I know they say that you have muck through alot of the assholes to find that one, perfect guy...but you know...every let down, every rejection,every slap in the emotional face...that saying will NEVER EVER justify the pain. It will never, ever make it hurt any less.
What you see...is what I put on for you to see. What I want you to see. Rarely, do I ever care enough to even let you in. But you know...I do. And guess what? I'm always the one to get fucked over for it. For wanting to be wanted. It never fails. Ever.
And you. You know who the hell you are and what the hell you did. You know, like I told you, I respect the fact that you had the damn decency to tell me up front and not play me...but of all fucking people. Really...Thats like really slapping me across the face.
When I was willing to make it work...despite the distance...despite everything and here you go, making me feel used. Like I said...its nothing new. Its nothing I don't expect and maybe thats why you decided what you did...I don't know but can you honestly expect me to think that you went back because of your feelings? Ha! In the whole time we talked...all the bad shit that happened...and you decide to go back. What? Are you a glutton for punishment? The same shit will happen that happened before. I can promise you that and chances are the only reason she was up your ass as much as she was was because she knew you were talking to someone else.
'Gotta grab him back before someone else does.'
Right, I hardly believe it. But you know what is more believable...that you're scared. You put on this bullshit front about being hard, about being all tough and when it comes down to it, you go back to what is familiar. You go back and try to make something work that WILL NEVER WORK. You know it. I know it...I'm just the only one sitting here willing to admit it. Willing to push it in your face because Lord knows you won't see it.
Here I was and you knowing how I felt about you and you still turned around and dropped it.
Thanks.
You've made your bed...and now you've got to lie it.
Good luck.
