Loved Is Just A Word
April 9th, 2002
More and More each day
Someone says that they feel loved
When they all show me what it is,
I'll believe what they say
But until then
Loved is just a word
Loved is just a word
Words mean nothing to the world
Every time some one utters it
I just think it's another word
Loved is just a word
Explain it all to me
Why do we use this word as if it's free?
Love comes with a price and a gain
Not everyone can win in that game
Love doesn't matter,
But why does this word matter?
Loved is just a word
Words mean nothing to the world
Every time some one utters it
I just think it's another word
Loved is just a word
Some day I might feel it
Some day I just might believe it
Some day I might show it
But until that day when I die
It'll only be a word to me
Loved is just a word
Words mean nothing to the world
Every time some one utters it
I just think it's another word
Loved is just a word
Just a word
Just
Just a word to me
Ice Cold Heart
April 9th,2002
With vengence on his mind
He looked deep in to his soul
Reached down into his heart
When he found what he was looking for
He realized it was ice cold
He never saw it coming
He negelected to show it
But he had a heart
A heart that was ice cold
He had an ice cold heart
( Ice Cold )
He thought he had a heart of gold
( Heart of Gold)
But he had an ice
Ice cold heart
When the first person he hurt
Was the only friend he had
He turned to different point
He went in the wrong direction
If there's anything to save him
Then he has to do it now
Or else he will always have
An ice cold heart
( Ice Cold )
He never thought he'd fall apart
( Fall apart )
But he has an ice cold heart
When the day finally comes
When he has to show his true self
He just might make it
They all pray for him now
But if there was an answer
It lies within him and his power
Because he doesn't want an
Ice cold heart
He wants to show his heart
He wants to know he's needed
He needs to be shown his hearts right
With some who can thaw his heart
Take A Look Around
April 13th, 2002
When the whole world is on your case
Take a look around and feel my embrace
When everything falls apart
Take a look around and find my heart
When you open your eyes
Take a look and see my smile is not a surprise
When you're clouded by judgement
Take a look around and feel I'm not redundant
Just take a look around
You never know what you might see
Just take a look around
Then I hope you might see me
Just take a look around
Open your eyes and be free
I knew when
That perfect light hit inside of me
Everything has to be seen
No one wants to be like Charlie Sheen
Just take a look
You never know what may lay beneath
Now it's time
Time for you to look
Just take a look around
Just take a look around
You never know what you might see
Just take a look around
Then I hope you might see me
Just take a look around
Open your eyes and be free
I'll be your huckleberry
If you'll be my princess
I'll give you everything including me
Just let me show you my feelings are priceless
Just take a look around
You never know what might be found
Just take a look around
You never know what you might see
Just take a look around
Then I hope you might see me
Just take a look around
Open your eyes and be free
Just take a look around
You never know what you might see
Just take a look around
Then I hope you might see me
Just take a look around
Open your eyes and be free
Just take
Just
Just take a
Just
Just take a look
Just
Just take a look around
Just take a look around
You never know what you might see
Just take a look around
Then I hope you might see me
Just take a look around
Open your eyes and be free
All I want is a look around
Every Time (Alone)
April 8th 2002
Every time I see her eyes,
It makes me wonder why
Every time I feel her skin
I just want to be there again
Every time she's alone
I have to be there to make her feel at home.
Every time, every day
Alone is all that seems in the way
Every minute of every night
Her feelings may someday be right
Closer to the edge
I take this and all it's worth
Nothing gave a damn till now
Alone is all I look forward to
Every time, every light
That shines in her eyes
Makes me just wanna cry
Every time, every day
Alone is all that seems in the way
Every minute of every night
Her feelings may someday be right
Sometimes I feel forgranted
To have to wonder if it's imagined
Let me live, let me learn
Nothing to me is a sacrifice
Every day I see the shape
Every night I dream of the day
But alone is all I know
It just feels like...
Every time, every day
Alone is all that seems in the way
Every minute of every night
Her feelings may someday be right
Every time, every day
Alone is all that seems in the way
Every minute of every night
Her feelings may someday be right
Already Died
April 8th 2002
Welcome to the world
Everything here is so new
Nothing wants to give in to you
So here we stand with nothing left to prove
Spaced out for this time to be crude
We already died
Nothing is here at your side
We already died
Fear is all you have to hide
This is going to be the last time
For us to live for all time
So say what you will
Because this is all so real
We have something to look forward for
Watch us walk through the door
We already died
There's nothing left to hide
We already died
So why don't we begin to try?
We already died
Already died....No
Welcome to my life they said
Nothing is here on the inside we said
Forget all of the things that we know
Some fears might begin to show
Since we already died
There should be nothing left to hide
AJ
Past The Time
April 8th 2002
I'm just wasting time
Trying to pass the time
I'm just wasting life
Trying to deal with the strife
I feel apart has grown
Deep inside my life will be shown
But all I can do is pass the time
Pass the time
Everything in life is fine
Pass the time
It has all began to unwind
Pass the time
As I pass the time
I just sit and wonder why
Dramatic in the sway
Posing for the life affray
Nothing we can do will
Pass the time
Pass the time
Everything in life is fine
Pass the time
It has all began to unwind
Pass the time
As our watches stop
And all we know is lost
We sit in amazement
Of what was said
And of what was done
Yet no one seems satisfied
So all we do is pass the time
Pass the time
Everything in life is fine
Pass the time
It has all began to unwind
Pass the time
Pass the time
Everything in life is fine
Pass the time
It has all began to unwind
Pass the time
We just try to
Pass the time
We just cry to
Pass the time
We just lie to
Pass the time
In My Life
April 9th 2002
As I walk along these broken streets
I begin to realize what this could mean
Watchin' everythin' pass by me
No one can hear me
As the darkness falls on today
Lets hope that it's all just today
Cause in my life
I'm watching from the outside
In my life, I see this pain
In my life, I hear the screams
In my life, I wait as we all pass by
In my life, I see all of us cry
I might not understand
But you can show me the way
I might not wanna care
But you can show me this fear
If I leave before my life is over
Just tell me what I did was good
I never wanted to see the pain in you face
I just wanted everything to work
In my life, I see this pain
In my life, I hear the screams
In my life, I wait as we all pass by
In my life, I see all of us cry
When we all change
And nothing makes sense
No one will be here
In my life, no one is ever there
In my life, no one will ever care
In my life
In my life .........
In my life, I see this pain
In my life, I hear the screams
In my life, I wait as we all pass by
In my life, I see all of us cry
AJ
When She Cries
April 6th,2002
When she cries
It hurts me on the inside
When she lies
She knows she hurts her pride
If there was ever a time
That time would be now
She cries over something
Realizing that it's nothing
I try to assure
But I'm not so sure
When she cries
I feel a part of me die
When she tries
She knows it kills me inside
In time it will pass
Nothing can make it last
She cries....
She...
She cries herself to sleep
Inside, I begin to weep
I feel
I...
I feel like crying inside
Nothing is here for me to hide
Everything is to blame
I don't feel like losing this game
She cries on the outside
I cry on the inside
She cries on the inside
I die on the outside
AJ
Faded Man
April 16th,2002
As I woke up this morning
Listenin' to that same old song
I looked in the mirror
Said a lil prayer
Took a hot shower
Then recognized myself again
I'm a man
A very faded man
But I'm still a man
A faded man
Went to the office
About a half past three
Fell alseep for the rest of the shift
Woke up feeling refreshed
Looked at my life
Then I felt the strife
Because I'm nothing more than a man
I'm a man
A very faded man
But I'm still a man
A faded man
I've lived this life for so long
I tried to teach myself to forget and move on
But there's something holding
Something not wanting
This person was once a man
Who's life had a simple plan
But I realized
That I'm just a faded man
I'm just a man
A very faded man
But I'm still a man
A faded man
If you fade then don't complain
Nothing hurts worse than being a faded man
(No Working Title)
Shot down again
By another female friend
Why do I even try?
This all makes me wanna cry
There's not a damn thing I can do
Cause I'm so fucking blue
Tell me what I can do
To get myself back to you
(Why does it have to be her?)
She tries every time
To make me lose my mind
She tries so hard to make me lie
Yet she doesn't know why I cry
My life is spinning 'round
Like someone wh was lost and never found
I can't believe my life
I can't feel my pain anymore
I put my soul on the line
For her she knows I'd die
(Why does it have to be her?)
She tries every time
To make me lose my mind
She tries so hard to make me lie
Yet she doesn't know why I cry
I keep on losing
But I keep on trying
I keep on fighting
Yet I keep on climbing
I keep on falling
But yet I keep on failing
(Why does it have to be her?)
(WHY!!??)
AJ
Tomorrow
April 23,2002
As I Sit here by myself
Just writting this song like I normally do
I can't help but think of you
Although I know it's true
I swear to myself I wish it wasn't so cruel
I try and try to break free
But nothing will free me from these memories
We've all felt this way
Some of us will be affraid
So let's give in to today
And let tomorrow be it's own way
Just give in to tomorrow
If every now and then
I could just see again
I'd feel the caring from heaven
But she isn't too far away
I'm closer to her with every breath
This time around she won't be near
I only hope she can see my tears
We've all felt this way
Some of us will be affraid
So let's give in to today
And let tomorrow be it's own way
Just give in to tomorrow
As I closed the door on today
Turn the page to tomorrow
Someday I will know
Just how everything is meant to go
Until then....
I will give in
Give in
Give In TO
Give in to tomorrow
And let today be it's reminder
We've all felt this way
Some of us will be affraid
So let's give in to today
And let tomorrow be it's own way
Just give in to tomorrow
We've all felt this way
Some of us will be affraid
So let's give in to today
And let tomorrow be it's own way
Just give in to tomorrow
AJ
Lay Me Down
April 28th, 2002
When she finally speaks her peace
Then I know she will be at ease
There's nothing more for her to learn
She's just affraid she might crash and burn
But when she lays me down
I just want her to know that there'll never be a frown
I cannot reach her from here
All she needs to know is that I will be near
As she lays me down
She'll have to know this time around
She just has to know
As she lays me down
My life is incomplete without her around
As we turn to another time
We'll all have that special someone on our mind
It's always good to know
Sometimes feelings just never will be shown
While writing this I began to think
Nothing will give in to these feelings on the brink
If she would only understand
My feelings are deeper than the grains of sand
I just want her to lay me down
Down to sleep in this one horse town
As she lays me down
She'll have to know this time around
She just has to know
As she lays me down
My life is incomplete without her around
Sometimes late at night
I dream about her taking that flight
But we all know she won't
She has to someday
Clouded by the judgement of another
He mind slowly begins to plunder
But half of us wouldn't know
Cause half of us will never show
Only when we lay oursleves on the mind of the few
Then someday our feelings might come through
As she lays me down
She'll have to know this time around
She just has to know
As she lays me down
My life is incomplete without her around
As I lay me down
As I lay me down
As I lay me down....
Down to the ground
As I lay me down
Down
Down
As I lay me down
To the ground I go
AJ
Shadows
April 29th,2002
As the shadow stretches across the land
A darkness comes before our hands
Shades of gray turn to black
Our life lines are fading down the cracks
We sit here and ponder
About what makes us tick and wonder
Never thinking about how the shadows take everything down
And about how no one really likes clowns
Is this how it seems to be
Nothings real and we're incomplete
Most of us are blind to see
We only think of great memories
But as time sits and contracts
All of the shadows fade to black
AJ
Broken Down
May 8th, 2002
Just another time and place
She seems to just be another face
This time it's different
This time I want to mean it
There's nothing more that you can say
To take me away from all this pain
I hold it back
Yet I can feel my mind slipping off track
So why does it have to be this way?
Broken down and simply faded
Nothing more than a diversion that I created
Broken down, simply just misplaced it
Nothing more than a life worth shit
I try and try to get away
I want my feelings to become astray
You know it's wrong when it feels so right
You know that it's bad when you think about it all night
If I can only see just the mirror of revelation
Maybe some one can guide me through a sour nation
So why does it have to be this way?
Broken down and simply faded
Nothing more than a diversion that I created
Broken down, simply just misplaced it
Nothing more than a life worth shit
As I write for all of my reasons
My feelings won't change like the seasons
There's just one thing I have to know
Will your feelings ever show?
All I want is for this to be solved
I just don't want to get my heart involved
So tell me why
Just let me know why
So tell me why does it have to be this way?
Broken down and simply faded
Nothing more than a diversion that I created
Broken down, simply just misplaced it
Nothing more than a life worth shit
Broken down and spaded
Broken down and disorientated
Broken down, just broken down once again
AJ
Killing Me
August 17, 2002
It's a fight everyday
A fight I just can't win
It's a struggle just to breathe
Broken down is where I be
It's just a place to be
For me to be around
So no one can see
This killing in you
Is killing me
Hanging on to nothing
Praying for something
This killing in you
Is killing me
Just a little peace of mind
Swept behind the lines
Step inside the mind
Of the one you knew could be
Snap that thought
Of what was yet to be
Spinal fluid, drowing sorrow
This killing in you
Is killing me
Hanging on to nothing
Praying for something
This killing in you
Is killing me
Cast aside
Left here to die
Left here to die
Bring it to me
Bring it to me
Hanging on to nothing
Praying for something
This killing in you
Is killing me
Hanging on to nothing
Praying for something
This killing in you
Is killing me
Hanging on to nothing
Praying for something
This killing in you
Is killing me
Killing me
AJ
No title
Right here
Right now
I need this
Need this to stop
I can't deal with
Deal with this shit
Just wanna drop
Drop off this place
Place to where I'm
I'm not known
All alone
Siting here
All alone
By myself
Just wondering why
This is the way
The way I am
When I feel
Feel like I do
These things creep up
And scare me to death
So alone and desolate
Alone, synched by fate
All alone
Siting here
All alone
By myself
Just wondering why
This is the way
The way I am
They all leave me here
They don't care for the fear
Just to see me cry
Over nothing but
What's in the end
AJ
11 /17
Feeling so devastated.
Trying not to regret it.
Falling down this empty pit,
Into his arms, I let you go.
Forever forgeting I said I love you.
Tommorrow brings a new day.
Changing now is all that stays.
Chorus:
Where did you run?
Where did you hide?
When I came around,
You said Good-Bye
Changing like the seasons,
Writing for all the reasons.
Wishing on the stars,
Hoping from afar.
Seeing you
Is kiiling me,
Doubting that
You ever loved me
Chorus
Walking down your street
Seeing all the memories pass by me.
Everything is going black,
All the memories are coming back.
Seeing you
Is killing me.
Doubting that
You ever loved me.
Chorus 2x
Lost And Dispair
I came to trust
You looked in my eyes
There I left you
Broken and alone
Someday you'll know
That I wanted to let go
I came so long
And showed so much
But I hate this feeling
Of lostness and dispair
Standing there holding my hand
You gave me life
You gave me your hand
Taken away
Sorry to say
I didn't mean for it to hurt this way
I lived a life
Long ago
Once happy and successful
Now broken and alone
I wanted the world
And I tried to give it
With what I could
Smiling down
Showing me faith
Blinded by bitterness
Of lostness and regret
Standing there holding my hand
You gave me life
You gave me your hand
Taken away
Sorry to say
I didn't mean for it to hurt this way
Nothing can change
Life or what decisions we make
May the rest of damnation
Be a hazard to my soul
Don't take my words
And leave them softspoken
Just leave my wishes
For that's all that remains
Standing there holding my hand
You gave me life
You gave me your hand
Taken away
Sorry to say
I didn't mean to break a victim again
AJ M.10.04
June 21, 2004
Just feel like crying
Maybe thats what I need to do.
No real emotional support.
No friends that I can call.
Nothing changes day to day.
My life isn't worth much.
But it has to be what I make of it.
Untill then, no one will know me.
I just feel like crying.
Ashes Of Time
Siftin through the ashes
Just tryin to find a mind
Burnin through the blame
Starin in the mirror
Seein a shadow of a broken man
Holdin on the nothin
Ashes of time blow away
The ashes slowly drift away
Inconspicious to the light
Hiding from the pain
The ashes of time
Surely may come again
I was standin to far away
To see me fall apart
There were things I couldn't do
'Cause I didnt have the heart.
Sometimes I need a break
Just to find myself again
Holdin on to ashes
Ashes of a wasted life
The ashes slowly drift awaY
Inconspicious to the light
Hiding from the pain
The ashes of time
Surely may come again
I gave up dying
In order to fight
I gave up the fight
In order to live
I gave up living to survive
Now they're all dead to me
The ashes drift apart
So do the seeds of time
Life is now over
For the ashes swam deep within
Holdin on to nothin
But the ashes of time
Chance Sept. 7th, 2004.
You know...
Some of us never take the chance
But we won't give it the shot.
So how are we gonna know
When it's time to take the pot
How are you ever gonna know if you never chase the games of chance.
Sometimes I watch the rain fall
Chances are it'll happen again
Chances are I won't make it.
Chances are you will.
He drifted off to wonderland
Laid calmly in the winds.
As the rain fell on the midnight sky
he staggered silently up the stairs wiping away the tears
He said this whispering;
" Sometimes I watch the rain fal
Chances we'll never be again
Chances are I won't make it
Chances are you will"
Chances are she thinks about him
When the rain falls on the roof
They never knew what could be
They never gave each other the chance.
So chances are they'll never love another like they love each other.
Sometimes we watch the rain fall
Chances are we're starin' at the same storm
Chances are, I'll think of you.
Poem #1
Turn the hour glass over
When the sands run through
You'll be lost in the sea
Just think of the pain I gave you
I made you suffer
Made you suffer
I don't want to be this anymore
Let me walk out the door
No claims to fame.
My sands run out
So let me leave.
Sober Sorrows Sept. 7th, 2004
Went to the bar,
Had a smoke in my hand
Sat next to a man,
Drowning his sorrows in a double shot glass.
Asked the man calmy if he was alright.
He lifted his head and muttered these words....
I'm just drowning my sorrows
One shot at a time
The bottle is the only friend
A lonely man can need.
What's your name son I sputtered in reply.
He stared longingly at a picture of a beautiful gal.
He told me he loved her, and now that she's gone.
I reached for the bottle to solve my broken heart.
Now that I sit here I realize this....
She moved me in ways I never knew could
She loved me like no one else should
Oh, but she moved me like a flame in the wind.
Oh yes she moved me....
Listen to me young man...
I was once where you are
Drowning my sorrows in a bottle of vodka
Thinking my pain would widdle away.
Nights of sober sorrows for a shot from a bottle
That's all that could save me
But I was wrong, as are you....
The bottom of a bottle is no place to be
Just take the pain and put it to a melody
Life's just starting,
No need to give up already
The bottom of a bottle, is no place to be.
The Shape Mon., April 25th, 2005
Takin a look back at you
I never really know you at all
Thoughts of simple times and better days
Flood the memories with hate
Watch the clock turn time,
With a fist of a hand break the glass
Watch the shape break down to a glimpse of the past
You were nothing
We are nothing
I AM NOTHING
BREAK/ You need to be tought a lesson
FAKE/ You need to be brought down to size
Crushed/ Like your dreams I hate you so much
Broken/ You live isn't worth shit
This time I'm gonna get it right
You're fucked up and I don't give a damn
I wanna sift through your bones
And burn you until you decay
You left me hard for a fucked up laugh
You thought I was gone but the best is saved for last
It's my turn no bitch, no time to pass
BREAK/ You need to be tought a lesson
FAKE/ You need to be brought down to size
Crushed/ Like your dreams I hate you so much
Broken/ You live isn't worth shit
Wake up cunt you're gonna die.
Clocks out, Shape's broken
Your life is mine now
Walking dead couldn't save me now
You are nothing
We are nothing
I AM NOTHING
It's like that and over now slut
You broke my heart and I killed yours
BREAK/ You need to be tought a lesson
FAKE/ You need to be brought down to size
Crushed/ Like your dreams I hate you so much
Broken/ You live isn't worth shit
Moonlight Suicide
December 26th 2005
Moonlight on your face
Stars in your eyes
My heart is dying deep inside
I wanna let you free
But I can't seem to see
Why you make me feel your embrace
Moonlight hides our fears
Stars cover the sky in a blanket of sneers
Moonlight suicide is invisioned
My heart beating, it's imprisoned
I wanna see the world
I want to be all that I am
Next to nothing, lost with pain
Shivering from the trembles of your touch
I wanna be the man who takes your hand
Moonlight hides our fears
Stars cover the sky in a blanket of sneers
Moonlight suicide is invisioned
My heart beating, it's imprisoned
Spinning in a cirlce of emptyness
Watching time fly as I become heartless
Seeing you smile kills me now
So leave me be and set yourself free
The moonlight can't save me
Moonlight hides our fears
Stars cover the sky in a blanket of sneers
Moonlight suicide is invisioned
My heart beating, it's imprisoned
AJ Gordon
Running
July 18, 2006
Running from what haunts me
The night that's survived mocks me
Going back to the days of the old
Forgetting everything I've been told
Lost out on an open plane
She didn't mean to dig my grave.
Past all the times I've gone insane
Memories wake me alone in pain
Running back to past times
Making my mind up trying to be fine
But you haunt me
But you haunt me
Running to the pain inside
My mind leaves me, begginning to unwind
Back and forth to the depths of hell
Shaking and trembling your hands are dull
Lay with my by my side
Tell me everything will be alright
Force myself through another day
Torment is left, you can leave with dismay
Running back to past times
Making my mind up trying to be fine
But you haunt me
But you haunt me
You haunt me
You haunt me
Running back to past times
Making my mind up trying to be fine
But you haunt me
But you haunt me
