Irreplaceable's blog: "Tidbits of random things"

So here I am at mamas' and its been a pretty eventful day I suppose. The typical hustle and bustle of making sure we have everything as we run out the door 20 minutes late.. well on time for us. The long drive out full of kids rambling and then everyone but goof falling asleep.. well he was driving I'd hope he wasn't falling asleep. Then of course Mama calls everyone to find out if we're there yet. LOL Of course Brat's reply is... "Do you see us in the driveway...... then no we're not there!". How's that for hilarious sarcasm at it's best?

So, once here its kids going ballistic and us rushing off shopping with Mama. That was a trip in itself! Mama.. Brat... and I, in WalMart attempting to behave. HA! We did though. No cursing anyone out.. no tantrums... no aggervation... no threatening to kill anyone. Aren't you proud of us all? *hands out cookies to everyone* You KNOW you are!!!! (bribery always works by the way, in getting YOUR way.)

So we'll fast forward through all the playing, dinner and the movie. Okay so maybe we'll stop at the movie, Marley and Me. TWO THUMBS UP! Not really much of a kids movie though... more of a hyterical, tear jerking, love story. I was throughly impressed. Mama even teared up a time or two but refused to admit it. Pftt.. I know my eyes got watery at a few points.

So, back to where I was going with this. I walked outside afterwards and sat on Mama's swing, and there was.................................................








NOTHING!


Absolute silence! Well okay so there was the hum of household stuff running and crickets and well... wild ucky turkeys in the background. But, I was imediately thrown into flashbacks. I missed home at that very instance. With every puff of my Newport a new memory flashed through my head. When I say flashed back I mean as far back as my childhood. The wind blew just right and the chill brought me back about fifteen years ago when I would "cut" school and run off to hide in my Aunt's cellar to go back to sleep on the couch she kept down there. I would sleep down there til around noon, freezing my tail off, and then spend the rest of the day munching on whatever she had stored in the deep freeze that could be microwaved. I think she secretly would send my Uncle down there when he was in trouble. I mean seriously.. who keeps a couch, pillows, blankets, a tv (cable equipped), a microwave, and food that can be cooked in that microwave, and have a half bath installed in the CELLAR?!?!?!

Anyhow, I almost veered off again into thinking about that.

So, then my brain switched focus again to my teenage years of walking home in the pitch black, no noise around, and freezing cold because once again I had decided to walk out of yet another foster home earlier and was now done with my partying and was bored enough to go back. I can't say I was fond of the feeling I had then.. nor was I know just remembering.

I hated that time in life.

Then I slipped into the pier. I loved the pier back home in Spencer. It was a god-made small lake on top of a mountain. Not many people realized it was even there which made it even better. I used to go up there late at night with a blanket and just lay on the floating dock, stare at the stars and wonder where life was leading me. I still haven't figured out where it has me headed.

Maybe I should go find those stars again and question them til they dim out.

So remembering how that felt and almost smelling the lake and barely hearing the water ripple... I heard the swing springs creak. That snapped me back to reality a bit. Notice I said a "bit"?! I looked up into the sky and sadly those stars were hiding behind all the clouds. I don't know if I should take that as a bad omen or what. I don't think I am though. I sat back and just continued to stare at those clouds until another odd though plopped into my itty brain.

When I'm 70 will I once again have myself in a position where i'm in the same type of enviroment to where I'll have those same kind of flashbacks and this one will be included? Will I still be sitting on a swing by myself freezing and enjoying it, smoking on a newport while my oxygen is running, drinking a mountain dew that I snuck out while my children are sleeping in their beds with their significant others? Or, shall I be sitting on a swing wrapped in a blanket, puffing on my newport, drinking my dew but snuggled next to the man of my dreams that I found somewhere in my wild life?

I think, I think too much.

OH OH OH.. SHIT! Time to call Tim back!

TBC.....

Steph





Speaking of talking to Tim.. giggles as I post this I'm talking to him again