17. You can jump start your car without cables.
16. You answer the door before people knock.
15. You get a speeding ticket even when you are parked.
14. You've worn out your third pair of shoes this week.
13. Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze.
12. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
11. You can type sixty words per minute -- with your feet.
10. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
9. You sleep with your eyes open.
8. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
7. Instant coffee takes too long to make.
6. You channel surf faster without the remote.
5. You don't sweat... you percolate.
4. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
3. You short out motion detectors.
2. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
and last but not least...
1. The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake!
