Two Months In The Cover Creases
Yesterday was the day i touched the bottom of my well...I fell so hard yesterday. I cried for an hour, and i had the migraine to prove it.
I cant bear the way this is making me feel. So out of control. I hate being out of control. I hate not knowing what im doing in a month, in a week, the very next day...15 minutes from now. I need him home so bad, but yet, theres still something....and im suffering so terribly because of it. Being this way terrifies me. I think so irrationally when im hysterical, the way i was. Screaming, crying, dying. Im still rotting inside...but now im almost completely empty...completely lost...completely alone...
Yesterday felt like i was drowning. Like i had been thrown into a deep pool, and i didnt know how to swim, and all i was doing was breathing in more and more water. Suffocating. thats what it feel like...im suffocating.
The empty shape inside of me, steals my breath, im suffocating.
I didnt realize how alone i was, until yesterday...when everything came spilling out. Everything came spilling out, putting more weight on my shoulders...weighing me down...making me drown just a little bit more...like a rope tied around my ankle, with a cement block bringing me to my watery grave.
