…..I never forget…so…Yes, I care what people think about me,….It is just one of my many flaws….but one I'm working overtime to correct….
I don't care if you are the best thing sense sliced bread…..I don't care if you think your skills….your deals…..or your experiences…are better than mine…..
No….my life isn't the best…..And neither is yours …we all fall short before the Glory…..n'aah mean?
But I am brutally honest….Sorry bout that….Yes, you probably have it nicer than me for now……And yes, your _____ might be ______er than mine…..Get over it...I have….
I don't care if you have 50million+ friends……It doesn't mean I want or need to be one of them
So with that being said,……
Hi, my name is Kaviar…..
And its really nice to meet you......
