You have more fingers than you do teeth
You cut your grass and find a car
You consider Denny's a Fancy Resturant
Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors
Your age is higher than your I.Q.
Your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?"
You ask your wife wheather the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies "Its a gummy bear."
You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up.
You say "Watch this" everytime before you goto the hospital.
Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve
.Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard.
Your coat-of-arms features kudzu
.Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Your best ashtray is a turtle shell. 252.
Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
You think cur is a breed of dog.
People hear your car long before they see it.
Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
You think A lesbian is a person from the Middle East
you deer hunt out of the family van
If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain
If you work without a shirt on and so does your husband
If you have more than three talking fish in your house
If directions to your house include "turn off the paved road
If you've been on tv more than 5 time describing what the tornado sounded like
If your dad walks you to school because your in the same Grade
If everyday someone comes to your house thinking your having a yardsale
If youve ever financed a tattoo
If youve ever gone to a family reunion to meet women,
If youve ever seen a sign that says "say no to crack" and it reminds you to pull you jeans up
If the UFO hotline limits you to one phone call per day
If going to th bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight
If people have asked to hunt in your front yard
If you have an above ground pool and you fish in it
If youve ever been too drunk to fish,
If you own a home that is mobile and 10 cars that aren't
If youve been married 4 times and still have the same inlaws
If your underware doubles as your swimming trunks
If you think the nut cracker is something you did off the high dive
If somebody hollars hoedown and your girlfriend hits the floor
If your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture
If your wife has ever said " come move this transmision so I can take a bath"
If you wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't
If your dog passes gas and you claim it
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