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Jolavman's blog: "Worth a shot"

created on 10/23/2006  |  http://fubar.com/worth-a-shot/b17177

An attempt to vent

Whoever said "You are never too old to learn" must have been a very wise person. Over the last year, I have learned alot. Here is a small list: I've learned that when people die, you realize how much of a part of your life they were even if you denied it before. Never take time for granted. Never take people who care for you for granted. Truly caring people do not come around often. People who you love, are the people who will tear your heart out the worst. Whether they mean it or not. I've always been a passive person. Never really cared what people thought about me as long as I was happy with myself. But over the last two moths, a simple comment from one of kids has been able to send me into a deep depression. Those of you who know me also know how I feel about my children. They mean the world to me. I gave up alot and put up with alot over the last 11 years because of them. But I wouldn't take any of it back. They are worth that much. Recently i had found another person that was worth that much. And that person whether they know it or not broke my heart by simple words themselves. I'm not talking your typical "mean" words. I'm talking SIMPLE things. Lil things such as using "John" or "I want to be a race car driver"... Anyone can cuss you out. Anyone can berate you. Anyone can get mad and say things they dont necessarily mean. But when the people you love use these simple words, it crushes your soul. I've always been a trusting person. I don't mean I would leave my wallet out in the open at my shop. But if someone tells me something, I believe them. I take what they say for face value. If you really listen to people, when they are calm, when they are just talking normal, you can determine what they really feel. You can't always trust people's words when they are angry or hurt. People tend to lash out when they are angry or hurt. But when they aren't thinking like during a simple conversation, you can learn alot if you listen. The last thing I will mention here that I have learned is a pretty common one that most already know. It just took me 32 years to believe it. True friendship and true love does not require conditions. If they are true, people will accept you for what you are and what you do. Right or wrong. They won't decide one day that they can't be around because of something you said or something you done. They may tell you they don't approve or agree, thats what honesty is about. But they will stand by you regardless. They won't say "if you love me, you will ________ "
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