The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway..
Your sense of direction=Toward the ocean and away from the ocean.
You eat an In n Out burger at least once a week!!!
You know how to eat an artichoke.
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
Your car has bullet-proof windows.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You can't find your other earring because your son/brother is wearing it.
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
Your family tree contains "significant others."
You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
More than clothes come out of the closets.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.
You consult your horoscope before planning your day.
