Have you ever wondered what Santa does with the rest of the 364 days of the year, or better yet how can he afford to supply all those kiddies with the toys.
I know you are thinking, he has those Elves making the toys (yes, that is true)but he still has to pay for the supplies doesn't he.
Well I will tell you how!
I recently stumbled into a strip club way up north called 'THE POLE' and this was no ordinary strip club for all the dancers were little people. At first I thought that it was some kind of gimmick, of course that was untill I saw that white bearded fat man sitting in that back counting money. I asked one of the pint sized waitresses "Who was the man in that back of the room" but she must have miss heard me for she said back to me "so you want to see the man about the back room". Well I just agreed and she told me all I had to do was say the pass words to the bearded man. I slipped a fifty into her tiny G-string (really, I floss my teeth with thicker threads) and she wispered the words in my ear with that sweet peppermint breath and for a moment I could almost taste her candy kiss.
Well I figured that can wait for I have to see what is in the back room, so I slammed back my whisky and cola and off I went. When I reached the jolly fat man (who really didn't seem that jolly) I cleared my throat so that he would look up at me. Without even batting an eye, he asked me "so young man, have you been naughty or nice" and I responded "naughty Sir, and I would like to have my 'Kris Kringled' if you don't mind. Well his resonse was "one or two" and I have always had better luck with the number 2 than I have had with number 1, so I said "I think two will do". As per his request I dropped down $400.00 onto the table and headed through the door. Well I was delightfully suprised to see room after room of the most beautiful ladys that I have set my eyes on (or it could have been the whisky glasses I was wearing).
Sorry I can't tell you what happened after that because I just dont have enough time right now and I should get to the point of the story.
After my fun in the back room was over I headed back to the main bar for more whisky. I started chatting with one of the 'big mans' elves and he turned out to be the head one at that. Well in his drunken slurry he said that the funniest thing at the North Pole was that Santa's famous saying the "HO..HO..HO.." really came from the time he called out to one of his ladys and this was his exact words "YO...HO...BLOW!".
I guess that tells you, that when you are drunk, you will hear what you want to hear!
