You Might Be a Member of the Taliban if...
10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
9. You own a $1000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't
afford shoes.
8. You have more wives than teeth.
7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your
robe.
4. You've ever been asked, "Does this burka make my a$$ look fat?"
3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting
off roadside bombs.
2. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
1. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.