you might be from parma if?!?!!?
Current mood: tired
Category: Life
You Know Your From Parma When.....
you know you're from parma when... Half your friends work at Marc's and the other half don't work. You don't know where the ghetto is but you know it exists since half the kids from your school live there. Everybody tries to pimp out their automatic Cavaliers like they're hot.. Every other lawn is decorated wilth chrome balls or windmills. When Wal-Mart is connected to the mall .You move to the country and have a pond bigger than your whole lot .You get lost walking 3 blocks over to your friend's house because the guy who designed the side streets let his 4 year old son draw the plans for them .All you see are shopping plazas .There are more masses held in Ukranian than there are in English . Pierogies are often used as currency. There is a pizza shop within walking distance. Jimmy Sentz is your hero. Anything you need, you know you can get from Parmatown .You think that Marc's is secretly run by the Mob .You saw Marc Glassman in public and were disappointed that he didn't have a parrot on his shoulder like in the cartoons. Everyone in your town goes to Myrtle Beach for vacation. You know where to find the BK Lounge .You drink pop. . . soda doesn't exist unless its orange. Your city bird is the flamingo but you've only seen them at the zoo. You have 3 high schools for one city .You have fish fries and/or pierogies every Friday. All the places you can hang out after a Friday night football game are right across the street from Byers aka. . .Denny's or Taco Bell. The word Polcar strikes fear in your heart .There's a church on every corner. . . right across from a bar. You can find absolutely nothing to do You can walk into Denny's at any time day or night and know at least half of the people eating and at least half of the workers .Big ghetto vans are cool. When you're driving on the roads, you feel like you're white water rafting because it's so bumpy and crappy. The snow plow never comes down your street .It could be Alaska weather and you still wouldn't get a snow day. . .unless it's in April .The one side of the street is bumper to bumper cars. You're never ever really sure if you should be shopping at Tops or Giant Eagle and now kind of wish the two were connected so that you wouldn't have to drive across the parking lot just to finish buying groceries. You thought Chris Rock was absolutely hilarious until you realized he was referring to your mall when he was talking about "the mall white people used to go to". You actually go to the high school football games not to see the band or the football team because they both tend to suck. You go because it's a huge social event. You leave Parma. . .well you never really leave Parma. . .you're always drawn back somehow. You know who Ondo is!!! When you know what hybrid stereotypes are. Ghetto meets goth in one person, as if both weren't scary enough. You deny the fact that you are from Parma when someone brings up how ''cool'' the 2 kids on MTV's Real World/ Road Rules are. You're used to crossing 4 lane roads on the back nine of a golf course. The phrase "lake effect snow" strikes fear in your heart, You know what lake effect snow is. You wear white socks with everything. . .especially Adidas sandals .You thought it was the whitest town ever until you looked across Broadview Road and saw Seven Hills. While figuring out what direction you're heading, you refer to Broadview Road and Pleasant Valley .You STILL can't figure out where Pearl intercects what street Valley Who? Parma What? And Invade This! Every place you shop at is off Ridge Road. There's a bowling alley within walking distance .You think you can find a shortcut through side streets and you end up farther away from your destination. The only thing you know about NEOEA day is that you don't have to go to school. At any given time nearly 99% of your city's cops are all sitting at Java Joe's at Ridge and Pleasant Valley, all on coffee break, all together, all at the same freakin' time. With that said, speed all you want! Cops often sit parked in dead ends just waiting to catch you speeding or making a rolling stop. You've seen Parma Police swarm a guy speeding like a bee swarms that dumb guy that throws rocks at the beehive. You tell people who aren't from Ohio that you're from Parma, they say, "Oh, like the Drew Carey song!" You can live on the same street as someone living in Parma Hts. then turn the corner and you're in Parma again. Polish jokes aren't considered offensive, because chances are, the person telling it is Polish. You wish that you could read Ukranian so you could understand what the heck 2/3 of the businesses on State Road are selling. You remember leaving PSH's parking lot every day and you would pass "The Captain's" house - the guy who would drive around in that blue open top car with a captain's hat on. You go to Parmatown Mall to just walk around and then leave.You wonder if your May wedding will have snow or sweltering heat. You know the bird flu has hit parma when you see a bunch of pink flamingos flopped over on your lawn. You and some friends drive through State Road's drunk driving checkpoint completely sober, just to see what actually goes on over there .You join a group called you know you're from Parma when. . . You know you're from Parma when Marc Glassman has control over your pay rate and his mother has yelled at you for taking too many days off. You associate every other city around Cleveland in 30 minutes distance from you when actually it could be an hour or more from your house .The only reason you ever get exctied to come back to Parma is at night when you're coming back from North Royalton, and that's only because Parma has street lights. Half the cars in the city, whether they're Cavaliers or busted up vans, still have neons underneath them or decals on the front window. People come from only 2 areas - those that live "on top of the hill" and those that don't People ask you where you live and you say Cleveland just to make it sound better Oddly enough, many of your friends' last names end in "ski" Your mall has a store that has rims and neons for Cavaliers You're starting to cope with the fact that you're becoming a minority to the foreign community You end each sentence with "I'm so sure" It's the dead of winter, -5 degrees with like 11 inches of snow, and you wake up to find that EVERY school system is closed EXCEPT for Parma City Schools Some kid in your chem class sees you with socks and flip flops on and says, "It must be a Parma thing" You walk in to Southpark Mall for the first time and you automatically say, "Man, this place is huge" Everyone works at dairy queen You know that school won't be closed due to snow, but you still insist on sitting infront of the tv for an extra 20 minutes. . .hoping Somebody from the east side makes fun of you for living there, and you secretly get offended You call Tri-c West "The University of Southern Parma" You move to a different state and are shocked that they don't sell pierogies at the grocery store. In fact, nobody even knows what a pierogi is! Every high school and junior high shares the same football field on Friday night There are two streets named Stratford within 5 minutes of each other in two different cities You forget what it's like to drive on a road without construction You can't roll houses because there are no trees You're on the Parma border when Seven Hills cops are swarming Broadview waiting to pull you over for something totally retarded The St. Charles Carnival is one of the best things to do over the summer One of your parks used to be a missle silo during the Cold War and the name of it keeps changing. . .Nike Site-Nike Park-James W. Day Park Zero Zest, Super Kream, or Honey Hut is your favorite ice cream shop! Zero Zest is your summer employment if you're between ages 15 and 21. . . and you're a girl When everyone MUST have a system in their car, even if it is stock, and you have to turn it up just to blast your rap music You know that the pirates vs. ninjas debate originated in Parma, and you take it more seriously than any where else You move to the south and when you say "mom," they tell you that YOU have an accent You dont have to think about where they came up with the street name Amrap You have been woken up by a marching band at 8:30 in the middle of summer vacation
