COMMODORE'S LOG STARDATE 30 NOVEMBER 2008
I've began thinking... alot....
For those of you who know me well you already know I obliterated my car in June and came close to dieing in the process, and since then I've been a changed man... Although I may never drive again (out of personal choice) I've made my way through town pondering like I always do.
The Last Entry that was featured on this Xanga Blog, and copied into my Myspace, Facebook, and Fubar blogs that I do believe I titled "9 In The Afternoon" I addressed the fact of feeling unaccepted. My opinions changed. I am more accepted than I wonce thought. When the Fall Semester of College began this year it started on a sour note. My Border Collie Barney died on the first day of school which made me think that this was gonna be another year of crap on a more Grandiose scale as I had a dead dog, legal problems, and other shit going on that could be detramental to my mental and physical health as well as my potential as a future History Teacher - but something for some strange reason on the first day of school convinced me to try out for the Fall Play (despite Rick Kuebler not being there anymore, and my sheer frustration that I had building up still from the last production I was in) and to make a long story short I do believe it started my new clique (The Drunken Cowboy Posse is now spread across the Western U.S. and therefore isnt all at NJC anymore) so I began hanging out with the likes of Darth Gibbles and some of the other people that now constitute my clique including old SHS peeps like Saint Pattywacker who we all thought went insane and dropped off the face of the earth years ago... This really boosted my morale and made me feel more accepted for the first time since about Fall Semester of my Senior Year at SHS. Also the play did wonders for feeling accepted by women. I am currently dating one of my fellow Actors - Caroline, and to tell you she is AMAZING! I dont know how or why I was stupid enough to believe Christa was ever the one because being with Caroline is so wonderful! She and I have had similar life experiences and therefore she is perfect for me! I intend to marry her someday in the near future - and yes this time all will go right unlike with Christa because Caroline has told me the only way this relationship will end is if I walk out or if I kick her out which would never happen anyway....
So with all working well I have realized that I'm more accepted than thought... sometimes pondering life, no matter how rash we have to be when we do so can help us realize the things we dont see at one point in life can be overly obvious in a later time - with God as my witness I will from now on believe I have a purpose!
:::swan:::
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