well things didn't go good, lets just say that avoidance is an issue that no amount of talking can fix, and while it is a shame I didn't think it would end like this. I've never regretted anything and now I'm just left searching for what it was I was supposed to learn from him. maybe it really is that you should know where your going with someone. oh I don't know, I just wish I could have atleast said goodbye in person. I feel like such a horrible person I know that his dying is not my fault, I know that us not talking is not my fault, but I still feel horrible I wish he wouldn't have done this or atleast had an explanation as to why he disregarded my wishes I never asked him to take care of me and I wish he never had
